Dear Younger Me, His Plans are Good
July 7, 2016
adopting a boy, adopting later in life, aging out expedite, guest post, July 2016 Feature - Dear Younger Me, older child adoption
“When I think back over the years since marrying Tom Rylands, it is almost surreal to me the path that God chose for our family. It was a path that was such a grand departure from any plans that we had for ourselves. When Tom, 28 years my senior, and I approached marriage, neither of …Read More
Easy-Peasy-Lemon-Squeezy
July 1, 2016
adopting a boy, amputation, Family Stories, June 2016 Feature - Orthopedic, Larsen Syndrome, limb difference, older child adoption, prosthetics
My son, J, has Larsen syndrome, a condition of multiple joint malformations. I write this in hopes that it shows how manageable this condition is. In the summer of 2012, I saw a video that an advocate had posted, of a little boy riding a scooter around a play area. His nanny was directing him …Read More
We Love the Llama
June 5, 2016
attachment activities, June 2016 Feature - Books, older child adoption, Whitney
Our June featured focus is books. Books that teach us about our children’s homeland. Books that help us understand our children’s past. Books that resonate with our kids once home. This month we’ll be featuring all kinds of books. It’s sure to be fun. And if you have some recommendations for our readers, please be …Read More
Building a Family: Adopting as a Single Mom
June 3, 2016
adopting as a single mom, diastematomyelia, Family Stories, June 2016 Feature - Orthopedic, older child adoption, Orthopedic, scoliosis, spina bifida, tethered cord, working mom
I am a happy and busy single mom to two wonderful daughters adopted from China. My older daughter, Corrie, was adopted in 2002 through the NSN (non-special needs) program; she is a smart, funny, and thoughtful young lady who loves animals and plans to be a veterinarian when she grows up. For years Corrie and …Read More
Two Years of Blessings
May 9, 2016
adopting a boy, cerebral palsy, Family Stories, older child adoption
It has been two years. Two years since China said yes. Two years full of unexpected blessings. Two years of being asleep before your head hits the pillow at night. Two years of going to work with kisses on your cheeks. Two years full of learning new things for both Lock and us. Has life …Read More
We’ve Got This: Parenting a Child with CP
April 29, 2016
April 2016 Feature - CNS, Central Nervous System, cerebral palsy, Family Stories, older child adoption
My son has Cerebral Palsy. Mild Right Hemiplegic Cerebral Palsy to be specific, which means only the right side of his body is affected. If you see him running by on the playground or the soccer field, you might never even notice he has physical difficulties. If you have an idea in your mind of …Read More
Right in the Middle…. A Perfect Fit
April 17, 2016
adopting out of birth order, March 2016 Feature - Special Circumstances, older child adoption
In 2007 with four boys already at home ages 10, 7, 2 and 1, we started the process to adopt from China. What had been a desire for quite some time in our hearts was finally coming true. We submitted paperwork to adopt a as young as possible non-special needs daughter. We expected to be …Read More
The Best Decision We’ve Ever Made
April 15, 2016
adopting again, adopting later in life, adopting out of birth order, adopting two at once, Jean, large families, older child adoption
In September of 2006, hubby and I walked into our first adoption introductory meeting at Children’s Home Society in St Paul, MN. It was for families that were interested in adoption and wanted to learn more about it. We met four wonderful couples at that meeting. At that time we had five birth children, ranging …Read More
Painting White Walls White
April 13, 2016
Attachment, older child adoption, Trust Based Parenting
When I was 14 years old my family moved to a new state. This was a good move for me personally, as I had struggled both academically and socially where we were and it was good for our whole family. The town we were leaving was struggling, and as a result about half the town …Read More
Siblings and Adoption: 30 Ways to Ease the Transistion
March 30, 2016
adopting again, attachment activities, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, older child adoption, siblings
We have seven kids, four bio and three adopted. Our three children whom we have adopted are older kiddos with special needs. We’ve been home for only three months with our newest child….. so we are pretty much hands on at the moment. I have compiled a list of different things we did to help …Read More
Thriving with Thalassemia
March 26, 2016
beta thalassemia major, Blood Conditions, Family Stories, March 2016 Feature - Blood Conditions, older child adoption, thalassemia
My daughter’s medical information is scary. It has words like chronic and terminal. Add that to the fact that her orphanage has never had a child with her diagnosis live past the age of 14, and you start to really get a grim picture of her life. Now, wipe all of that away, because it’s …Read More
Adopting Out Of Birth Order… Times Three
March 26, 2016
adopting out of birth order, adopting two at once, age assignment, large families, March 2016 Feature - Special Circumstances, older child adoption, virtual twins
Sometimes I look around at my kids and think how did this happen? How did I deserve to have 10 amazingly perfect children? We struggled in our marriage, we worked it out, and promised God that where He led, we would follow. And He has not disappointed. He continues to bless us with his amazing …Read More
And 2 Makes 9
March 25, 2016
adopting a boy, adopting out of birth order, adopting two at once, aging out expedite, Family Stories, large families, March 2016 Feature - Special Circumstances, older child adoption, should we adopt?
