aging-out children

November 14, 2013 by nohandsbutours advocacy; older child adoption, aging-out child, Children Who Wait 0 Comments

Chinese law forbids adoption after the age of fourteen. The children highlighted below will all lose the chance of having a family by November or December of this year. A family would need to either be very close to having dossier sent to China or already be logged in with China to race to beat their birthdays. Read this wonderful article to find out more about the adoption of older Chinese orphans.

The five wonderful boys featured in this post have been overlooked for 13 years and have a short time to find families who will welcome them into their hearts forever! These boys had the opportunity to attend a camp this past summer and the following descriptions are from American volunteers who met and worked with these boys at the camp. All of these boys are on the shared list so any agency can access their files. Could one of these boys be the son that you have been praying for?

Meet Tom, age 13

Tom is 13 years old and will age out of the adoption system in March of 2014 so he has only a few months to find his forever family!

Tom is a sweet boy! Our volunteers found him to be sensible, mature, and able to help with the younger children. We pray that he will have the opportunity to be loved by a forever family before it is too late!

tom

This is what Tom’s volunteer wrote about him:
“He is such a mature and sweet boy and among the boys I had for this summer, I like him most. I don’t know if that is because he is older than others or he had some experiences that made him, he is so mature. A little reserved, but friendly. He didn’t seem to be extremely self confident, but was generally happy and carefree. He always said that it was the last time coming to camp and he cherished it a lot. He told me that he understand us. He talks much with Milo, my partner. He would generally look out for the other kids – if his buddy did something wrong, he would encourage him to be sensible and consider the feelings of others. This is one of the things that impressed me the most – he was always looking out for his peers, and would always seek to understand why they were acting out. One day when his friend, Peter, was upset and didn’t want to go swimming we all tried to talk to Peter but to no avail. Tom was able to use patience and understanding to gently push him to go. It was really cool to see his consideration for his friends – in this sense, he’s very mature.”

tom2

What a blessing this boy will be for the family who welcomes him!

Meet Elijah, age 13

Elijah is another special boy who ages out in March of 2014. Elijah’s special need is cleft palate, which is considered a relatively minor special need. He is a fun child who loves to sing and dance but is also independent, doing his own thing at times. According to his volunteers/translators, he is sometimes hard to understand while speaking.

elijah

This was written by the volunteer who spent time with Elijah:
“My favorite memory with this boy was when we were preparing for the talent show. At first none of them wanted to do anything, so we just decided to wing it. My translators were both trying super hard to get them to dance and sing with them, but Ming Tao (he was the other older boy) and Elijah both just rolled around in the bed covers laughing and telling the other one to get up and dance. I decided to jump onto the bed and tickle Elijah. After a lot of laughing and squirming, he finally came out and decided to break dance and do a “special jazz dance” (according to him that’s what it’s called). After trying to copy him and failing, he and Ming Tao told me they would teach me some of their dance moves. That was my most memorable moment with Elijah. When I first saw him, I did not think he had any serious disabilities. However, he is quite hard to understand. Although I can understand Chinese, there were times I could not make out a word he said. We never really had a long, sit-down conversation but the short sentences here and there were hard to understand. Even my translators and the other kids said that even they sometimes don’t know what he is saying. He mumbles most of the time and sometimes it sounds like he is slurring. Other than that, he does not have any major disabilities. He is really a sweet boy and actions speak louder than words!”

el

Look at that face! What a fun addition Elijah would be to any family!

Meet Bobby, age 13 Update: He has a family!

Bobby is a complete sweetheart! He is friendly, super-chatty and very confident! Everyone fell in love with Bobby because of his gentle spirit and ability to make people laugh. His only special need is a cleft palate. We are very surprised he has still not found a family and want someone to bring this awesome boy home before he ages out. Bobby ages out in June of 2014 so a family would still have time to get “paper-ready”!

