What Happens?

Special needs sound so scary to many. And truthfully, the known special needs can be pretty overwhelming. But what if there is some unknown special need? Something that isn’t discovered until your child is home?

One of the main purposes of this blog is to advocate for special needs kids and talk truthfully about special needs. So what does happen when a surprise diagnosis comes up? As a mom to a few special needs kids, this last week we found ourselves in that exact situation. A surprise life-changing diagnosis!

For starters, we look back now rather dumbfounded…how was it that we didn’t figure it all out sooner or even just suspect that our newest daughter was hearing impaired? {Of course, in our defense, the truth is that for 8 years while Jubilee lived in China no one else seemed to have a clue either!} We just didn’t put two and two together at all.

Not that knowing Jubilee was hearing impaired would have changed anything. It wouldn’t have. She was ours from the moment we saw her little face on the agency website. BUT still. A surprise is a surprise and having a daughter who is hearing impaired definitely means a “new normal”.

So what did we do when we learned of this surprise diagnosis? What would you do? How did we feel? How are we processing it all? What does it mean?


Jubilee with little sis Elizabeth {they think they are twins!}

Here’s what we have found so far……..the moment we learned that Jubilee was hearing impaired – our love for her grew exponentially. No kidding. We feel we could not love her anymore. Since we came home on December 24th the bonding process had been ever-so-slowly moving forward…but suddenly it sped to completion. Our hearts knit with hers in a deeply profound way. We were amazed that in one incredible instant a few words spoken by an audiologist and everything completely changed. Jubilee is ours. She needs us. She’s counting on us. It is almost unexplainable.

We are so thankful for this breakthrough. Jubilee needed us to know that she could not hear us talking. She needed us to know that the reason she was not learning English was because she was only reading our lips and how could she read our lips when she doesn’t know English? We had no way of knowing. She had no way of telling.

We cannot thank the Lord enough for doctors, tests, and yes, even for a surprise diagnosis. It knit us together as a family even more than we already were….it made us determined to work together so that Jubilee understands God’s deep love for her just the way she is.

It will all be okay. The Lord has always been faithful to us. He’s not about to forget us now. Infact we are confident that He has been working behind the scenes on Jubilee and our behalf to prepare our entire family for this. We are taking one day at a time and one decision at a time and He will be faihfully walking by our side each step of the way.

Comments

  1. We met you in Guangzhou! We rode the bus sitting near you to our CCAA appointment. Jubilee tugged at my heart strings the moment I saw her. She seemed so eager to please and learn. Glad to see she is doing well and that her forever family is embracing her! I love the 'twins!'

  2. The Wanderers' Daughter says:

    Exactly. So true. And what if one were to give birth to a child with an unknown special need? Thanks for your beautiful words.

  3. Wife of the Pres. says:

    Stefanie, on a side note, we need a section on NHBO with practical info. for resources for various SNs. What do you think???

    You know, things like signing times DVDs and starfall for sign language and that book you shared. But in a tab, all in one place. Translators for older child adoption … websites with practical ideas … etc.

    OK, as if you don't have enough to do! HA! I could help if you wanted. We could add to it as we go along. :)

  4. Wife of the Pres. says:

    Linny, Thank you for sharing! I don't understand why the children whose SN is deafness (listed) wait so long … but they do! Speaking from my own personal standpoint, the only thing I can figure is fear of the unknown. We did not choose that SN as one we felt open to … but now that S is home and she is hearing-impaired, it seems like such a non-issue. Of course, like you said, we as Mommas and Daddies need to KNOW but once we know … OK, now we can move forward with this in mind.

    I highly recommend Signing Times DVDs and Starfall.com has a great section teaching ABCs in signs! In fact, that is how S and I have learned them!!! These are just some things you could use right away if you wanted! Again, thanks for sharing.

    Oh and the pic of your twins cracks me up!!!! Did they switch their shoes on purpose–that is too precious!!! Of course they think they are twins–why wouldn't they???!!!

  5. Such a beautiful post. Such a beautiful little girl. Continued blessings to your amazing family.

  6. Goodness and Mercy Mom says:

    So beautiful how God placed Jubilee into your family. A family that will love her, not in spite of her need, but even more because of it. With siblings who don't need language to make her feel loved and cherished. With a Creator who perfectly made her with needs that would tug on the hearts of a dear family in Colorado. A family with the courage to say "you are mine, no matter what."

    May God give you peace and wisdom and strength as you advocate for your very special little girl.

    Much Love,
    Kathie

  7. There are several of us who read here that have had that exact same experience. On one hand, it doesn't chnage anything, & on the other hand, it changes everything & as you said becomes a new normal. Please let me know if you need any information or just need to "chat"…
    http://www.landjupdates.blogspot.com

  8. Sweet Jubilee.
    What a blessing you were able to find out she can't hear you… now to make a way for her to HEAR :)
    So wonderful to hear that God has used her disability to melt your hearts completely for Jubilee… He is an AWESOME God!!

  9. Your love for Jubilee just makes me cry. What a precious little girl – what a blessing that she has you for her family :)

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