We Could Have Missed This

November 30, 2016 Kelley B., November 2016 Feature - Then and Now 12 Comments

November is National Adoption month and a lot of us adoptive parents have been sharing pictures and a bit more about our adoption journeys on social media. For a few years now, a friend and I have chatted from time to time about how we could have missed this.

We could of missed the joy, the blessing, even the hard had we said no to adoption.

So I started using the hashtag #wecouldhavemissedthis on Instagram and Facebook and invited other adoptive parents to join in and share their journeys.

Over 1,700 post on IG alone. If you haven’t ventured onto the hashtag I invite you to do so.

With the help of some precious adoption mommas out there I put together a post to help bring awareness and to celebrate all the stages of adoption we parents experience. These women were willing to share the most vulnerable parts of their hearts. No matter the hard, no matter the struggle or the sacrifice. Adoption has brought us our children. We shutter to think #wecouldhavemissedthis.


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This was right after we met Tyson and went back to the hotel room. I had just told him, I’m your momma,” and he immediately made eye contact with me, and it gave me such a sense of recognition. I held him, an then we laid back on the bed together and just continued to look into each other’s eyes. It was seriously one of the most beautiful moments of my life. – Amy
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kelley2


We had just landed back in the U.S. from china with our new son to a huge crowd of family and friends cheering. Our new boy shut down pretty quickly after seeing the crowd of people. While we were so thrilled to be home, hearts wrecked over the children left behind at our son’s orphanage. Our new sweet boy, glazed over and shut down, his only way he knew how to cope. Our boy had his whole world turned upside down again. A new country, new smells, new people. We had vowed to keep him safe and thus started the journey of pursuing his heart for a lifetime. – Kelley
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kelley3


In adoption, there are LOTS of emotions. This one speaks to me about safety and comfort. It’s sweet and lighthearted, but that girlie in the middle was adopted at age 11. Hadleigh was featured on NHBO as “True” for Find My Family. She came into our family as the oldest sister, third oldest of ten kiddos. She relied heavily on her sisters here, Emilee and Isabella, to learn about family life, and attached to them before anyone else in the family. She is love and joy and sweetness. We are lucky to be her parents. – Brooke
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Daddy and daughter’s first moment together. Alex (my husband) was adopted domestically 33 years ago. These two formed a bond instantly…it’s like their worlds “connected” in a way only they would ever understand. Adoption comes from loss, it comes from heartache, it comes from places I (as a wife and mother) can never fully understand. Adoption to me is redemption. Adoption is healing. Adoption is love. Our lives have forever been changed through adoption. – Megan
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The moment I held my daughter for the first time after the long labor to bring her into our family, as her three siblings look on so anxious to hold her too. Our hearts were exploding over her finally being home! – Kaylyn
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Staying home from preschool day. With our kids from hard places — I have to parent differently. This wasn’t a little boy manipulating mommy to stay home to play. He really needed a day to be close, and it required me slowing down and being willing to scratch what I may have planned for the older child too. – Andrea
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I remember the days I spent praying for what I have now. – Lauren
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It doesn’t matter if you meet your baby in a hospital room or a civil affairs office, laying your eyes on them for the first time is a breath taking experience. – Jenny
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Penelope’s BaBa is a football coach. She runs out on the field to her BaBa at the end of every game while the whole stadium watches. He hugs his girl before he will talk on the radio or to the newspapers. The reporters know they have to wait, his daughter comes first. After a heartbreaking loss in the state semifinals, no one could comfort her BaBa like Penelope could. – Michelle
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kelley10


Grief is real and can present in many ways. What a child needs in those raw hurting moments is to be held, to feel safe, to know we aren’t going to stop loving them because they are out of sorts. They don’t have words to express their needs or feelings. We have to help them cope and feel loved. – Sharon
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This was taken the day after we met Lottie. As a first time Mom I was terrified of how she would bond to me and well how I would feel. Lottie never looked back, she held tightly to my arms and snuggled into my neck. I know it’s crazy to say, but it is as if she knew who we were and she wasn’t afraid. God handpicked this beauty to be our daughter as he handpicked us to be her parents. The feeling as we left the Civil Affairs office, was one of peace and as if we had been together forever. – Winn
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The trust she has built with her Daddy is so beautiful. – Amber
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We are thankful that God was able to use the hard things of adoption like loss, trauma, surgery, and pain to bring redemption and healing in our son’s life as he learned love, family, and trust from Mommy and Daddy who would always comfort and protect him. – Kasey
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k15


