I am sure that many of you can relate to sibling sagas. I prefer the term saga than rivalry. But it’s basically the same thing: siblings who struggle to get along with each other (and that is putting it very mildly when you’re living it, let me tell ya)!
When we brought home our Kevin at age 2 in 2010, he was the BABY. With all capitals, mind you. And add on top of BABY, he has a very serious heart defect, so he was BABY multiplied. You get the picture.
For twenty months, Kevin was the youngest of 8.
Then his world was rocked.
His throne was usurped.
And we did this without Kevin’s permission
Actually, the baby sister, Crickett, has been the least of Kevin’s worries (and of course…that was the issue I was most worried about…Kevin losing his baby position).
In fact, it has been the ‘almost the same age’ brother, Keith, that has been the sweet pebble causing the ripples in Kevin’s smooth little pond.
Mind you, Keith and Crickett have adjusted beautifully into our family. There have been no attachment issues, thank you Lord. They have been a complete JOY and have transitioned amazingly well.
For the first time ever, we are learning to deal with a sibling saga. And the particular sibling behind most of the fusses is not one of our newly adopted children. No, he’s a four year old, 31 pound bundle of FIREWORKS.
Oh the jealousy. The rivalry. The fighting between Kevin and Keith. If Kevin says something, Keith has to say it too. If Keith says something, Kevin has to say it too. If Keith wants that toy, Kevin wants it too. If Keith doesn’t play with Kevin, Kevin gets mad. So Keith plays with Kevin, and Kevin gets mad anyway.
I have heard people talk about “love/hate” relationships. And now I am getting an up and personal, front row seat to one of those. Except I can’t just watch this drama, I get the starring role of MEDIATOR.
After Keith and Crickett had been home about one month, and I had been on my knees in tears over what to do about Kevin and Keith’s endless battles, (I tried EVERYTHING), God gave me insight and wisdom.
“Just remind Kevin that he will ALWAYS be in your family. Remind him that you will ALWAYS be his mom and dad. Remind Kevin that he is ALWAYS loved. And persevere. And thank Me for these battles, because it is through them that Kevin and Keith will learn peace with each other.”
So I did. Again and again. I thanked God for every time I had to intervene in their “playing”. And I told Kevin as much as possible the truths that God reminded me to tell.
And I saw Kevin processing every little word I said.
But that’s not all I saw.
Glimmers of hope when they hold hands during reading time.
Glimpses of good things to come when I see Keith slowing down so Kevin can catch up.
Their riding toys parked side by side. No older siblings had done it. They were left right where Keith and Kevin parked them. TOGETHER.
Thank you Lord!