Where do I even start? Our family began our first adoption in 2004, a few years after the birth of our third son. We thought it would be our first and last adoption. We always had the heart for adoption, but surprised ourselves as we actually went through with our heart’s desire. My husband, Russ, …Read More
The Beginning of Surrender
March 24, 2016
adopting later in life, adopting two at once, Down syndrome, Family Stories, March 2016 Feature - Special Circumstances, medical waiver, older child adoption, waiver request
“We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us …Read More
We Said Yes, Anyway
March 22, 2016
beta thalassemia major, Blood Conditions, Family Stories, March 2016 Feature - Blood Conditions, older child adoption, thalassemia
“It’s so easy to live with! It barely impacts our day to day life.” “It’s a very complicated disease. It looks like it’s going to be another couple of weeks in the hospital this time…” You might think I’m referring to different disorders in the descriptions above. The truth is these were all things I …Read More
More Than Blood: Adopting a Child with Thalassemia
March 11, 2016
adopting again, beta thalassemia major, Blood Conditions, Family Stories, March 2016 Feature - Blood Conditions, older child adoption, thalassemia
How do most kids get in a pool? They jump… full force, no holding back. They don’t know what the water temperature is, and they don’t care. They are so excited to be at the pool, they anticipate all the fun they are about to have, and it doesn’t bother them if the water is …Read More
Looking Past the Needs to See the Child
February 21, 2016
cognitive delay, Family Stories, large families, LInear Nevus Sebaceous Syndrome, older child adoption
More than a few times, my husband and I have looked around us and wondered out loud how this all happened. How on earth did we end up with 12 children? Have we really spent a cumulative three months in China and Vietnam adopting some of our children? Who plans this? Certainly not us. When …Read More
Victories from the Valley: An Unexpected Journey in Adopting a Child with NF1
February 18, 2016
adoption realities, cocooning, Family Stories, first weeks home, glaucoma, neurofibromatosis, NF1, older child adoption, parent-to-child attachment
We had been home from China with our first daughter almost five months when we saw her picture: a sweet face with a deep downcast shown in her eyes. She was six years old. Her file had been passed over by a few families already because of the uncertainties of her medical condition. One eye …Read More
It’s Twins!… Or Not.
February 15, 2016
adopting out of birth order, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, older child adoption, virtual twins
When we entered the world of adoption in 2013, my eyes were opened to older child adoption. To the reality of spending your entire life in an institution. To the tragedy of aging out children. We were in process to bring home our then five year old, and I remember thanking the Lord for people …Read More
Microcephaly: A Blessing In Disguise
January 24, 2016
cognitive delay, developmental delays, Family Stories, Jean, microcephaly, older child adoption
I first learned about microcephaly while working in the newborn nursery. A sweet little boy lay in a basinet all bundled up in a white hospital blanket. As I got closer to him I noticed his head was quite small compared to the other newborns. I later found out that this dear child was diagnosed …Read More
Saying Yes to a Beautiful Mess
January 11, 2016
older child adoption, tethered cord
We started our adoption journey after a mission trip to the Navajo nation in Arizona. Leaving our three children behind, we set out to minister to others.While we were there, we saw the “big picture of life”, as we like to call it. We saw things on our trip that were bigger than ourselves. We …Read More
We’re Not Special
January 5, 2016
complex heart defect, Family Stories, Heart System, HLHS, older child adoption, orphan hosting, single atrium heart disease, single ventricle heart disease, TGA
My husband, Bobby, and I are not special. We keep being told that we are. Ever since starting the adoption process, people keep telling us we are “special”. I don’t always know how to respond. I feel embarrassed and totally unworthy. We don’t belong on that pedestal. Have they seen our very un-special home and …Read More
A Single Image
January 3, 2016
December 2015 Feature - Sensory, Family Stories, older child adoption, profound deafness, Sensory System, waiver request
When a single image changes your whole life… We began our adoption process in a way that was, likely, different from many. I was checking my email, and literally, on a whim, I opened up an email I normally wouldn’t have. And there, staring at me, was my son. It rattled me to my core …Read More
