Do you Love me Big?

December 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian, spina bifida 2 Comments

This, is my family.

They are all pretty cute, but they also look very different.

Well, not Miss G and the Wife. They look very much alike. Everyone comments that Miss G is a miniature version of the Wife. And from what I’m told, Senior K walks, talks and behaves very much like myself.

But still, we’re all so very different.

We laugh and joke, Ping comments that she has “brown eyes” just like her Dad, since the older children all have green and blue eyes like the Wife. When Miss G is trying to bite people, we laugh and say she gets that from her Mom.

And likewise, everyone has their own “unique” ways of expressing and understanding love.

The Wife, sometimes, measures how much she is loved by the amount of Chocolate she currently has stashed away in the pantry.

Senior K would measure it in terms of Bacon. Like, do you love me as much as Bacon? Which is sometimes harder to answer than you would expect… because Bacon can smell SO good!

Big D would measure love in relation to video game systems…

Big D: Dad, do you love me?

Me: Yes, of course I do.

Big D: Do you love me like an XBox? Or a Wii?

Me: Better than that, I love you like PC gaming on STEAM!

Miss G measures love by the number of hugs, kisses and cuddles per hour. I guess it is kind of my own fault, I used to tell her when she was younger that “Dads are Hug and Kisses Powered“.

Ping measures love by distance. We used to read her the book Guess How Much I Love You when putting her to bed. As she started to grasp the idea of distances, she would start to ask, “Daddy, do you love me to Ottawa?”, then “Daddy, do you love me to Winnipeg?” Once she understood how far China was, she would ask if I loved her to China and back? I would laugh and say “Yes”. I would tell her that I loved her to the Moon and back. Unfortunately, she didn’t know where the moon was, so she countered with “Canada”.

Bing though, well, he measures love a little differently still… it started out normal enough…

Bing: Daddy, yew lub me?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you.

But then his grasp of the English language started to expand, and he started adding modifiers.

Bing: Daddy, you lub me?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you.

Big: You lub me BIG?

Me: *laughs* Yes, Daddy loves you big.

… and yet, he needed MORE love…

Bing: Daddy, you lub me?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you.

Bing: Daddy, Daddy, you lub me BIG?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you big.

Bing: Daddy, Daddy, DADDY! You lub me HUGE?

Me: *laughs* Yes, Daddy loves you huge.

… and MORE…

Bing: Daddy, you lub me?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you.

Bing: Daddy, Daddy, you lub me BIG?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you big.

Bing: Daddy, Daddy, DADDY! You lub me HUGE?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you huge.

Bing: Do you lub me SUPER BIG!

Me: *laughs* Yes, I love you super big.

… and then when I thought he was all out of modifiers, he really brought out the big guns.

Bing: Daddy, you love me like a TRUCK!?

Me: Yes, Daddy loves you like a truck.

Bing… really… likes trucks.
– BIG trucks.
– Monster Trucks.
– Cement Trucks.
– Diggers.
– Bulldozers.
– Back hoes.
– Semi-Trucks.
– etc…

This is the pinnacle of Love for him! All I’m thinking is, “Um, I don’t know if I *DO* love you like a truck! What am I supposed to say? Will YES scar him for life?” I could see him later in life crying in a psychiatric’s office “My Dad loved me like his car! *sob* Do you know how that made me feel?!” Oh well, all my kids are headed for therapy anyway…

I have told him he is loved like a truck, semi-truck, big truck, monster truck, bulldozer, digger, tank, even a shark…

… no, I’m not sure why he asked if I loved him like a shark.

It’s cute. But also somewhat sad. Because he has been with us just over a year, and he is still so very afraid that he is UN-loved. Mostly cute though. I never imagined that I would be measuring love in terms of trucks… 🙂





2 responses to “Do you Love me Big?”

  1. Stefanie says:

    When we truly love our kids, we are willing to love them in whatever way speaks to their hearts 🙂 You are a great daddy, Adrian!
    Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!

  2. Kam says:

    great post…and soooo true! 🙂

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