It has been two years. Two years since China said yes. Two years full of unexpected blessings. Two years of being asleep before your head hits the pillow at night. Two years of going to work with kisses on your cheeks. Two years full of learning new things for both Lock and us.
Has life been what we expected?
I am not sure what we expected. Maybe I have forgotten what I expected from that face. I studied his file. I looked at his picture for hours. I watched his video over and over….
Beginning this adoption journey was certainly a leap of faith. When I saw that face, I truly fell in love. I prayed to God, “If it is Your Will, please let us adopt this beautiful boy.” Lock had a diagnosis of Mild Cerebral Palsy, and it said he was slow to learn. It was obvious that his full potential had not yet been discovered. I understood the diagnosis but was not scared by it. My only prayer for him was that he would be able to go to school. I did not pray for God to let him be smart or gentle or caring or faithful, but God provided those things…anyway.
How has God provided?
When Lock or our family has a need, our son prays. If you say to Lock, “We need to pray,” he does just that. He does not wait; instead, he drops his head and prays. Lock knows and expects that God will answer his prayers. His faith in God in two short years is an inspiration to us all. God and Jesus and all His blessings are real to Lock. I will always remember Lock watching a cartoon video on Easter in Sunday school regarding the crucifixion and him saying, with tears streaming down his face, “Mommy, they shouldn’t have done that to Jesus”. We should all shed tears.
Determined. When Lock wants to learn something, he gives it his all. This boy is not a quitter. He studies, practices, and is diligent in whatever he sets his mind to. Lock has never said, “I quit”.
Compassionate. Lock worries about everyone. If a child is hurt on the playground, Lock runs to the rescue. Recently a lady fell going to her car at our church. Lock would not leave until she told him that she was OK. When his daddy had kidney stones, Lock prayed over him, for God to make him well.
Courageous. Lock is brave. Lock told us that he never heard anyone speak English until the day he met his mama and baba. How brave this seven year old boy was who climbed up the steps that day to meet us and never looked back! During our two weeks in China, he told everyone, “I am going to America.”
Has every day been easy?
No! There have been days of outbursts, hours of crying, and periods of holding and rocking him until the anger dissipates. Lock sheds tears at night because regardless of all the love that we give, he still asks, “You send me back to China?” All the reassurance in the world cannot take away his fear in just two short years. The seven years of Lock’s life before meeting our family continues to impact him today.
Many of the unknowns about Lock’s life in China are being revealed to us a little at a time. Now that communication with Lock is so much easier, we are learning just how brave he is and what his life was like in China. He tells us about walking to “school.” Lock shares about the bowls of noodles on the tables for lunch. He tells us about hurting his arm and riding on the scooter to the doctor with China Mom, which is what he calls his foster mother. Some things Lock does not remember and at times will ask questions about them. He has asked:
Why did you come to China to adopt me?
Why did God have me born in China?
Why is my skin brown?
Why did I not come from your belly?
Life is no more certain for biological children than for our adopted children, and we are left with so many questions about the past and future.
Every day is full of uncertainties.
We try to give Lock the best answer that we can….
God has a plan for each of us.
-guest post by Becky