1,000 Ways to Lose a Father

June 23, 2017 birth family, Carrie, Dads, telling their life story 0 Comments

In the days after Father’s Day, I’ve been thinking… there are a thousand ways to lose a father. My youngest girl will probably never know the man who gave her the curve of her smile; the crinkle in her nose; her ability to cross her eyes to seemingly impossible degrees when she’s being silly. Truthfully, …Read More

“I Remember!”

June 12, 2017 adoptee perspective, Jean, telling their life story 3 Comments

When we leave China with our newly adopted children, we leave part of their history behind. Oftentimes, it’s a black hole and we will never know the details about their lives before we met them. Any tidbit of information from another adopting family, a picture, a single moment they may remember, is a treasured gift. …Read More

Love Stories: My Happily Ever After

April 19, 2017 adoptee perspective, April 2017 Feature - Love Stories, birth family, foster care, older child adoption, orphanage realities, telling their life story 4 Comments

We are so quick to fill in the blanks, aren’t we? We get one part of a story, and we use our imagination to complete the rest. But it’s too simplistic to do that with the care of orphaned children halfway around the world… to see an image and create a tragic narrative, hear a …Read More

Survivor’s Guilt

December 16, 2016 adoptee perspective, adult adoptee, Perspectives, protecting their story, telling their life story 1 Comments

One question that plagued me into adulthood was this; “Why was I one of the lucky ones?” After visiting China and seeing many children in poverty or abandoned and in orphanages, thinking about the ones who wouldn’t make it because of sickness or because of a broken system that can’t care for it’s own children, …Read More

The Nativity

December 11, 2016 adoption realities, Amy A., birth family, Christmas, telling their life story 2 Comments

Christmas. The word alone evokes so many memories, so many emotions from my childhood. Smells, tastes, laughter, and songs fill my mind, and the little girl inside me can feel the excitement and anticipation of Christmas drawing near. I can close my eyes and remember the sprinkles upon sprinkles being poured over sugar cookies doused …Read More

From an Adoptee With Love

December 9, 2016 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, adult adoptee, Perspectives, protecting their story, telling their life story 1 Comments

I just recently entered the world of adoptive family forums and Facebook groups and am amazed at the number and the commitment of adoptive parents who would do anything to protect, and give the best life possible to their children. As an adult adoptee from China, I’ve “met” parents who have shared their stories with …Read More

Thoughts from an Adult Adoptee: Two Sides of One Coin

July 23, 2016 adoptee perspective, adult adoptee, Perspectives, protecting their story, telling their life story 10 Comments

Hello Readers, I am new here at guest posting on No Hands But Ours. First, let me introduce myself. My name is Parrie Liu and I am a Chinese adoptee. Since the age of almost four, I have lived in Texas with a loving family. Currently, I am attending university and pursing a degree in …Read More

Letter to my Chinese Birthmother

July 12, 2016 adoptee perspective, adoption realities, adult adoptee, Perspectives, telling their life story 1 Comments

Ni Hao and hello! I’d like to introduce myself. I am the Happy Panda from Europe. I was adopted when I was two from Sichuan. I am now 24 years old and just graduated as a social worker. I studied social work and during the lessons we learned to create/stimulate awareness. My goal is to …Read More

Why We Won’t Be Seeing Finding Dory on the Big Screen

June 23, 2016 birth family, Kelly, movies, telling their life story 41 Comments

*updated to add: due to the wide readership of this post, and the resulting comments, a follow-up post can be found here. Debuting on the 17th, Finding Dory has blown box office records out of the water, making its debut the highest grossing one for animated movies ever. It’s as if the crowds have been …Read More

Her History Matters

February 11, 2016 Amy, protecting their story, telling their life story 1 Comments

We have been highlighting ideas for ways to honor Chinese heritage while celebrating Chinese New Year (and Chinese holidays). I have some goals as the mother of a four year old Chinese daughter. I hope to have a dumpling making day with our family and extended family and feast on homemade dumplings, and oranges, and …Read More

When Grief Comes – Thoughts from a Mother’s Heart

January 17, 2016 Andrea Y., siblings, telling their life story 0 Comments

In four months, we will find ourselves at the hospital to bring home another baby. Baby #6. Oh I’m beside myself and can’t wait. I never thought we would have another biological baby at my age, but our sweet surprise and after 3 biological children and 2 adoptions has been quite buzz and brought much …Read More

