How To Regain Margin for Your Marriage

August 27, 2017 a father's perspective, adoption community, books, Dads, marriage, Randall 1 Comments

Randall and Kelley Nichols live in Coastal Virginia with their five kids. They’ve been in ministry for over twenty years serving couples and families. Recently they celebrated the release of their first book, Prayers of a Village, a 30-day devotional for adoptive parents. Learn more here. ….. Look… There are countless marriage resources out there. …Read More

When Enough Is Enough

July 28, 2017 a father's perspective, Dads, Randall 8 Comments

I’m not overwhelmed and throwing in the towel. Not yet. Not exactly. I really want to talk about our clawing for more. For constant progress. For trying to be the best or at least better than you are. The question I’m asking myself and I’m asking you is this: “What if exactly what you are, …Read More

What I Wish I’d Known About the Special Needs Adoption Community

July 2, 2017 adoption community, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, should we adopt? 0 Comments

My wife and I sat there staring at the computer screen. We had filled out an application to adopt a two-year old orphan with arthrogryposis from China. All that was left was to click the “send” button. That’s it. Just click that button. Our hesitation wasn’t because pressing a button was a hard thing to …Read More

What If It Ruins Everything?

June 30, 2017 a father's perspective, adopting a boy, adopting again, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Mike, should we adopt? 7 Comments

Finishing up our June Feature, Thoughts from the Dad, with a post by Mike, a former (and greatly missed) regular contributor. The last time Mike shared was during our dad series two years ago… we are so grateful he was up for sharing once again. You can read all Mike’s previous posts on NHBO here. …Read More

What I Wasn’t Prepared For

June 29, 2017 a father's perspective, adoption realities, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, rages, trauma 5 Comments

In honor of Father’s Day, the month of June is dedicated to Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… The email came in the middle of the night. Only halfway awake, I did one of those early morning …Read More

How to Leave a Legacy for Your Children

June 24, 2017 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, Randall 0 Comments

I’ll never forget it as long as live. When I was little, my family would travel from Alabama to North Georgia at the end of every summer to visit my great grandparents. My great grandfather, Wiley was his name, lived on a hillside off US Highway 27. He was the original DIYer. There was nothing …Read More

1,000 Ways to Lose a Father

June 23, 2017 birth family, Carrie, Dads, telling their life story 0 Comments

In the days after Father’s Day, I’ve been thinking… there are a thousand ways to lose a father. My youngest girl will probably never know the man who gave her the curve of her smile; the crinkle in her nose; her ability to cross her eyes to seemingly impossible degrees when she’s being silly. Truthfully, …Read More

More Than Meets the Eye

June 18, 2017 a father's perspective, adopting a boy, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, should we adopt? 1 Comments

In honor of Father’s Day, the month of June is dedicated to Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… “God is spirit and exists at the level of reality where the human heart, or spirit, also exists, serving …Read More

Thoughts from The Dad: Worth It

June 16, 2017 a father's perspective, Dads, Family Stories, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, should we adopt? 0 Comments

Welcome June! And, in honor of Father’s Day later this month, June is all about Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… What is my perspective, as a dad, on adoption? Since perspective is defined as an attitude …Read More

Adoption: A Dad’s Honest Viewpoint

June 13, 2017 a father's perspective, adoption realities, Courtney, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, parent-to-child attachment, Perspectives 4 Comments

As a part of our Thoughts from the Dad series, I sat down with my best friend and husband of 15 years and asked him a few questions about our adoption of our daughter, Callie. I hope his answers will be helpful to you whether you are just beginning the adoption journey or are already …Read More

The Most Important Job: The Making of a Father

June 9, 2017 a father's perspective, adopting a boy, adopting again, adopting as first time parents, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, should we adopt? 1 Comments

Welcome June! And, in honor of Father’s Day later this month, June is all about Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… “They’re so lucky,” I often hear, once someone learns of my two adopted boys. “You’ve given …Read More

What Every Adoptive Dad is Really Telling the World

June 2, 2017 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives 7 Comments

Welcome June! And, in honor of Father’s Day later this month, June is all about Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… Think about this… What’s a real father? Sometimes us men may not feel like a “real” …Read More