Older Children and Incontinence, a Family Story
November 29, 2015
bowel management, Family Stories, imperforate anus, incontinence, lipomyelomeningocele, November 2015 Feature - Urogenital, older child adoption, tethered cord, Urogenital System, VACTERL
Our adoption journey started with two infant adoptions from South Korea, in 2008 and 2010. Our first was a healthy baby boy; our second, a daughter with limb differences. When we considered adding to our family again, we decided to adopt an older child and looked into the China special needs program. We pondered the …Read More
Embracing Her Story: Sarah
November 20, 2015
adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, Jean, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, older child adoption, telling their life story
We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More
It Is What It Is, Not What it Should Be
November 18, 2015
disruption, failed adoption, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, older child adoption
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12 That’s been my view on most things in life: it is what it is, not what it should be. Our daughter came to us on September 1, 2013, at 8.5 years old. She’d been adopted from China at age 4.5 by another family, …Read More
Every Child is Our Child {the blessing of orphanage updates}
October 28, 2015
Kelly, older child adoption, orphanage realities
It was a 100-page labor of love. For months, in anticipation of my visit back to my daughter’s orphanage, I had been collecting updates. I hoped for 25 families to be a part of the update book. In the end, there were 50. I had asked them specific things: their child’s Chinese name and the …Read More
Dear Parents-To-Be: Advice From the Front Lines
October 22, 2015
adopting two at once, adoption realities, China trip, disruption, Gotcha Day, guest post, older child adoption, orphanage behaviors
There’s been a rash of disruptions lately, both while still in China and shortly after the families are back in America. I’m not here to pass judgment on people, or talk about families who disrupt months or years into the process. I’m here to talk about the beginning, and to give some advice. Real advice. …Read More
A Poster Picture of… The Waiting Child…
September 15, 2015
Jean, older child adoption
Every time I look at this picture I am at a loss for words… It embodies the plight of the older waiting child. A loving family visits their son’s orphanage just days after they meet him. Their daughter (being carried by her mother) has been home for over a year. Their new son is in …Read More
Attachment: What’s Worked For Us
April 15, 2015
April/May 2015 Feature Attachment, Jean, large families, older child adoption
I would say we are experienced in attachment but we are by no means experts. After adopting 13 children we have had quite a bit of “on the job” training! Ten of our adoptions have been with children between the ages of 5-11. Our daughter adopted at 11 years 3 months was not prepared to …Read More
with open arms: adopting from disruption
March 19, 2015
disruption, March 2015 Feature - Disruption, older child adoption, PTSD
We stood shivering on a strange doorstep sixteen long hours from home. It was nerves mixed with excitement that churned inside me as we raised our hand to knock on the door. A stack of boxes and suitcases greeted us in the foyer when the door opened. We stepped inside and a little boy with …Read More
Recovering a Childhood
March 15, 2015
Jean, older child adoption, orphanage realities
Recently our oldest adopted daughter from China celebrated her 15th birthday. She wasn’t excited about this birthday because she didn’t want to be fifteen. She liked being 14 and to her 15 felt too old. You see she feels a bit cheated… Her childhood began at the age of 8 yrs 8 month and 18 …Read More
Will You Love Me Forever?
January 30, 2015
amniotic band syndrome, Family Stories, older child adoption
Excitement, curiosity and fear of the unknown filled the eight year old boy’s mind as he entered the cold, stale room. His eyes landed on some smiling faces that looked vaguely familiar. Yes, these were the same faces that had smiled at him from the pages of the photo album he carried in his backpack, …Read More
Even If They Are From A Good Orphanage…
December 16, 2014
adoption realities, Jean, older child adoption
They need a family… When we adopted Ben we knew he was from a nice orphanage, much different than many of our other children. We also knew he had a foster family for many years. Once he was home we found out he had been with them for 6 of his 7.5 years. From Ben’s …Read More
No Boys?
