Single, 30 and About to be Mom to a 3 Year Old Boy

December 9, 2016 adopting a boy, adopting as a single mom, adopting as first time parents, Adopting Scenarios, December 2016 Feature - Adopting a Boy 2 Comments

In October 2015, I was beginning to think about pursuing adoption through foster care or international adoption. I was single, and I wasn’t completely sure it was the right time, but I had a full time job, a house, a car, and it seemed like I would be ready “soon”.

I started poking around for information about fostering to adopt and adopting internationally. After seeing the profile of a little boy on a waiting child page, I contacted a local adoption agency for more information. Initially I was told since I wasn’t 30 years old yet, I’d have to wait to be matched to a child, but I could submit my information and medical conditions checklist to get “in line” to review files when I turned 30.

Funny how our plans don’t always fall into place the way we think!

In December 2015, the CCCWA changed its law about having to be 30 to be matched with a child. Instead, you could be matched with a child before 30 as long as the child was considered to be “special focus” and your dossier, or paperwork, would be submitted to the CCCWA when you turned 30. This meant that you could start the process and be matched starting at 29.5.

On January 12th 2016, I got the phone call.

CCAI had the file of a little boy who was turning three on that very day. His medical needs fit what I had marked on my medical conditions checklist, and they wanted to know if I’d be interested in reviewing his file.

Mind spinning, I agreed. I could always say no, right?

The email popped up in my inbox, and I found myself in my car looking at this little face on my phone.

Don’t get attached, I told myself.

Not being able to say yes or no until I felt at peace, I consulted with an International Adoption doctor, and talked it over with family members. I even talked it over with the chiropractor’s secretary and people at work (I’m sure they all thought I was crazy).

I went back and forth – maybe I should say no? I could be a bit more financially stable first. I was single. What if his special needs were too much for me, as a single mom, to handle?

I didn’t feel at peace with yes or no. Then I didn’t feel at peace with no.

I said yes.

I had marked “either gender” on my MCC. I wasn’t aware at the time how many boys there were waiting for families. I didn’t realize that most people didn’t realize there were boys at all, or that the majority of families adopting both domestically and internationally want girls. At times, agencies will have 1-2 families willing to consider a boy, and 40-50 waiting for 2-3 years for their turn to adopt a girl.

Boys are awesome. Boys are sweet. Boys are so much fun.

I hope to travel to bring my little guy home within the next month or two. His room is ready. Clothes are folded and put away. Two semi-packed suitcases are under the bed in his room.

I’m so ready, and I can’t wait!

(And maybe, just maybe, a little brother from China will be in his future.)

– guest post by Alicia

2 responses to “Single, 30 and About to be Mom to a 3 Year Old Boy”

  1. Gwen H. says:

    Alicia, thanks for sharing your story. I’m so happy for you, and do hope that will travel very soon to bring your son home. He is adorable and has a precious smile! Congratulations!

  2. Alicia says:

    I would love if someone from NHBO could have Alicia (name twin!) post an updated version of this since she has her son now!

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