For Life: What Happened When We Killed Our Dreams

May 26, 2017 a father's perspective, ASD, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, feeding challenges, heart defect, May 2017 Feature - For Life, medical needs checklist, Randall, should we adopt? 3 Comments

Finish high school. Graduate from college. Get a job. Get married. Have a couple kids. Maybe even adopt one. Send them all to college. Celebrate their weddings. Spoil the grandkids. Retire. That’s the plan. Well… that was the plan. When I was getting ready to finish high school, I realized I had no idea what …Read More

An Unfinished Family Portrait

March 25, 2017 a father's perspective, adopting a boy, Blood Conditions, Dads, Family Stories, hemophilia, hemophilia A, March 2017 Feature - Blood Conditions, older child adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt? 2 Comments

Looking up from a pile of leaves, a young, beautiful blonde-haired college girl smiles while being kissed on the cheek by a “somewhat handsome” college-aged boy. That young, twenty-year old girl, now even more beautiful than ever, is my wife, Amber. That college kid, who has not graced the twenty years since quite as well, …Read More

How to Know When It’s Time to Adopt

January 30, 2017 a father's perspective, adopting again, Dads, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, Perspectives, pre-adoption, Randall, reluctant husband, should we adopt? 3 Comments

January last year, my wife sat across the couch from me as we do most every night. She has a way of asking a question that doesn’t leave you alone, even after you’ve answered it. The lights in the living room were dim and an episode of The Office was playing in the background. I was …Read More

The Greatest Fear of Every Dad

October 25, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Perspectives, Randall, should we adopt? 2 Comments

The morning was cool. The sounds of the city were waking up. But they hadn’t slept a wink last night. They huddled together under cover of night making the final plans for their new life. For years they’ve been overwhelmed by a life dictated by someone else’s dream. Forced to work for an ideal that …Read More

How to Find Your Tribe

August 25, 2016 a father's perspective, adoption community, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Perspectives, Randall 0 Comments

“Your people are my people, your God my God. Not even death itself is going to come between us.” Ruth 1:16-17 When we started the adoption process, we were not even considering Down syndrome. It was too scary. In fact, the irony of it, is we decided our cut-off for having bio kids was age …Read More

Lessons in Fatherhood

August 22, 2016 a father's perspective, August 2016 - Infectious, Dads, HIV, Infectious, TB testing, tuberculosis 1 Comments

While it seems like forever ago now, in reality it was only about three and a half years ago that my wife and I began praying about adoption…. Like all parents my wife and I had dreams of healthy babies, healthy incomes, and a healthy marriage. Well, after fifteen, almost sixteen, years of marriage we’ve …Read More

The Fear in Me: Adopting a Child with HIV

August 5, 2016 a father's perspective, August 2016 - Infectious, Dads, HIV, Infectious 2 Comments

I’m an accidental parent. To be more precise, I’m an accidental adoptive parent of two children with special needs. No, my two adoptive kiddos didn’t just show up one day in a basket with a note tied to it (although, I’m sure that would have cut down on paperwork and the timeline). But I never …Read More

You Can Do Hard Things

June 19, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Randall 2 Comments

About two months ago I stared at the number on the scale beneath my feet. I’d never seen a number that big before. Maybe the scale needed to be calibrated. Surely this wasn’t right. I stepped off. Calibrated it. Set a 10 pound dumbbell on it to confirm it’s accuracy. Then I stepped back on. …Read More

What Will This Do To Your Kids

February 24, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, Randall, sibling perspective 5 Comments

SHUT YOUR MOUTH We had a striking revelation the other day. When we began talking about our adoption roadmap, we had decided we would start the process when we turned thirty-five years old because women who get pregnant after thirty-five statistically have a 1 in 400 chance of having a child with Down syndrome. And …Read More

It Takes a Village: A Letter to My Husband

October 9, 2015 Amy A., Dads, marriage, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village 4 Comments

Dear Ryan, When we began dating in college, I was barely 19 years old, and you were nearly 21. While dating, we spent a lot of time holding hands and dreaming about what our life might look like together. We talked about where we would live, what our careers might be, how many children to …Read More

The Making of a Family

September 25, 2015 a father's perspective, Bryson, China trip, Dads, Gotcha Day 17 Comments

Bryson, dad to 3 year old Lydia and husband to Mandy, shared several months ago on the challenges of attachment. We loved his post so much we asked him to come back and contribute regularly. Today he shares with us a true labor of love, his documentary film of their adoption journey. I encourage you …Read More

Who Would Want a Dad Like Me?

