He Knows

May 21, 2016 adopting a boy, clubfoot, complex heart defects, Family Stories, hypospadias, PDA, waiver request 3 Comments

Who knew ​this momma – who had once upon a time envisioned life with my husband to include ​a couple of ​children, a spacious home, and (of course!) many family vacations to tropical destinations​ – would instead​ learn (​and ​daily​ re-learn)​ that the path to the​ purest​ peace and the greatest joy​ is to​ yield to God’s ​plans​ and purpose ​for my life rather than my own?​

​God ​knew.

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.”
Psalm 143:10a

Who knew ​that eight​ years ago, after ​a ​second heartbreaking ​​ultrasound of yet another lifeless, perfectly formed baby​ in the second trimester, God would conduct life-saving surgery on my heart? Who knew that I would reach the end of myself and, by His ​mercy, fall through an opening​ in the safety net of control I’d been ​residing in for so long? Who know that when I fell, I would land in the open ​Arms of Grace and become a soul surrender-er and a grace-receiver and truly, ​for the first time, ​begin to understand what it looks like​ and feels like​ to truly walk in freedom?

The One who saves knew.

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” ​Galatians 5:1

​Who knew that shortly after that season of heart refinement and soul surgery​, God would open our eyes to the reality of the orphan crisis by ​leading us​ to His Word and ​His call to us as Christians​ to love and​ care for them, and ultimately​,​​ ​open our​ hearts to ​adoption​?​

The Father to the Fatherless knew.

“God sets the lonely in families.” Psalm 68:6

Who knew that every time we’d pra​y​​ eagerly and believe we were ready to begin the process, we’d ​inexplicably lack peace ​and instead​,​ quietly tuck paperwork away only to hear ​the Lord say, “T​rust Me?” And ​who knew that during this​ exact season​ of waiting​ and praying​, a ​tiny​ ​baby boy would be born on the other side​ of the globe who was known, seen, loved, and set apart​ by ​his Abba, Father​ to become our​ son ​one day?

​The All Knowing One ​knew.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord… “to give you a future and a hope.” ​Jeremiah 29:11

Who knew that in the meantime​ there would be a season of​​ surprise and​ ​joy​ as we welcomed the birth of a new​ baby​? And​,​ only​ ​a​ short time later​,​ that there would be​ a season of gut-wrenching grief​ ​as we​ ​watched my ​beautiful mother – my children’s beloved grandmother​ – ​suffer with ​pancreatic cancer until the Lord carried​ her home​?

The ​One who is our Comforter ​knew.

“The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21b​

“He heals the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3

Who kne​w​ tha​t​​ almost exactly ​five years after our first ​prayer​ seeking God’s heart for our family with regard to ​adoption​, I would unwittingly stumble across a ​photo​ of a​ little boy​ who would steal my heart​ immediately, and I would know he was the son we had been praying for all these years​?


Joanna-2


The Faithful One knew.

“I called upon You; for You will answer me, Oh God​.​” Psalm 17:6

​Wh​o knew that ​all those​ years of​ heartfelt prayers​ and saying that we trusted God,​ we would still struggle​​ to believe? “​First of all,​ he’s in China​, Lord​.​ ​H​ow could we ever afford the ado​ption costs? ​Not to mention, we fall short of the income requirements​. ​And, by the way, we were okay with one special need but not a list that includes words we cannot pronounce or understand​. This was not the child we were expecting.​ Our hands are pretty full already, so they say. ​How will this potentially affect our other children? Are you sure? You know ​we have no idea what we’re doing, righ​t?​ Now?​??​”

​The ​Savior ​who beckons us out of the boat knew. ​​

“Don’t be afraid, just believe.” Luke 8:50​

Who knew that China allows waivers,​ and ​when we finally took that first timid step​ out onto that Ocean of Unknowns​, ​our hearts would overflow with peace?

​The Prince of Peace knew.

​”Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7​

Who knew that ​we’d desperately desire to hop on the next flight to China, that ​12 months ​could feel like 12 years, ​and that our hearts would ache for years lost and birthdays missed​? Who knew ​we’d ​have to ​learn that patience coincides with perseverance as we ​navigated trenches of paperwork, social worker visits, and adoptive parenting classes, books, and blogs?​

The One who sits on the throne knew.