September 15, 2014
gender as a special need, heart defect, Jean, older child adoption
That’s what we were saying back in 2006. We had 4 biological sons and felt like that was a good number. We had one daughter and felt like the Lord had perfectly planned it… we needed more girls! I had always dreamed of a sister for Katie. Of course not one that was 20 years …Read More
Ready or Not…Kindergarten, Here I Come
September 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
I’m no novice when it comes to parenting. And I’m definitely not a novice when it comes to sending my kids off to Kindergarten. But this year, there was something different about the three times I’d done it previously. This time it was my China babies. Nothing could have fully prepared me for the first …Read More
“Cold Feet”
August 15, 2014
adopting again, heart defect, Jean, large families, older child adoption
After adopting 13 children you would think I have it all down to a science! But I don’t… Once again I have suffered from the feelings of “cold feet”… Am I sure that it will work out adding to this large crew that somehow seems to work well together? Was it just me that thought …Read More
To the Traumatized Family
August 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
A few days ago, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and saw a comment on a link for a ministry to traumatized children that broke my heart. An adoptive parent was asking where the ministry was for families who have been traumatized by bringing a traumatized child into their home. This is something I …Read More
Somewhere to Run
July 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
In my adoptions circles, there is a little bit of a running joke about all the things that start going wrong once a paper chase and the commitment to adopt a child (or children) begins. Somewhere along the journey to China, an adoptive parent can guarantee that an appliance…or three…will break, the car will need …Read More
Then and Now
June 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
As an adoptive parent there is definitely one thing that I stress over more than anything else. One might think it would have something to do with doctor’s appointments, hospital visits, surgeries, or something else of that nature. But those things come easily to me. I’m usually sipping my cup of coffee and enjoying my …Read More
The Best Mama
May 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
I’ll never forget the first time it happened. She threw her arms around me and exclaimed, “I love you, Mama! You’re the best mama I’ve ever had!!!” And every time it’s happened since then is carved on my heart as well. Every. Single. Time. The day I met my sweet Cora…just over a year-and-a-half ago…was …Read More
Expecting
April 15, 2014
adoption realities, heart defect, Jean, older child adoption
We just had our first grandchild! It is so exciting AND such an amazing feeling having her HERE! Our daughter talked to me every day (from Germany) before her delivery. The anticipation was riveting! When would she arrive, how would the delivery go, who would she look like? It was a happy moment when I …Read More
Completely Natural
April 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
My virtual twins are thick as thieves. And they act like an old married couple. The bond they share is amazing to behold. They actually have the same type of relationship that biological twins do. The way God has grafted their two little hearts together is most amazing. With this relationship comes lots and lots …Read More
How To Find Your Child
March 15, 2014
cognitive delay, heart defect, Jean, older child adoption
At least, this is how we found our children! We started with prayer. Prayers for strength, perseverance, guidance, grace and for the child that HE was leading us too. Once we felt God’s presence we proceeded. This is a good place to start! The NHBO site is filled with information on different special needs, parenting …Read More
Timing is everything
March 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
There’s an old saying that “timing is everything.” And it’s true. The moment at which something enters our lives does make a difference in how it is received. For better or for worse. My “baby” just celebrated his fifth birthday, which is his fourth birthday with us. This one was bittersweet to me. After nearly …Read More
Bonding Goes Both Ways
February 15, 2014
Attachment, Jean, older child adoption
The literature on children bonding to their new parents is plentiful but it falls short when it comes to the parents bonding with the child. With our first adoption I didn’t even consider it an issue. After all she was 16 months old and completely helpless. I had bonded to her before I had ever …Read More
Holidays and Celebrations
February 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
I’m not exactly what you’d call a “holiday” person. I know people who have decorations ranging from Christmas trees to pumpkins to shamrocks to pink and red hearts that they put up as the seasons rotate. Bu I’m not one of them. I’m a minimalist. The only holiday I decorate for is Christmas and that’s …Read More
My Reflection
January 15, 2014
Jean, older child adoption
God works in mysterious ways… Sometimes I don’t always understand why HE does the things HE does BUT I do know how much HE loves me and just knowing that makes me want to trust HIM even more. In the summer of 2010 God gave us a gift. It was an unexpected gift but nevertheless …Read More
One Giant Leap Forward
January 5, 2014
heart defect, older child adoption, Tara
It’s been three years and one month since I stood in the Civil Affairs building in Zhengzhou and took the sweetest boy into my arms. It was the end of 13 long months of waiting, and the love I felt for my son during all those agonizing months was nothing compared to the explosion that …Read More
waiting child highlight: older girls
January 4, 2014
Family Stories, girls, large families, older child adoption, shared list
To open your heart to a child who may or may not remember her biological parents. Or is attached to an auntie. To be bringing home a child who has already developed a personality and habits. To be bringing home a child whom you may have chosen to name after yourself (Ruthi) only to have …Read More