Telling the Story: Theirs, Mine and His

November 26, 2015 November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

I realize now that when we first brought our children home, I had an undefined, but deeply felt and well-meant desire. However, I have also realized that my desire was not exactly what God had in mind. Let me explain. I wanted our adopted children to be so loved, so secure, so encompassed in the …Read More

Embracing Their Story: Going Back

November 23, 2015 adoptee perspective, embracing their story, heritage trip, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, orphanage visit, telling their life story 0 Comments

Their story with us didn’t start at the beginning. I think we jumped in around chapter 3 or 4. Much like opening a book midstream and trying to piece together a plot, our adoptions began with many unanswered questions and many holes that I knew we could never fill. Yet at some point, I knew …Read More

Embracing Her Story: Gracie

November 22, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

Embracing Her Story: Sarah

November 20, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, Jean, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, older child adoption, telling their life story 0 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

When Tragic Pasts Meet Hopeful Futures

November 19, 2015 birth family, Katie, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

Our children have stories that are a paradox of tragedy and beauty, of despair and hope. There is no easy answer to their stories. It’s complicated and so the way we handle it is complicated, and ever evolving. Children are beautiful. They are full of hope and they believe in miracles. They believe in unicorns, …Read More

Embracing Their Stories

November 15, 2015 Jean, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 0 Comments

Thirteen children and thirteen stories, each different but with a common adoption thread. As we brought our children home there were other things (many things) to focus on. We needed to get to know each other, like each other, and eventually love each other. We needed to learn how to live as a family. On …Read More

Embracing Her Story: Ellie

November 12, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

You Came Home on an Airplane

November 11, 2015 Amy, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 0 Comments

I remember talking with our social worker almost four years ago about things that would come up in conversation with our adopted child someday; more specifically – “what will you tell her about how she came to be yours?” At the time we were 9 months away from receiving her referral, therefore we didn’t know …Read More

Embracing Their Story: This is My Daughter

November 5, 2015 birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 9 Comments

“Ma’am! Ma’am! You are forgetting your baby!!!” The Disney store clerk could not have been more panicked in her sincere guttural cry for this family to come back and retrieve their beautiful Asian daughter that they had so clumsily left behind. Just as primal was the sound that came from my throat as I realized …Read More

Bootiful

December 9, 2013 birth family, Nancy, protecting their story, telling their life story 1 Comments

Tess: I remember my first mama. My mama in beitnam. Me: Oh you do? Tess: She looked like an angel, but she didn’t have any wings. She wore a white dress, and she was bootiful. Me: I imagine that your Vietnam mama was very beautiful, just like you. Tess: And I love her. And at …Read More

Light Brown Hair :: Dark Brown Hair

September 9, 2013 birth family, Nancy, telling their life story 6 Comments

I was putting Tess’s hair into pig tails, getting her ready for school and tying bows in her piggies. We live in a Caucasian community bombarded with messages about what beauty is, and in its absence what it is not, in every magazine, billboard, and television commercial. I figure I need to counter balance the …Read More

Identity Crisis

November 17, 2012 embracing their story, Kelley, older child adoption, telling their life story 6 Comments

Last night, my husband and I joined about 180 folks from our city of Birmingham to view the documentary Somewhere in Between, a film that follows four Chinese girls adopted into American families. The movie articulates their challenges with feeling neither completely Chinese, nor totally American. The girls, now in their teens, conclude that they …Read More

An Adoptee’s Reflection on the First Year Home

July 20, 2012 adoptee perspective, first year home, Kelley, Newly Home, older child adoption, telling their life story 5 Comments

On June 27th, our family celebrated our 13-year-old’s first “Gotcha Day” anniversary. As I was writing out my thoughts that day to share on my personal blog, I wondered what might be going on in Caroline’s head as she reflected back over the last 12 months. I explained my blog to her and asked if …Read More

The Photo

April 25, 2010 older child adoption, telling their life story 7 Comments

There is a picture on my computer. In it, a man holds two little girls. His head is bowed, his right hand lifted toward the sky, his left arm wrapped firmly around his charges. The girls are squirming bundles of energy. A matched pair, they look to be identical twins. The photo can’t hide their …Read More

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