I sat down one afternoon after our decision to adopt and filled out the application and MCC. The MCC is a Medical Conditions Checklist where you check boxes of special needs that you and your family are comfortable with.
There are also boxes to fill out for age preference that range (from 0-13 years old) and… gender. There are boxes for Girl Only, Boy Only, and No Preference.
I thought about that one for about two seconds and quickly checked Girl Only. Why? Everyone has their reasons for this but mine was simple: I am a girl mom!
I have two girls. I know how girls work. I don’t do crazy, wild, running in the road, climbing on the back of the couch, boring clothes having, penis scratching boys.
Sounds pretty shallow, right?
Well, honestly, it is easy to judge someone’s choice and I’ve seen it done all too often. Do we have that right to judge that decision? No.
No matter what the reason is, we have no right to make someone’s decision seem unwarranted. There could be any number of legitimate reasons why someone would choose the gender they prefer to adopt.
Two weeks after sending in my application, my heart felt so heavy. I had officially became a part of the adoption community and immediately started seeing that there were close to 80% more boys waiting than girls. I called my agency and asked them to switch my gender request to No Preference. I knew the minute I did this that I had a very good chance of being matched with a boy.
I was right.
After my dossier was logged in, we received our first file. I didn’t even have to open it to know the answer was a resounding “yes!” I opened the picture attachments and saw him. Love at first sight.
I was… a boy mom!
We arrived home from China with our little man, Gage, in November 2013. I was smitten and things couldn’t have been going any better. Being the mother of this sweet 13 month old boy was one of the biggest blessings I have ever experienced.
Whatever I was afraid of before had flown out the window because this boy had my heart. Taking care of him was no different than taking care of my daughters except he was a little more snuggly.
One February evening I was scrolling through the Waiting Child Advocacy Page (because we all do that, right?) and I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a sweet boy’s face.
He wasn’t smiling. He had an IV attached to his hand and he looked lost.
We had only been home for three months though. Was I just emotionally hurting for these kids and wanting to bring them all home?
It was time to talk to my analytical husband. He would for sure tell me I was crazy.
He felt the connection as well, and we started researching his special need (that we were not originally open to) and filling out adoption paperwork.
I was a boy mom… again.
We arrived home from China with Gunner in November 2014. The dynamic in our family was so different. We now had two boys!
These brothers have a bond like none I have ever seen. They are complete opposites, but two-peas-in-a-pod at the same time. And now I know what the phrase “Mama’s Boy” means.
I still spent time scouring pictures of waiting children. My husband said I should un-join these groups to give myself some rest from grieving these children, but I couldn’t do it. I had prayed a few years ago and asked God very clearly to use me for His good and to break my heart for something so hard that my passion for it would not wither.
For the next few months we were very busy with Children’s Hospital visits, procedures, surgeries, an upcoming military move from TN to GA and closing on a new house. We had found a foreclosure and we were going to pretend to be Chip and Joanna Gaines and get this place looking beautiful! We got a great deal on this home in a neighborhood that we absolutely loved… everything was perfect and complete. Or so we thought.
We closed on the house in May and I saw our oldest son’s face later that same month. The fixer-upper can (and still does) wait, but our son could not!
It’s not something we jumped into right away. Older and aging-out adoption scared us and we wanted to make sure we were really up for the challenge. We researched his old friends, requested a detailed update from his orphanage, and reached out to the “Older Child Adoption” community for support.
After much prayer and preparation we knew we were being led to this. We brought home our 13 year old son Cole in March 2016. And now I am a big boy mom!
The boys have been an amazing blessing to our lives. They have undeniably changed the dynamic in our family for the better. Our boys are all completely different, have completely different needs, likes and personalities… but they are all Morgans.
The heart has an amazing way of making room just when you think you have all the love you can contain. We all come from very different backgrounds, but we have come together as one family — our own tribe. God has blessed our family in more ways than we can count because we were open to His call.
Talking about “boy adoption” is about raising awareness about the awesomeness boys have to offer a family. It’s about raising awareness that boys in Chinese orphanages wait for families while some families here in the United States wait years to be matched with a girl.
It’s not about wrong or right.
It’s all about advocacy.
Every child deserves a family, their own tribe.
Just as some special needs and certain ages need extra advocating for, boys need that extra shout out too! I choose to share and pray that through advocacy, more families will fill these needs and be open to building their tribe with boys that desperately want to be someone’s “mama’s boy”.
For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. – 1 Samuel 1:27