I have been a mom for 30 years. Yes, our oldest son just turned 30! It is hard to believe how fast the time has gone. It was just yesterday our dear baby boy was born. We spent our time… just staring at him, in awe, completely amazed at this tiny miracle that God created!
Fast forward 30 years to December 2013. And here we are with 5 older biological children and 13 children born in our hearts. Each one a perfect blessing from GOD!
As parents we love our children passionately regardless of how they came to us. We fiercely protect them each and every day, as best we can.
But there are times when we fail. When we are not in the right place at the right time and our children are subjected to experiences that are less than desirable… experiences that are downright hurtful…
That is what happened to our daughter…
She was lured into a situation where she was taken advantage of… mocked by those she thought were her friends (an adult and a young teen).
She was interrogated and video taped as they asked her questions that she did not understand. She expounded in untruthful ways trying to please her audience and when it was over she was left feeling empty and confused.
Our daughter was previously an orphan, she was abandoned by her birth mother as an infant. For the first year home she would say to us “my birth Momma didn’t want me, she threw me away”. In the beginning it was said in a nonchalant manner but later the tears flowed. It has taken us many years to reassure her that her birth Momma loved her but was unable to care for her and unable to keep her, so she did what she thought was best for her baby. Our daughter and other international adoptees have suffered more than any of us will ever know or understand.
My heart and my head… for the life of me, cannot understand why any adult would EVER do this to a child. Why would they ask a question that is so full of hurt. Why would they deliberately try to open an old wound in an adopted child.
Why would a grown woman EVER attempt to isolate a child (who was previously an orphan) from her family and then interrogate her…
Why would she barrage her with questions and in an attempt to get information that is none of her business. Our children’s special needs are for our family only! Whatever I share in our family blog is for education, adoption advocating and prayer purposes only. It is not to be used to discriminate against, harass or intimidate our children and family.
As the interrogation ended she asked our daughter “the question.” “The question” that no adoptee should ever be asked by a neighbor or anyone else.
Here is the question that continuously breaks my heart to even think of …
“Do they love you as much as their older birth children?”
My jaw drops every time I think of this…
I am so sad that I was not there to protect her, to intervene and stop the litany of unusual and unkind questions.
Why would an adult EVER say this to an adopted child? Why would she try to hurt this child that she previously seemed to be fond of? Why would she try to victimize the victim…
Our daughter was flustered and surprised by such a question… she hesitated and then answered back “I don’t know, I think so…”
Well, let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR!
YES, WE LOVE OUR ADOPTED CHILDREN JUST AS MUCH AS OUR BIRTH CHILDREN!
AND our birth children would expect nothing less from us!
AND we will fiercely and lovingly protect all of our children because they are ALL OUR CHILDREN no matter how they came to our family!