By Heather, mom to Kai from China with anorectal malformation and VSD
We began our adoption journey in May of 2005. We already had two beautiful, healthy children and decided the next child that joined our family would be a child without a mother and father. Like so many other families, we initially requested a healthy baby girl. Looking back, I can not even remember why we chose a baby girl. I think it may have been because we assumed all Chinese adoptions were little girls. However, after we sent our dossier to China I began to learn about the special needs program. Our first child had been born with club feet and tibial torsion we had handled the constant doctor’s appointments and surgeries without much difficulty. It seems like a perfect fit! We requested to view our agency’s waiting child list and there he was…a two year old little boy born with repaired VSD and imperforate anus. Although it may sound improbable, I was in love with him from the moment I saw his face.
Our entire family joined us on our trip to China. We were a party of seven and we loved every minute of it! Our two older children (ages 10 and 7) were incredible with their new little brother. Kai Beckett XiangYang was not too sure of us for our first few days together, but he knew he liked his brother and sister. He also seemed healthy and loved. Kai was quite attached to his nanny (who took him home some nights) and he was well fed. We felt so blessed! We arrived home with Kai on Thanksgiving Day of 2007. I doubt I will ever feel as thankful as I did that day.
Kai has now been home for one year and he has truly blended seamlessly into our family. He has had no attachment or bonding difficulties and has consistently slept through the night with the exception of a six-week period. During those weeks, he would only stop crying if he were neatly tucked into his pitch black closet (I still have not figured that out.) He attends preschool and receives speech therapy for poor pronunciation. His VSD has been a non-issue. We were told to have his heart checked again in another 3 years. His imperforate anus is another story. Kai has had chronic diarrhea from the day that he was handed to us. One year and twenty doctors later, we finally discovered that Kai has a small hole between his bowels and his urinary tract causing the diarrhea. He will be having surgery to repair the hole next month (Jan. 2009). Kai’s personality can only be described as joyful. He always has a smile on his face and is the sweetest three year old that you will ever meet. I’m sure he will handle this surgery with his own special style of pluck, as he has with all the other difficulties he has faced in his short life.
Because of Kai and the joy he has brought into our family, we are currently pursuing another adoption from China. Kai’s little brother was also born with imperforate anus and also has a smile that can light up a room (but of course, we’ve only seen it in pictures!) We expect to meet our new son sometime in the late spring.
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