Our Greatest Adventure
July 8, 2019
cl/cp, Craniofacial, Family Stories, July 2019 Feature - Craniofacial, orphanage realities, speech therapy, velopharyngeal Insufficiency
A little about us – we both got married for the first time in our 40s. I think of ourselves as late bloomers. Although we both had nieces and nephews, neither of us had a lot of experience with children. So, each of us entered the adoption process with trepidation and thoughtfulness. Our process took …Read More
More Than We Ever Expected…
May 18, 2019
albinism, developmental delays, Developmental System, Family Stories, global developmental delays, older child adoption, orphanage realities, Skin Conditions
We entered into this adoption full of hopes and dreams just like most people. However, we also understood the realities, especially when adopting from China. We knew the gambles, had read all the blogs and books and articles we could get our hands on. We knew to expect the unexpected… or so we thought. We …Read More
What to Expect in China: Things We Wish Adopters of Our Little Ones Knew
March 31, 2019
March 2019 Feature - In China, orphanage realities, What To Expect
For so many brand new parents of Chinese adoptees, the time spent in China is the most anticipated and intimidating portion of the adoption process. You’re finally able to hold your child in your arms; to emotionally and legally welcome them into your family. But, well…it’s China. It’s pretty different. As we adopted our beautiful …Read More
The Other Side of the Mountain: Surviving the Death of a Child
November 4, 2018
adopting again, adoption realities, Down syndrome, Family Stories, Lifelong needs, medical expedite, orphanage realities
It was a horrible stomach flu that took us down one by one. The kids were both sick. Ken and I were horribly sick. It was one of those “fend for yourself and hope to see you on the other side” type of illnesses. When the phone rang that morning, I had no strength to …Read More
Finding A Place For Her: Parenting A Child With Delays
October 18, 2018
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, cocooning, cognitive delay, developmental delays, Developmental System, Education, Family Stories, homeschool, IEP, non-verbal, October 2018 Feature - Developmental, oral-motor delays, public school, SPED class, speech delay, speech therapy, trauma
When we brought our daughter home in the fall of of 2013 we knew she likely had significant, lifelong developmental delays. A mystery girl is how she was described to us. And still, almost five years later, she is a mystery. No real clear cut diagnoses except developmental delays and an MRI thats shows a …Read More
Trauma and the Holidays: Tips for Navigating the Holidays Well
October 15, 2018
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, cocooning, first year home, holidays, Newly Home, October 2018 Feature - Trauma and the Holidays, parent-to-child attachment, Realities, trauma
The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, right? But with a child who has experienced trauma, the holidays can be everything except wonderful. This month we are focusing on the impact of trauma and how it can be exacerbated by the chaos and busyness of the holiday season. It is our hope …Read More
Saying Yes to God
October 11, 2018
Developmental System, Down syndrome, Family Stories, October 2018 Feature - Developmental, orphanage realities
As he walked into our post delivery recovery room, he closed the door behind him. He walked over to my bedside to give us an update on the birth of our preemie twin girls. They had been born 6 weeks early and delivery was tough for Isabelle, twin two. The evening before was spent holding …Read More
A Violet Covering
October 9, 2018
adoption community, adoption realities, Developmental System, Down syndrome, October 2018 Feature - Developmental, trauma
Everyone wears a hat in life. No matter your age, race, socioeconomic status, or place you live. Some people wear their hat with pride, some wish their hat was invisible, and some of us wear hat that seems more like a sombrero and everyone can see it. There are times we have the opportunity to …Read More
The Beauty of Owning Their Own Story
October 7, 2018
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, discipline, embracing their story, homeschool, large families, questions from strangers, Sharon, siblings, telling their life story, vacation
Our family just enjoyed another week at the beach, and it was glorious. The gift of time since coming home for each of our children truly has made a difference in so many ways. We are able to help them feel safe in a vacation home and enjoy new experiences together. This particular trip gave …Read More
Trauma and the Holidays: Have No Expectations
October 3, 2018
adoption realities, Attachment, first year home, holidays, Newly Home, October 2018 Feature - Trauma and the Holidays, Realities, trauma
