Perfectly Made

April 9, 2013 clubfoot, developmental delays, Education, IEP, Nancy, public school 1 Comments

Dear IEP team members,

As the mama to the little girl that we just spent over an hour talking about, I want to say more than our 60-minute time slot allowed.

IEP meetings are hard.

{That may be the understatement of the year.}

They suck.

For a parent, sometimes it feels like IEP meetings are a laundry list of how your child isn’t meeting standards.  They can be an in-your-face reminder of all the ways your child can’t fulfill expectations in comparison to her peers.  They are a meeting, (with the same people in your child’s life that form and mold her future,) that tell you all the ways she is falling short and can’t progress without their help.  For a mama, they can feel like fear and failure and stress in the guise of help and assistance and support.  For parents, these meetings might involve trying to wing it and not knowing quite what you need to say in the midst of a panel of experts with rehearsed scripts and far more practice than you.  They are bi-annually reminders of how far we we’ve come with a much larger emphasis on how far we still must progress.  They involve a plan to work twice as hard for things that come easily to the rest.  They rehash the hurdles and surface the tears.  They are a whole team of folks that again articulate the struggles and how things don’t quite fit.  The are too frequently a car ride home with mama tears and worry and wondering how all the dreams fit into such a plan.  Sometimes IEP meetings are like a search for more options when we know there are few.

To those of you who nodded in agreement with a too much vigor about her lack of progress… for those who might have made a slightly exasperated sigh that we were suppose to hear but weren’t suppose to not notice… please know that our daughter is perfectly made.  Perfectly made.  If you possibly looked at us like we don’t quite get it, know that not only do we get it, but we get so much more than you could ever understand.  We get what’s truly important… that she is perfect just the way she is.  Know that there is not only immense pride in raising a “special” daughter, but we wouldn’t change a single step in her journey.  It has created the amazing, wonderful, incredible child before you.  Her journey has proven her strength and her tenacity like no other.  And it has shown the full force of God’s amazing love, grace, and huge power to transform the most broken and the least of these.

Her father and I want you to know that our girl is so much more than a diagnosis and a list of symptoms.  She is more than the words we describe her with.  She IS special.  She is literally divine.  She is a child of the King.  She is perfectly made in His image.  And heaven aside, she is perfectly made in our hearts too.

We thank you immensely for the care and guidance you give our daughter.  We know that you have not only imparted so much knowledge and many skills to her, but have generously given your time and most importantly your care and love to our treasure.  And for that we are so very thankful.  You are another blessing to both her and us.  But there is so much more to her than what you see and what you think you know.  We will take your words and IEP suggestions in to consideration.  But we we also take our love and the proof that transformation is possible.  We will take the amazing support of our family and those that love her, and the inner core of who she is and where she has come from, and all that she has already over come in to consideration as well.  And we will consider our goals and hopes and dreams for our daughter to decide what path to follow… goals that extend far beyond an IEP.


her mother.

bw tess



One response to “Perfectly Made”

  1. DeEtte says:

    As one who has sat on both sides of the table at IEP meetings (special ed teacher and mama to kiddos with IEP’s)…my heart screamed “yes! This is it!” beautiful.

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