But I Don't Even Want to Control You. Do I?

February 18, 2011 by nohandsbutours KJ 0 Comments

I’ve been storing up examples of Rory’s need for control, in part to prove to myself that I’m not imagining things, and to gain, of course, additional verification that she is trying to drive me crazy: 1. In a restaurant, I ordered her chicken fingers, and she pitched a fit. “I not want you do …Read More

How Old Are You Now?

January 17, 2011 by nohandsbutours KJ 0 Comments

When we set out to adopt, we initially thought of a baby. Not an infant–our thought was that there were many, many parents out there who wanted, even needed a baby. A baby, we figured, didn’t need us. Plus, we’d had babies: three of them. We didn’t need the neediness, the sleepless nights, the crying, …Read More

No Messing With Heaven

October 18, 2010 by nohandsbutours KJ 0 Comments

First, let me say that I know from tough questions bubbling up from the back seat. I have already handled, on previous occasions, the question of what war is, an explanation of gay marriage and, regarding racial discrimination, “but that was all a long time ago, right?” And I have fielded, also while driving, a …Read More

That Gon' Make Me ANNOYING!

June 18, 2010 by nohandsbutours KJ 1 Comments

Well, yes, yes it is. In fact (and this is awful, and I know it), you were already annoying. Far more annoying than your brothers and sisters. and I’m trying to figure out why. (Of course, when you’re pouting, as here, you really ARE annoying. Nothing tough to get about that one.) Rory doesn’t mean …Read More

Explaining "I Did Not Love My Adopted Child" to My Very Real, Very Loved Daughter

May 2, 2010 by nohandsbutours Attachment, guest post, KJ 4 Comments

A final guest post, contributed by KJ Dell’Antonia (aka Lola Granola). KJ is now a regular contributor at NHBO, so you’ll hear from her monthly beginning this month. KJ is a writer and mother to four children. Her youngest, Rory, was adopted from China in July 2009. She blogs about real life at Raising Devils. …Read More