The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, right? But with a child who has experienced trauma, the holidays can be everything except wonderful. This month we are focusing on the impact of trauma and how it can be exacerbated by the chaos and busyness of the holiday season. It is our hope …Read More
A Heart to Heart: Explaining Attachment to a Teenager
September 25, 2018
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Kelly, orphanage realities, parent-to-child attachment, Trust Based Parenting
A similar post about explaining attachment to a younger child can be found here. Parents talk about a lot of things with other parents. You know that already. Some kids might feel a little annoyed at all the talking. That makes sense to me. If kids think their parents are talking all about them and …Read More
Riding into Adoption on a White Horse
September 24, 2018
adoption realities, Realities, Rebecca
With a pen flurry, I signed our agency application casting myself in the role of child savior. Somewhere in my well-meant thinking, it began my heroic walk to the barn of good deeds, where I grabbed my saddle. The time had come for my husband and me to mount our white horses, heading out on …Read More
Beauty from Ashes
September 17, 2018
adoption realities, attachment challenges, disruption, first weeks home, mobility issues, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, rages, trauma, wheelchair user
This is a story of trauma and beauty and tears and hopelessness and hope. This is a story of my darkest moments, my greatest growth and the resulting joy. I cannot say that this will be everyone’s story, but I’m praying that you can see the hope in this story even in the darkness. Adoption …Read More
Joke’s on Me: Fibular Hemimelia
June 21, 2018
AFO, Family Stories, fibular hemimelia, June 2018 Feature - Orthopedic, leg length discrepancy, limb difference, medical trauma, Orthopedic, referral, should we adopt?, surgery, trauma, waiting for referral
If you have adopted, you know the overwhelming process of filling out the medical needs checklist (MCC). For those that haven’t, this is a piece of paper with a wide range list of medical needs, each having little boxes beside them, and your job is to check the ones you are open to within adoption. …Read More
Our Boy Forever
June 19, 2018
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, Megan V., older child adoption, rages, trauma
The end of the school year can do crazy things to us. Make us do and say things we cringe about later, our brains and hearts a haze of goodbyes and remembering to bring sprinkles to the Kindergarten Memory Day. And then there are the days afterward, in which no one is getting enough sleep …Read More
A Particularly Bad Day
May 17, 2018
adoption realities, attachment challenges, complex heart defect, food issues, hoarding, hypervigilance, Megan V., older child adoption, orphanage behaviors, trauma
There is a constant editing process that goes on when your adoption isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It is a dance between saying enough and not saying too much. Between protecting his privacy and helping others by sharing our experiences. We’ve just celebrated Abe’s three year Family Day this week and it’s triggered stuff in …Read More
When I Feel Like a Failure at Winning
March 11, 2018
a father's perspective, adoption realities, Dads, Randall
I’m training for a half marathon. Actually, I’m starting today. And what I mean by that is, I downloaded an app today that tells me what I need to do. I look at Pins of runners and what forty-year-old dads can look like if they put in the work. I know how I want to …Read More
Their Brave and Precious Stories
March 5, 2018
adoption realities, embracing their story, telling their life story
When my biological son was 4, his arm got caught in an elevator door. Adults nearby were able to pry his arm free. No permanent damage was done, but it shook and scared him. Fast forward a few years, the same son and his older brother were in China, on an adoption trip with us. …Read More
Everyone Has A Plan
February 26, 2018
a father's perspective, adopting as first time parents, adoption realities, albinism, China trip, Dads, Family Stories, Gotcha Day, Skin Conditions
Elsie and I had very different ways of preparing for our China adoption. She spent the better part of a year setting up a nursery in our home, buying clothes, and watching other “family day” videos on Youtube. She is an optimist and a planner, which makes her the perfect counterpart to a cynical procrastinator. …Read More
A Thousand Prayers
February 19, 2018
Megan V., orphanage realities, referral, waiting to travel
Time hop on FaceBook is making me emo. Today it reminds me that four years ago today, we were separated from our baby girl by 7,000 miles and several months. That she was celebrating her birthday without us, again, and that, apparently, I thought Matilda was the perfect name for her teeny self. All these …Read More
Questions from Strangers: How in the World?