Bobby

Here is what the volunteer who worked with Bobby had to say about him:
“Bobby is a boy to remember. He is friendly, goofy, soft-hearted, practical, and comfortable in his own skin. As one of the older one’s in the group, he always looked out for the younger ones and was respected by many of the other children. He did not mind sitting on the side lines and watching his peers play, but he would also easily go up and be crazy and goofy with them. During dress ups, he put on a dress, a black wig, and some pink heart sun glasses and danced away! He loves to draw, dance, and play with beach balls. The most significant moment with Ming Tao was during the time we exchanged goodbye letters. He had been to camp before and he already knew the routine. Goodbye letters meant the camp was coming to an end. He is normally funny and friendly but in this session he tucked himself into the bed and avoided eye contact. My translator read my letter to him and he continued to be silent, but when she started to read his letter to me, he started to cry. He quickly pulled the blanket over his head and refused to look up. When I wrapped my arms around him, I could feel his “wall” come down fully for the first time. He rested his head on my shoulder and continued to cry. After that goodbye session, I felt like the bond between us grew stronger.”

Bobby2

Oh, how much love this boy would have to offer a family! We pray that he will find the family that will offer him permanence and love very soon!

Meet Daniel, age 13

Daniel is a helpful boy who is so close to aging out! He is very smart and caring with the other children. We think he would make a great son and brother! When he turns 14 in March of 2014, he can no longer be adopted. A family would have to sign the paperwork in China before his 14th birthday. We hope and pray this boy can have a family before it is too late! WACAP has offered a sizeable grant toward his adoption!

daniel

Daniel’s volunteer writes:
“Daniel is a happy young man with a heart to help the other children that weren’t able to do things for themselves. Many of the other children would come to him for help, so he has established himself as a leader among the children. He was also fairly mature for his age with a good understanding of what was going on around him. Daniel was a big help with the children. I remember seeing him many times taking care of the smaller and/or handicapped children. I remember Daniel taking one of the wheel chair bound children for a float ride as we were swimming – he was very gentle and enjoyed seeing the younger ones laugh. I remember showing him pictures of my family and letting him skype with them. He was always very respectful and courteous. Daniel loved to read comic books. He was quiet most of the time, but almost always had a smile on his face. Daniel did not seem to have any disability other than wearing glasses. As a matter of fact, he seemed to be pretty athletic when we went on walks and played pitch. We also had a few discussions about his life at the orphanage, where he was able to tell me about his school and seemed to do normal 13-year-old work.”

dan

What a wonderful blessing Daniel will be for his new siblings and parents!

Meet Austin, age 13

Austin is another great boy who will be aging out in March of 2014. Such a sad prospect to grow up without a family! He is a smart boy and though shy around new people, once he gets to know people, he loves to chat away! Our records say he is healthy. Please help us find a family for this sweet and generous boy!

austin

What Austin’s Bring Me Hope volunteer had to say:
“Austin was a joy to be around in the week that I got to know him. At first Austin was very shy, and it seemed like he was hesitant to speak and get to know me. After the first day of activities, he really opened up and I had so much fun getting to know him. One of Austin’s favorite things to do was to swim and I could tell he enjoyed it by the smile on his face. His smile is definitely the thing I will remember most about Austin, because he was always joyful and smiling. One of my favorite memories happened the last day of camp. I gave each of my kids a small gift which they were both very happy to receive. Austin looked at me and smiled, and then gave me his watch in return. I am not a very emotional person normally, but this moment really touched my heart. One of the best things I could say about Austin is that he really cares about people, and always did a good job of being kind to the other kids. Austin was very smart. We had many conversations about sports and other activities that I do in America. Austin really enjoyed craft time and has a very good imagination. It seemed to me like sometimes Austin had a hard time expressing himself, but most of the time he communicated very well. Austin also has very good writing skills. I still have the letter that he wrote me, and I will keep it forever. I really enjoyed my time with him and I will never forget the things he did because he really had an impact on my life.”

austin1

Please help us find this wonderful boy’s family very soon!

The following resources may be of inspiration to families considering adding an aging out child to their family:

Love Without Boundaries
Bergey Bunch
Rylands Family

If you don’t have an adoption agency, and have questions about possible next steps in adopting an aging-out child, please email our Advocacy Team.



Leave a Reply

© 2014 No Hands But Ours

The content found on the No Hands But Ours website is not approved, endorsed, curated or edited by medical professionals. Consult a doctor with expertise in the special needs of interest to you.