Adoption. Ready or Not?

April 22, 2019 pre-adoption, Rebecca, should we adopt? 2 Comments

“Don’t wait for more revelation; be obedient to the amount of revelation God has given you.”

Mark Batterson, Draw the Circle

photo credit: Annie Spratt via Unsplash

I remember hunkering in my hiding spot as a child, my heart beating wildly. Whichever friend was “it” in our game of hide and seek would be counting to ten, just seconds away from, “Ready or not, here I come!”

Never did I feel ready. Even if I slid into my spot on time, I’d be looking around considering other hiding options. I wanted more time for my breathing to quiet, to be all the way ready.

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In one of your rounds of hide and seek, did you ever scream, “Not ready!”?  

Me too.  

Are you currently shouting, “NOT READY!” at the adoption you know you are called to?

Maybe you tell people all the time that it your dream. The seed God has planted is undeniable. It’s more than a romanticized notion or envy of other people’s experiences. It’s a calling and one you love.

Even still, you ignore it. You hold off. You wait so you can watch for “signs”.  You think you’ll feel ready. You want to get in the game, but you want more time.

If that describes you, then this pep talk is yours.

This pep talk is not for everyone considering adoption though. I shrink back from campaigns or wording that drops guilt as an excuse to adopt. This process is too hard, too important, and too risky with lives at stake to jump into it out of guilt. In my experience, God doesn’t guilt me into His work. Rather, He nudges and shines a lamp on my next right choice. It might feel terrifying, but when I remove my own emotions from the equation, His call is usually clear.  f this describes you, then I hope you’ll shout, “Not ready.”

As someone who has walked before you, I fully understand trying to discern when to say when.  

Saying yes to being the parent of a child, whether by birth or adoption, is scary, and too big, too divine, and too holy to capture with a feeling.  

In the end, ask yourself if God has called your family to adopt. If so, what are you waiting for? Is He being stingy with signs or are you a master at stall tactics? Will you be obedient to the calling you’ve already received?

You’ll never fully feel prepared to wildly yell, “READY!” It’s a faulty plan, my friends. Your answer to, “Ready or not?” will always be no. Your home, finances, job timing, and sibling ages will never all align with your faith, emotions and courage meter.

We prefer timelines, safety nets, guarantees, and things just as we want them, right away. But the work of human relationships is more mysterious, exciting, impossible and altogether lovely. God-sized invitations are steps into the unknown. If we felt ready for all of life, we’d see nothing of God’s movement.

You know who is always ready? Yep, you already know. And He’s waiting for you, even when you hide. He can convince reluctant husbands, prepare the hearts of siblings, and work out job-timing. He’s ready with all the financial, emotional and spiritual provision, but you’ll never know that until you need to.

You might not be ready, but do you trust that God is? If your readiness is the gauge, then you’ll miss it.  He does not promise that it will be easy, and it won’t be, but He will equip you, one step at a time.

All that said, it’s a both/and life experience. We must do the work, ask the questions, pay attention to adoptive families, take the training, and read the books. This a call to action, not to recklessness. Let’s keep praying that we can discern the difference.

If the call is there, then that most likely is the sign. I don’t want to persuade you to adopt. I just don’t want you to miss God’s nudging. Unlike the friend who is “it” in hide and seek, He sees you exactly where you are and knows when to say when. 

Ready or not, a messy beautiful adventure awaits.  



2 responses to “Adoption. Ready or Not?”

  1. Terry A Fithian says:

    Oh so true! We were never ready… So glad we didn’t wait to be ready or listen to our fears because it never would have happened. God Bless!

  2. Lisa says:

    Terry,

    I too was never ready, 4 adoptions later and thinking of going for it one more time next year. I AM sure I wont be ready then either, but it is SO worth it!!!

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