February 7, 2018
adopting again, adopting later in life, homeschool, large families, questions from strangers, Sharon
People ask all the time, “How in the world do you do what you do?” Psalm 105:1 says, “Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done.” This verse sums up exactly my response every time I’m confronted with this question. “It’s not me, It’s God!” …Read More
Glory Strength: A Gift For the Long Haul of Adoption
January 17, 2018
adoption community, adoption realities, Rebecca
You stepped up boldly in faith to adopt, so I am going to venture to say that you are strong. Probably brave too, though you might not feel it. You most likely hold it all together for a whole band of people. But, I also know that adoption is a long haul. A journey that …Read More
Afraid of the Dark
December 9, 2017
adoption realities, Brandie, first year home, Lifelong needs, Medical Momma, Newly Home, November 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption, undiagnosed SN
I was never a fan of haunted houses. I didn’t like the lack of control or the dark spaces flooded with loud, foreboding music. I didn’t like the strobe lights that gave me small glimpses of what I should fear. I didn’t like the anticipation of what was lurking around the corner, eagerly waiting to …Read More
Unintentional Twinning
December 6, 2017
December 2017 Feature - Making Room for a Sibling, developmental delays, Developmental System, siblings, speech therapy, trauma
The terms virtual or artificial twinning are common terms in the adoption world for when a family brings a child home that is born in the same year as a child already in the home. But have you heard of unintentional twinning? It’s OK if you haven’t, because as far as I know I just …Read More
Shining Light on the Dark Parts of Our Story
November 25, 2017
adoption community, adoption realities, disruption, November 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption, trauma
Disruption. It is a word that sends a chill down my spine. It’s also one with which I am all too familiar. When I heard the November focus was “Preparing for Adoption” I knew I needed to share my family’s story. I knew… and yet I hesitated because, although I don’t hide our story and …Read More
Truth
November 19, 2017
adoption community, adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, first year home, Megan V., Newly Home, rages, trauma
We are not the poster children for adoption. Our process was so different from many of the moms I followed on facebook that I shut by computer one day and walked away from it, determined to not check in again until things were going better. That resolve lasted approximately 4 days and then I was …Read More
Pulled in Two Directions
November 14, 2017
adopting a boy, adoption realities, China trip, first year home, Gotcha Day, Newly Home
The day we met our son is a day that we still remember like it was yesterday, and yet sometimes forget because it’s hard to believe that he hasn’t been with us forever. The anticipation and excitement of that moment juxtaposed with the deep grief of him saying goodbye to all he knew, his safety …Read More
It’s Okay to be the Weak One: Preparing Emotionally for Adoption
November 3, 2017
adoption realities, November 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption, post-adoption depression
I’ve always considered myself to have a pretty large capacity. I tend to lean towards challenges and I often wear multiple hats. Sure, I know my limits, but I’ve always had high expectations for what I think I can handle. So when I found myself in a deep, dark pit a couple years after the …Read More
Even Still
July 20, 2017
adoption realities, orphanage realities, Realities, Rebecca
“We must learn to realize that the love of God seeks us in every situation, and seeks our good.”
- Thomas Merton Sometimes things just don’t make a bit of sense.
Sometimes, often actually, God allows things to happen that I don’t get.
Sometimes, in the story, rules change, and I’m confused.
Sometimes, in …Read More
In Grief and Joy: Why We Need Each Other
July 14, 2017
adoption community, adoption realities, Attachment, Kelley B., parent-to-child attachment, trauma, Uncategorized
“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued – when they can give and receive without judgment.” – Brene’ Brown …… Long after the helium in the balloons from the airport homecoming is gone; long after the meal train has dried up, the cocooning has subsided, and …Read More
What I Wasn’t Prepared For
June 29, 2017
a father's perspective, adoption realities, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, rages, trauma
In honor of Father’s Day, the month of June is dedicated to Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… The email came in the middle of the night. Only halfway awake, I did one of those early morning …Read More
Adoption Is…
June 15, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, Megan, orphanage behaviors, rages, rejects mom, self-harming, trauma
I would like to begin this post by saying that I understand my experience with my son and his adoption is by no means universal. Every child and family is different. While some issues may resonate with certain people, with others they may not. This post is not meant to be an exclusive or all …Read More
Adoption: A Dad’s Honest Viewpoint
June 13, 2017
a father's perspective, adoption realities, Courtney, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, parent-to-child attachment, Perspectives
As a part of our Thoughts from the Dad series, I sat down with my best friend and husband of 15 years and asked him a few questions about our adoption of our daughter, Callie. I hope his answers will be helpful to you whether you are just beginning the adoption journey or are already …Read More
My Hero
May 15, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, cerebral palsy, first year home, Megan, Newly Home, orphanage realities, self-harming, trauma
My hero is tiny but larger than life. Tan skin, black hair and the most beautiful dark chocolate eyes you have ever seen. He is 33 inches tall and weighs 33 pounds. A perfect little pint of goodness. A little over a year ago, at age three, he left a cold gray building with my …Read More
So Thankful: Thoughts From A Big Sister
May 8, 2017
adoption realities, sibling perspective, siblings
As I sit here thinking how much my life has changed over the past five years I am flooded with so many thoughts and emotions. As a fifteen year old there are many things I have experienced that so many never will. I have seen firsthand the amazing change in my three siblings from orphan …Read More
