Adoption: Hard to Start. Harder to Stop.

February 19, 2015 by nohandsbutours adoption realities, large families, Mike 29 Comments

Chinese Village

“When you go back…” In the weeks before we left for China for our first adoption, Anne and I met with some family friends who had adopted three Chinese daughters. The goal of our time with Kevin and Vicki was to better understand what to expect on the trip and in the months to follow. …Read More

The Lost Boys of China

January 19, 2015 by nohandsbutours boys, gender as a special need, Mike 7 Comments

In case you have any question about it, boys need moms, too.

It started with Adam It was at McDonalds on a crisp December morning in 2002, and we had just completed an ultrasound appointment for our second child. During the appointment, we learned that our first child, Abby, was going to have a baby brother. Over her tray of hash browns and an Egg McMuffin, Anne …Read More

What happened when Mary showed Jesus’ adoption file to Joseph

December 22, 2014 by nohandsbutours Christmas, Mike, reluctant husband 4 Comments

Like most RHs, this is Joseph later claiming it was his idea.

Let me paint a picture for you. A wife comes to her husband and explains that she wants to have a child. He responds that he is not sure about the timing, but he is willing to try… or at least practice a lot. But then she explains that this isn’t that kind of child. …Read More

It turns out that chicken fried rice does not count as culture

November 19, 2014 by Mike adoption realities, Chinese culture, large families, Mike, transracial adoption 10 Comments

I am the textbook definition of a white guy. Beyond simply a scarcity of melanin, I have almost every other stereotypical characteristic that one might associate with my race – a general lack of rhythm, limited vertical leap, a “John Cougar Mellencamp” playlist on my iPod, an unhealthy relationship with ketchup, and a generalized ignorance …Read More

Re-Aging and Un-Twinning: Sam and the Time Machine

October 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours age assignment, Mike 4 Comments

Sam-and-Ellie-at-his-4th-Birthday

Or, how my son got younger since we adopted him. We recently celebrated Round 2 of my son Sam’s fourth birthday party. On the surface, this may not seem unusual. A lot of people might have two different birthday parties – one at school and one at home, one with family and one with friends, …Read More

I’m Pretty Sure My China Mommy Cried

September 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours adoption realities, Mike 11 Comments

As an adoptive parent, I sometimes forget that my adopted children had a life before me… that their life did not start when we met in a Chinese Civil Affairs building. The following essay was written last year by my 9 year old daughter, Mia, as part of a class assignment on “A Place I …Read More

The Gift of Siblings

August 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours Mike 4 Comments

When we started investigating adoption, one of our greatest concerns was the impact it might have on Abby and Adam – our “bio kids.” We loved our family of four. Through the completely objective lens of all young parents, our kids seemed smarter, nicer, and better looking than all of the other kids at the …Read More

Quiet Times: And on the seventh hour, we rested…

July 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours Mike 7 Comments

We are on the verge of a major transition in our home. For the last 14 years, we have had at least one child who needed an afternoon nap. In recent weeks, it is becoming clear that our youngest, Sam, may no longer need one. As my three-year-old transitions into a big-boy schedule, we are …Read More

Loaves, Fishes, and Bedrooms

June 15, 2014 by nohandsbutours adoption realities, affording adoption, Mike 13 Comments

As a dad, one of the most common concerns from prospective adoptive fathers is on the finances relative to adoption and larger families. This provides some perspective on our experience: This month will be the 10th anniversary of when we moved into our current house. We built this house, and it was the perfect size …Read More

When the voiceless break into song (from Isaiah 35)

May 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours BAHA, hearing impairment, microtia, Mike 1 Comments

As a dad of six, I know that I am not objective in assessing my own kids. Often, I see them in too favorable of a light, and I find myself measuring our family room mantle to see if it will hold six Nobel Prizes, six Olympic medals, and six Academy Awards at the same …Read More

the fruit of your labor

April 22, 2014 by nohandsbutours Desiree, Mike, Rebecca, Stefanie 3 Comments

Two months ago, we asked for your help. We were looking for a few new bloggers to help round out the NHBO team. And boy-o-boy, did y’all come through. We received 115 nominations. And we sifted through each one. What fun to visit all those adoption blogs and read the stories of so many precious …Read More

Day 366: Trading “Likes” for Love

April 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours HIV, Mike 7 Comments

It was just over one year ago that Anne and I returned home from China with Sam and Ellie. And as I reflect upon our time in China, I am struck by how much I treasure my memories from those first days together. I remember laughing at our first meal together when Sam and Ellie …Read More

Six Pills a Day: A Cure for My Ignorance Regarding HIV

March 19, 2014 by nohandsbutours advocating, HIV, Mike 6 Comments

Mike is dad to six. Two of his children, adopted from China, have HIV. Today he shares from-the-heart about their journey. You can read a previous post he shared here. Growing up in the Midwest in the 80s, my picture of HIV was framed by after-school specials, the evening news, and MTV. I had never …Read More

How Magic Johnson Became My New Favorite Basketball Player

March 12, 2013 by nohandsbutours HIV, Mike 6 Comments

— A guest post by dad-to-six Mike Jutt who is currently in China bringing home his twins! “This is going to be the most shocking phone call of your life…” Those are the first 13 words Anne said to me when I answered the phone at work that afternoon. But it was the next three …Read More

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