The Fruits of Attachment Labor

web 1

While we were waiting to bring Sunshine home back in 2010 and 2011, I learned as much as I could about fostering attachment. I tried to memorize all of the attachment advice. Build trust by meeting needs quickly, check. Be the only ones to meet all of her needs, check. Love unconditionally, check. Don’t let […]

In the Miry Clay

I was thinking about parents in the adoption trenches today, those stuck down deep in the mud – you know who you are and this one’s for you.  I have had a little time in the trenches, not nearly as much as some of you, but I know that when you are in the muddy […]

a mom’s struggle with attaching

family

I was given a deadline for this post of the end of July – mostly because I asked for one.  That was a month ago.  As I write this I am now only one week out from the deadline, and I’m just now sitting down to put my thoughts on paper.  Although I am a […]

like rain in the desert

CCAI__SandyPuc067_print

It seems fitting to me that it’s raining in the desert the night before Easter. I can’t remember the last time it rained, and I’ve opened the windows wide in our house. Propped the back door open. I’m inhaling the scent of the air washed clean of all the dust it usually carries; listening to […]

the greatest special need of all

GD-1030010

Welcome to Amy, mom to Grace adopted from China 8 months ago, and our newest contributor at No Hands But Ours. Amy blogs at Stops Along the Journey. Special needs. We hear those words so often in so many places; schools, adoption agencies, the work place, fast food restaurants, and facebook. Adoptive parents who choose […]

trust and pretty shoes

AdrianNHBOSig

Trust is a funny thing.  You kind of don’t notice it, until it is gone… or was never there. I think the sword and shield is the universal symbol for “I don’t trust you yet!” Me:  Okay Ping, we have to run into my work for a second, then we will go home. Ping:  Okay. […]

My baby

KristiNHBOSig

Last Sunday we celebrated five years since our oldest child was placed in my arms in a hot room in southern China.  That means that I’m precisely five years and six days into this glorious adventure called motherhood. The learning curve was vicious at first, but I’ve come a long way.  I feel that I […]

I’m Outta here!

CIMG0070+%282%29

4 out of 5 arguments are started over Barbie Dolls… G:  Daddy!  DADDY!  Ping is trying to take my barbie doll!Me:  What?  Ping, are you trying to take G’s doll?Ping:  No!Me:  Really?  Because I see her doll in your hand.Ping:  No!Me:  Ping, I can see that you have G’s doll.  Don’t lie to your Daddy.Ping: […]

A Way With Da Ladies

ladies1

 Today’s guest post is by our first contributor who isn’t a mama… he is a baba. Adrian is father to four children, his youngest daughter adopted from China, and blogs at Forever Family. ____________________________________________________________________ I know there are some stories of adoption out there, where the bonding between child and parent(s) is instant and wonderful! […]

Explaining "I Did Not Love My Adopted Child" to My Very Real, Very Loved Daughter

A final guest post, contributed by KJ Dell’Antonia (aka Lola Granola). KJ is now a regular contributor at NHBO, so you’ll hear from her monthly beginning this month. KJ is a writer and mother to four children. Her youngest, Rory, was adopted from China in July 2009. She blogs about real life at Raising Devils. […]