Upon landing in China I got the news of my 24 year old brother’s death. Full of heart ache and grief, I wasn’t quite sure how I would be able to handle adoption day. This photo was taken 1 hour after my sweet girl was placed in my arms. She had been screaming crying, in grief, for the entire hour before. On the ride back to the hotel we found a certain serenity and solace in the quiet of the moment together – just mommy and daughter. In both our hearts God placed a peace that this was Home! – Stephanie
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As an adoptive mom of an “older” child, the milestone days tend to remind me of all the days we missed. We met Jillian just a few weeks after her third birthday. A year later we celebrated her fourth birthday quietly with a {fabulous} family party. This photo was taken on her 5th birthday… at her first “friend” party. She talked about the party for weeks beforehand with great excitement. The day of the party is one I will never forget… I was brought to tears several times watching her. The road was long, seemingly unending at times. But when I see THIS child in the middle of our everyday life… I know that I would not change a thing about the “hard” in it all. – Kate
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k17


Adoption is either a crazy roller-coaster ride or a trek in the woods. So much of adoption is true and deep emotions swinging from one extreme to the other. There are times when I’ve become so emotionally distraught that I can hardly recognize myself. And there are other times when I cuddle with my boys and burst into tears because the Lord has brought us this far; they are here and they are mine. We are survivors! –Alexcis
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k18


Safety, trust, rest. Safety, trust, rest. We’ve been dancing this waltz since she was first placed in our arms, and we’ll keep dancing for as long as it takes. Proving her safety, earning her trust moment-by-moment is exhausting, but oh, the rest is sweet. – Jennifer
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This was taken the night we left the baby home for the hotel. I was in India by myself at that point with two small kids. Our sponsored “daughter” was helping calm sweet Sofia’s nerves as she had already vomited from nervousness several times that day. Her little heart was so very frightened of the unknowns. My son, Ryan, was in spazz out mode flipping around on the floor. Lots of tears from all four of us that night but our Heavenly Father wiped away every single one and gave us the courage and strength to press on day after day as he revealed his love through smiles, hugs, kisses, snuggles and hearing my daughter yell “Mama!!” instead of “Auntie”. – Natasha
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This was the first time she held my hand, yes. I was not about to let go. She will never have to worry about having a hand to hold again….I will always be there for her. – Alexis
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They asked us to leave the room that we first met her in because she was screaming so loud. And so here we stood, her cries echoing through the cold halls of the only home she had never known. She was terrified, her body rigid with fear. I was terrified. Would I ever be enough? And then, exhausted in her grief, she fell asleep. To this day, I can still close my eyes, feel her heart beating against mine and remember the overwhelming peace that came in knowing it would not be easy but we were both going to be okay. – Kaitlyn
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Every moment, every tear, every struggle disappears when she snuggles into our arms and raises her hand to gently stroke our faces. – Katie
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k24


We were both so under prepared and overwhelmed at the amount of loss in that one moment. While my heart was leaping for joy, I was holding my new broken daughter. I saw myself, for the first time, as God really sees me. He loves me, he comforts me in this broken world, yet he’s desperate to show me there’s more joy ahead if I can take a leap of faith and bravery – and just trust Him. My sweet girl is loved unconditionally and my hope is He can turn those ashes into beauty like only He can. – Natalie
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k13


She is covered by your love divine, child of the risen Lord, to hear you say: “she is mine”, her heart is spoken for. – Lauren
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KelleyNHBOSig



12 responses to “We Could Have Missed This”

  1. Amy Abell says:

    I LOVED this post!! These pictures speak volumes. I can’t believe I could’ve missed this… -Ryan Abell-

  2. Leah says:

    Our 4th and 5th are adopted through fostering. One thing I have really learned…sit and cuddle always, everything else can wait.
    Love my babies!

  3. Jane says:

    My favorite post to date!

  4. Catherine says:

    Such a beautiful post and it brings to memory moments of our own beautiful journey!

  5. Gwen H. says:

    This post is wonderful!! It didn’t take long for the tears to flow! Thanks to all the parents who shared these precious moments and pictures. ????

  6. Brett says:

    This is the beginning of a beautiful book: More hope and affirmation in this one post than my heart can hold and I can wrap my head around. Thank you to all the families for sharing these sacred journeys so that others may be strengthened and encouraged.

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