Past Contributor Throwback: Nancy
September 30, 2017
Nancy, Past Contributors, Throwback series
Since our inception in 2008, No Hands But Ours has relied on the shared stories of regular moms and dads as our foundational way to encourage, inform and support those in the adoption world – in any phase of the adoption process. And since our first post, the list of regular contributors has changed, well… …Read More
Our Favorite Feet
June 26, 2017
clubfoot, Family Stories, June 2017 Feature - Orthopedic, Nancy, Orthopedic
Jude is amazing. He’s taken everything in stride, and I think he even has a bit of pride about his scars, that sense of I did this and not only am I okay, but I’m better and I love who I am! And, of course, I can’t disagree with him. He is awesome and a …Read More
Bootiful
December 9, 2013
birth family, Nancy, protecting their story, telling their life story
Tess: I remember my first mama. My mama in beitnam. Me: Oh you do? Tess: She looked like an angel, but she didn’t have any wings. She wore a white dress, and she was bootiful. Me: I imagine that your Vietnam mama was very beautiful, just like you. Tess: And I love her. And at …Read More
Part II {Genetic analysis: to test or not to test}
October 9, 2013
birth family, developmental delays, DNA and genetic testing, Nancy
{Part I, Dark brown hair, Light brown hair is here} It’s discussed pretty regularly in the adoption community. To test or not to test. Now just to make sure we’re all on the same page here, I’m not talking about genetic testing as advised by your doctor for medical reasons. I’m talking about genetic analysis …Read More
Light Brown Hair :: Dark Brown Hair
September 9, 2013
birth family, Nancy, telling their life story
I was putting Tess’s hair into pig tails, getting her ready for school and tying bows in her piggies. We live in a Caucasian community bombarded with messages about what beauty is, and in its absence what it is not, in every magazine, billboard, and television commercial. I figure I need to counter balance the …Read More
Food issues and binging 5 years later
July 9, 2013
binging, developmental delays, early intervention, feeding challenges, feeding/swallowing therapy, food issues, hoarding, Nancy
Feeding a child is deeply rooted within us mamas. It’s almost beyond maternal and instinctual. It’s a part of what we do, and right or wrong, it’s a part of how we measure our success. And when it didn’t go according to plan, it affected me much more than I could have imagined. Being a …Read More
Living with attachment issues long term
May 9, 2013
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, developmental delays, Nancy, parent-to-child attachment
I tell people all the time, especially when we’re knee deep in discussions about adoption or attachment issues. Ya know, some kiddos just don’t handle institutionalization well. Some come out of it just fine. Some go straight to their new family and never look back with smiles and enthusiasm. And others, like our sweet thing, …Read More
Perfectly Made
April 9, 2013
clubfoot, developmental delays, Education, IEP, Nancy, public school
Dear IEP team members, As the mama to the little girl that we just spent over an hour talking about, I want to say more than our 60-minute time slot allowed. IEP meetings are hard. {That may be the understatement of the year.} They suck. For a parent, sometimes it feels like IEP meetings are a laundry list of how …Read More
Adoption from an Older Sibling’s Perspective
February 9, 2013
Nancy, Perspectives, sibling perspective
This post is written by Livy, my 16-year-old amazing daughter. She traveled with us both on our first adoption trip to Vietnam to get her now 5 year old brother and sister, Jude and Tess. And 10 months ago to China to get her new baby sister, Mimi, who is 2 years old. All three …Read More
The Best Christmas Present Ever
January 11, 2013
developmental delays, early intervention, Education, IEP, Nancy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, public school, speech delay, speech therapy
I stood in the back of Tess’s kindergarten classroom with the other proud parents and looked on as my 5-year-old daughter performed in the class’s “holiday show”. Her part was a simple song with just a few lines and hand movements to go with it. She didn’t know all the hand movements… just like the …Read More
The Visit
October 25, 2012
China trip, foster care, Nancy, orphanage visit
I’ve had occasion to look at the photos from the day we visited Mimi’s orphanage. Due to a computer snafu, I hadn’t seen these pics for quite a while. I’m not sure where God is leading me in this little trip down memory lane. Certainly there is something to be learned by seeing them and …Read More
Dear Random Shopper in the Check-out Line
September 25, 2012
adoption realities, Nancy, protecting their story, questions from strangers
I see you. And my children see you watching them. And even though you have a smile on your face, you are still drawing attention to us. I totally get it. You see, I used to be just like you! I’d see a family that looked a bit… hmmmmm… what’s the right way to put …Read More
What loss looks like four decades later