June 30, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, Mike 15 Comments

Finishing up our June Feature, Let’s Hear it For Dads, with a post by Mike, a former (and much-missed!) regular contributor. We at NHBO enjoyed this series so much that we are working on bringing in more “dad” voices. Because dads are awesome, too. So grateful that Mike agreed to share this wit and wisdom with …Read More

Let’s Hear it for the Dads

June 29, 2015 Attachment, Dads, Mandy 0 Comments

Baba. Daddy. Dad. Your name is worthy of celebration. You are worthy of celebration.   Your name is powerful. For our children, your name means comfort, safety, strength. Perhaps you were the daddy that our child was scared of, and so lovingly and patiently, you pursued our little one. It took time, lots of time …Read More

Going Backward to Move Forward: A Dad’s Perspective on Attachment Challenges

June 23, 2015 a father's perspective, Attachment, Bryson, Dads, first year home, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 12 Comments

Of the many conversations we had with our caseworker from the adoption agency, I remember one much more clearly than the others. During this phone call, our caseworker (who, by the way, was amazing) was role playing and asking questions to help us prepare for the day we would meet our daughter, Lydia. One of …Read More

A Father’s Heart

June 21, 2015 Dads, Desiree 0 Comments

Recently, some adoption friends traveled across the earth to bring home their 5th daughter. For larger family reasons the father in the home stayed behind to man the fort, but through the magic of Facetime he got to be a part of his new daughter’s Gotchya Day, trips to the park and medical appointments in …Read More

Once a Superhero, Always a Superhero

June 18, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 0 Comments

I am an 80’s kid. I grew up watching He-Man Masters of the Universe, GI Joe, and Transformers. Growing up, the theme was always Good vs. Evil. From the Smurfs fighting Gargamel to the games we played in the backyard battling “the bad guys,” it was always about saving the ones we love. Sometimes we …Read More

To the Fathers who Lead Us… {Thank you}

June 17, 2015 Andrea Y., Dads 0 Comments

It’s not easy being a mom. And bringing home little loves through foster care or adoption adds a little twist in our mommying as we walk more tenderly through healing and hopes of attaching… as deep and strong as every mommy hopes to. But this week – I think of you… the fathers that lead …Read More

Seven Things I Learned from the Adoption Process

June 12, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, Down syndrome, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, Randall 1 Comments

Hey Dads. First of all, I know you’re probably a little scared. It’s okay. You don’t have to admit it, at least not yet. Just know that there’s somebody out there who gets what you’re going through. We’ve all felt it. Trust me, you’ll find a way to lead your family through the process. Take …Read More

I Think I Know You: A Dad’s Perspective on Adopting a Child with Down Syndrome

June 5, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 7 Comments

You don’t know me, but if you’re a dad (or prospective dad) considering adopting a child with Down syndrome from China, I think I know you. I think I was you. I know you worry about caring for a child with developmental disabilities and lifelong needs. I know you worry about health problems that are …Read More

On Being an Adoptive Dad

June 1, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, hearing loss, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, reluctant husband, Sensory System 3 Comments

June is here and as we move into a new month, we also begin a new Feature here on NHBO. In April and May our focus was on attachment. This month, in honor of Father’s Day, our focus will be… you guessed it, Dads. We are looking forward to sharing posts from adoptive dads all …Read More

What happened when Mary showed Jesus’ adoption file to Joseph

December 22, 2014 a father's perspective, Christmas, Dads, Mike, reluctant husband 4 Comments

Let me paint a picture for you. A wife comes to her husband and explains that she wants to have a child. He responds that he is not sure about the timing, but he is willing to try… or at least practice a lot. But then she explains that this isn’t that kind of child. …Read More

Dads and Adoption

August 13, 2010 Dads, Laine 0 Comments

I admit, it is very late, and I have been at a loss on what to write! So in scrolling through my pictures, I came to a very endearing shot of Kevin and his daddy. And it got me to thinkin’… I post my thoughts, my experiences, my feelings on everything from attachment in adoption …Read More

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