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrew 4:16

Who ​knew that when God ​told us​ to have the faith of a chi​ld, He meant it? ​Who knew our kids would willingly sell the family camping trailer, lemonade​, and ​homemade ​necklaces and voluntarily hand over​ their​ humble life savings​ in eager anticipation to help bring their brother home? Who knew ​that the ​seed​s​ of faith God planted in our family woul​d ​be watered and flourish​ ​as​ He​ ​faithfully ​provided every penny​ we prayed for ​through adoption grants and the generosity ​of cheerful givers​ who answered God’s call to care for orphans?


Joanna-1


The​ ​One who ​Provid​es​ knew.

“The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:27

Who knew that ​after that long year of heart​s prepared​, funds provided, and seas parted​, ​this​ Momma, who was so confident in Christ’s calling, would quietly squirm in ​my ​seat on ​a ​China​ ​bound plane ​a​s​ the enemy of ​our soul​s ​would​ attempt to launc​h​ one last​-ditch​ sneak attack ​​on ​my​ joy ​with missiles of doubt, fear, and inadequacy​?
​ ​
The ​Voice​ of Truth ​k​new.

And we know therefore, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1

Who knew that faith causes fear of the unknown to flee, and obedience causes joy that knows no bounds? ​​And who knew our hearts would burst with love for our new son,​ and​ at the same time, we would​ wonder what we had done, all the while, traveling through China, overwhelmed with a fresh gratitude for the Gospel ​of Grace and the miracle of our own adoption as His sons and daughters through the life-saving blood work of Jesus Christ on the cross?

​The Grace Giver knew.

“For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” Romans 8:15

Who knew​ we would come home and make many trips back and forth to doctors and​ that our other children would actually enjoy tagging along with their little bro​ther​, cheering him on along the way? And who knew God would weave together a ​special and​ ​beautiful​ bond between ​one of our bio kids, who had been ​anything but ​excited​ about a new family member​, and our​ adopted son​?​

​The​ Redeemer ​k​new.

“And we​ know that in all things, God works together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28​

Who knew there would be some truly miraculous days when we’d ​marvel at God’s heart-mending work​ in our son​ and how far he’s come​,​ only to ​hit our knees the next, pleading with God ​for His patience​, ​strength​, grace, wisdom, power, mercy and peace to ​parent this child, who has been through so much in his short life, one day, one step at a time?

​The All Powerful One knew​.

“​And He said, ​’My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

​Who knew that when a well-meaning person would mention, “He’s so lucky,” we’d internally cringe ​and quietly respond, “No, no, we are the ones who are blessed,” because we know the truth of our inadequacies, and it’s only by​ God pouring out His ​grace​ upon grace​​ over us that we ​have been given the gift of parenting this precious little
one​?
​ ​
The ​Giver of every good gift ​knew.

“​For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace.​” John 1:16​

And ​who knows what will happen if there ​is a dark day ahead​ and we ​begin to sink, forgetting to look straight ahead with our eyes on Him​ for every decision, every challenge, every victory, every breath,​ and ​we ​suddenly​ find ourselves​ cr​ying​ out ​to Him in desperation?​

The One who never leaves and never forsakes knows.

“…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2

Who knows what​ the future holds, and who knows what words we will give when​ our precious son asks ​the inevitable ​questions we simply cannot answer?


Joanna-3


The ​One in Whom our identity is found knows.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me.” Psalm 14-16
​ ​
The One who is writing a beautiful story in each one of us knows.


Joanna-4


​”For I am confident of this ver​y thing, that He who began a good work in you, will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians​ 1:6

– guest post by Joanna: blog || instagram



3 responses to “He Knows”

  1. Kristen Anderson says:

    Beautiful

  2. Keri says:

    Beautiful! Thank you so much for writing this and sharing!!!!! Love you so much!

  3. Andrea says:

    Beautiful testimony to God’s LOVE for your family.

    May God bless,
    Andrea Sisler

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2019 No Hands But Ours

The content found on the No Hands But Ours website is not approved, endorsed, curated or edited by medical professionals. Consult a doctor with expertise in the special needs of interest to you.