On Bundling Babies and Snap Judgments
April 29, 2017
Carrie, Chinese Culture, orphanage realities, orphanage visit
The day we were set to leave the hospital with our newborn daughter, no one asked us about our car seat. She was our first baby, and so I didn’t understand at the time how significant this insignificant thing would become to me. At the time, I didn’t realize that had she been born on …Read More
Love Stories: My Happily Ever After
April 19, 2017
adoptee perspective, April 2017 Feature - Love Stories, birth family, foster care, older child adoption, orphanage realities, telling their life story
We are so quick to fill in the blanks, aren’t we? We get one part of a story, and we use our imagination to complete the rest. But it’s too simplistic to do that with the care of orphaned children halfway around the world… to see an image and create a tragic narrative, hear a …Read More
From Death to Life
April 18, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Attachment Disorder, indiscriminate affection, older child adoption, parent-to-child attachment, rages, rejects mom, therapy, trauma
I glanced at the clock. It was 2:50. I felt my shoulders tighten involuntarily and a sick feeling start in my stomach. In 15 minutes, the most difficult part of my day would start: my daughter would walk through the door. It was the part of the day I dreaded the most. I wasn’t an …Read More
Deeper Than My Feet Could Ever Wander
April 15, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, first weeks home, first year home, Megan, parent-to-child attachment
“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” – Hillsong I am sure that many of the readers of this post …Read More
Love Stories: Remembered
April 10, 2017
April 2017 Feature - Love Stories, China trip, Gotcha Day, orphanage realities, Uncategorized
We are so quick to fill in the blanks, aren’t we? We get one part of a story, and we use our imagination to complete the rest. But it’s too simplistic to do that with the care of orphaned children halfway around the world… to see an image and create a tragic narrative, hear a …Read More
Love Stories: Underneath are the Everlasting Arms
April 7, 2017
April 2017 Feature - Love Stories, foster care, Little Flower, NGOs, orphanage realities
We are so quick to fill in the blanks, aren’t we? We get one part of a story, and we use our imagination to complete the rest. But it’s too simplistic to do that with the care of orphaned children halfway around the world… to see an image and create a tragic narrative, hear a …Read More
This is Us, Adoptive Families
March 23, 2017
adoption realities, Rebecca
I am thankful for my family. I’m thankful that we’re all safe
and there’s no one in the world that I’d rather be too hot or too cold with. – Jack Pearson, This is Us Time’s been storytelling with us. Our family life is a sitcom and a drama. Our script has been sweet and …Read More
Three Simple Words
March 12, 2017
adopting a boy, adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, Central Nervous System, cerebral palsy, cocooning, Family Stories, older child adoption, rejects mom
We often hear the term “leap of faith”. Three simple words. Saying these three simple words is easy, but truly living them out is a different story. My husband and I always joke with each other saying that nothing in our lives comes easy or goes as planned. We are okay with this, because what …Read More
This Is What I Know
March 3, 2017
adoption realities, Whitney
This is what I know… I know that time doesn’t heal all wounds. I know that, sometimes, intentionally seeking out help is necessary. I know looking different isn’t a bad thing. I know that hearing a word of encouragement has more impact than I dreamed it could. I know adoption can be hard. I know …Read More
It Shouldn’t be This Easy
March 2, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, Kelly, parent-to-child attachment, trauma, Trust Based Parenting
You spent hours in training. You learned about what trauma is and what it looks like. You probably even have a certificate to prove it. You spent more hours in another type of classroom, reading books that made you stop and catch your breath and blog posts that made you question what you were signing …Read More
It Shouldn’t be This Hard
March 2, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, Kelly, parent-to-child attachment, trauma, Trust Based Parenting
You spent hours in training. You learned about what trauma is and what it looks like. You probably even have a certificate to prove it. You spent more hours in another type of classroom, reading books that made you stop and catch your breath and blog posts that made you question what you were signing …Read More
The Anniversary Blues and Saying Yes All Over Again
February 3, 2017
adoption realities, Whitney
For those of us on Facebook, the Facebook Memories pop-up might just be one of the favorite parts of having an account. It’s fun to see what happened on “this day, X number of years ago.” Sometimes the memories make me giggle, like the picture of my third child sitting in the dishwasher. Sometimes that …Read More
Adopting a Child with Unpredictable Special Needs
January 31, 2017
adoption realities, bronchiectasis, dysphagia, Family Stories, medical needs checklist, referral, swallow study, undiagnosed SN
When you visit a carnival, some rides are very predictable. The frog hopper, bumper cars, flying elephants, and even the tea cups come with a high level of predictability. You hand over the ticket and, with almost 100% certainty, you can foresee what the outcome of the ride will be… steady, smooth, and timely. Then …Read More
The Skating Rink
January 25, 2017
adoption realities, Andrea Y., Attachment, attachment challenges, cocooning, large families
We walked out of church — baby in the arms of daddy… a few bigs walking behind him and I trailed behind with my two little loves born across the ocean with their hands folded in mine. We jumped in the van — and out of no where I just said, “Who wants to go …Read More
The Nativity
December 11, 2016
adoption realities, Amy A., birth family, Christmas, telling their life story
Christmas. The word alone evokes so many memories, so many emotions from my childhood. Smells, tastes, laughter, and songs fill my mind, and the little girl inside me can feel the excitement and anticipation of Christmas drawing near. I can close my eyes and remember the sprinkles upon sprinkles being poured over sugar cookies doused …Read More