August 25, 2012
clubfoot, developmental delays, Nancy
When I was two years old… …my mom left. When Tess and Jude were 12 months old, they were taken from the only home they knew. When Mimi was 23 months old, she was taken from the only mama she knew. So how do we process not being chosen? I don’t remember any of those …Read More
A letter to my {pre-adoption} self
July 25, 2012
adopting again, adoption realities, Nancy, Realities
Dear Nancy (in 2007) I know you’ve just started to seriously consider adopting a child. I know that the thought of adopting has been on your mind not just years, but since you were a little girl and heard about the abandoned baby girls in China and saw videos of the Romanian orphanages. So I …Read More
BABY STEPS
June 25, 2012
clubfoot, developmental delays, Nancy
It was 9 am, and I was still in my jammies. Everything seemed stable, everyone fed, playing nicely, so I stole a moment to get dressed and splash my face with water… or at least I tried to. Mid-pulling up my pants I heard the shrieking. Tess’s shriek is unmistakable. It’s a guttural wounding, and …Read More
Our Early Intervention
May 25, 2012
clubfoot, developmental delays, early intervention, Education, feeding/swallowing therapy, Nancy, occupational therapy, speech therapy
Our girly qualified for Early Intervention services. Our sweet lovely amazing daughter is delayed. I don’t want it to be that way. But it is. And it’s no surprise either. We went into international adoption with our eyes wide open, preparing for the worst and praying for the best. Her delays were completely expected. There’s …Read More
Attachment in the Trenches
April 25, 2012
Attachment, attachment activities, baby-wearing, China trip, co-sleeping, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, Nancy, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, travel tips
When we were in China, we traveled with several other families. In our travel group, I don’t think I’m exaggerating by saying that we had “the crier.” Unlike the other happy, giggly children in the group who were quick to return their parent’s smile, our sweetie was unhappy much of the time. Despite our efforts, …Read More
Re-entry
March 26, 2012
adoption realities, Journey to Mazie, Nancy
In the middle of the night, between the screeching and the pinching and the hitting… …the sweetest moments happen. Since coming home, Mazie and I have been awake 4-6 hours every night with only 1 exception. In the middle of the night while we sit on the couch, without knowing it, my head falls backwards, …Read More
March 8, Thursday: {the orphanage visit}
March 9, 2012
Journey to Mazie, Nancy
There is so so much to say. I am emotionally drained and still trying to find my peace. Today was the visit to the orphanage. 3+ hours one way. So many feelings and bits of new information, and a better understanding of our girl. My head is swimming trying to process it all. Initially I …Read More
March 7, Wednesday: {grief}
March 7, 2012
adoption realities, Journey to Mazie, Nancy
If the posts recently have been hard to read, you may want to skip this one. I put it out there for those who might be in our shoes next. Our girl is grieving so hard. I mean very hard. So much harder than Tess or Jude ever did. Harder than the other babies in …Read More
Monday, March 5: {beginnings}
March 5, 2012
developmental delays, Journey to Mazie, Nancy
There was rain and then a traffic jam, and by the time the babies reached the hotel they were two hours past due. They brought Mazie directly to our`room because they were so late, and I was glad for this. On top of the trauma of being passed to us, she was overly tired, very …Read More
The Labor of Adoption
February 25, 2012
Journey to Mazie, Nancy
My head is absolutely full. Overflowing. T-2 1/2 days. Really, could I be leaving for China that soon? Oh yes you can. I wake up each morning, look out on the floor, and wonder who in the world spilled my brains out all over the carpet. Now how did those get there? I told myself …Read More
I am the Abductor
February 16, 2012
adoption realities, Journey to Mazie, Nancy
This might come off sounding awful, but here it goes. When my new daughter comes into my arms, {17 days from today!} I think it’s ok if she cries. Screaming, wailing, flailing… it’s all ok with me. And here’s the awful part, part of me is hoping there will be “a reaction” or some kind. …Read More
The Plan vs The Unknown
February 10, 2012
developmental delays, Journey to Mazie, Nancy
You know that saying…You want to see God laugh? Just tell him what your plans are!I’m pretty sure it went down like that. In July of last year Papa and I carefully looked over our agency’s special need’s list. It’s a paper that lists about 50 possible special needs. Hepatitis C, missing limbs, cleft lip and …Read More
welcome Nancy
February 3, 2012
clubfoot, developmental delays, Nancy
I am excited to share that we have another new blogging mama who is joining our team at No Hands But Ours. Nancy blogs at Ordinary Miracles and the Crazy 9… and since she says it so much better than I do, here is bit more about her and her growing family! My name is …Read More