What’s in a Name
October 2, 2019
adopting a boy, Adopting Scenarios, Blood Conditions, developmental delays, Developmental System, Family Stories, October 2019 Feature - Developmental, should we adopt?, siblings, speech delay, speech therapy, undiagnosed SN, virtual twinning
Every adoptive parent dreams of how they will “meet” their new child… Will they see him or her on an advocacy post and be flooded with warm fuzzies? Will they get “the call” or open an email to an endearing face that will change their family forever? I had been dreaming about this moment for …Read More
With Open Doors and Open Arms
September 2, 2019
adopting a boy, cl/cp, Craniofacial, Family Stories, July 2019 Feature - Craniofacial, should we adopt?
Our son Falcon’s adoption story began three years before he was born. We were in China adopting our first child, a baby girl, through the NSN program. Touring her orphanage, I remember cresting the top of the four flights of stairs, excited to hear the sound of little voices. We asked our guide if we …Read More
Ethan: Adopting a Son with Cleft Lip and Palate
August 14, 2019
adopting a boy, cl/cp, Craniofacial, Family Stories, July 2019 Feature - Craniofacial, pre-adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
Early in our marriage, my husband showed interest in the idea of adopting. “Wouldn’t it be great to be able to give a family to a child who doesn’t have one?” he said one day. I remember thinking, “I don’t know if adoption is for me. I don’t know if I could do that.” Throughout …Read More
Adoption. Ready or Not?
April 22, 2019
pre-adoption, Rebecca, should we adopt?
“Don’t wait for more revelation; be obedient to the amount of revelation God has given you.” – Mark Batterson, Draw the Circle I remember hunkering in my hiding spot as a child, my heart beating wildly. Whichever friend was “it” in our game of hide and seek would be counting to ten, just seconds away …Read More
Lessons Learned from an Internal Processor
November 23, 2018
a father's perspective, Dads, developmental delays, Developmental System, Down syndrome, Lifelong needs, October 2018 Feature - Developmental, Perspectives, Randall, should we adopt?
Down syndrome is scary. I said that to myself five years ago. It took me awhile to admit it. But I was pretty opposed to all lifelong diagnoses. I had very little information about Down syndrome back then. And the information gaps gave my imagination plenty of space to run freely. I saw the shadows …Read More
Overlooking the Checklist: Saying Yes to OI
August 3, 2018
Family Stories, June 2018 Feature - Orthopedic, large families, medical needs checklist, Orthopedic, osteogenesis imperfecta, pre-adoption, wheelchair user
Very quickly after beginning of our adoption process we were asked to fill out a Medical Needs Checklist… a checklist of medical conditions commonly seen in China’s orphans. You must go down the checklist and check “yes”, “no” or “willing to discuss” about adopting a child with the listed condition. Nothing makes you feel more …Read More
Joke’s on Me: Fibular Hemimelia
June 21, 2018
AFO, Family Stories, fibular hemimelia, June 2018 Feature - Orthopedic, leg length discrepancy, limb difference, medical trauma, Orthopedic, referral, should we adopt?, surgery, trauma, waiting for referral
If you have adopted, you know the overwhelming process of filling out the medical needs checklist (MCC). For those that haven’t, this is a piece of paper with a wide range list of medical needs, each having little boxes beside them, and your job is to check the ones you are open to within adoption. …Read More
A Dad’s Heart on Adoption
June 17, 2018
a father's perspective, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, Family Stories, June 2018 Feature - Celebrating Dads, large families, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
Almost 15 months ago we brought home one of the biggest blessings of my life. Our daughter, Willow, has changed me forever and has made me a better man, father, husband and drawn me closer to our Heavenly Father. Her unconditional grace, love and pure joy for life are a daily reminder of how true …Read More
Limb Different – But Beautiful
June 3, 2018
adopting a boy, Family Stories, June 2018 Feature - Orthopedic, medical needs checklist, missing fingers/toes, Orthopedic, should we adopt?, symbrachydactyly, visible special need
It was early 2015 when our journey toward our son Noah began. Unlike so many families that adopt, it was not a lifelong dream of mine that was finally going to become a reality. No, it was a rather quick process that began one night as I laid in bed watching the evening news. Images …Read More
The Surprise Adoption
April 2, 2018
adopting again, Family Stories, older child adoption, pre-adoption, should we adopt?, virtual twins
Me: Surprise, we are adopting again! My friend: I’m shocked! Me: So are we!!! Friend: How does this happen? The short answer is God! I want to document the longer answer so that I don’t forgot but also as a testimony to each of you about God’s goodness and His attention to detail. Just when …Read More
An Answered Prayer
March 21, 2018
adopting a boy, beta thalassemia, beta thalassemia major, Blood Conditions, Family Stories, March 2018 Feature - Blood Conditions, pre-adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?, thalassemia
Our adoption story began three years ago when God first planted the seed of adoption in my heart. I remember it so clearly, it was during the 2015 IF:Gathering live simulcast. I had watched the entire conference alone in my living room, soaking in all of the content from the amazing speakers. At the very …Read More
A New Song
March 13, 2018
adopting again, medical needs checklist, parent restrictions, should we adopt?, switching to another country
“Behold I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” – Isaiah 43:19 When Robert and I were on our way home with our son, Howie, we started talking about going back. When we found out Howie’s special need was nonexistent, we knew we would have the energy, room, …Read More
Making Friends, Finding Culture
March 4, 2018
Chinese Culture, Chinese Holidays, Chinese New Year, February 2018 Feature - Honoring China in the Everyday, should we adopt?
When I sat down to write about how our family incorporates and celebrates Chinese culture in our American home, I first thought of the decorations we put up during celebrations. However, my mind quickly turned from decorations, events, and holidays, to the people who have enriched our lives by sharing their lives and culture with …Read More
Crossing the Line
January 9, 2018
adopting again, Brandie, pre-adoption, should we adopt?
36.9990° N, 109.0452° W is the only place in the United States where one can stand in four states at the same time. This was not always the case in US history. The boundaries of western territories shifted over the years, morphing into different shapes. Lines were crossed, crossed out, and redrawn as people fought …Read More
Since You Came Along: A Journey to Becoming Siblings
December 21, 2017
December 2017 Feature - Making Room for a Sibling, pre-adoption, should we adopt?, siblings
“I’m a brother.” I remember my oldest son telling me this, despite the fact that he was an only child. He was insistent. I heard him. My son is named after my grandpa — who had had 10 siblings after all! My son reminds me so much of my grandpa. Like my grandpa, he is …Read More
Preparing for Adoption: Therapist Q and A Part One
December 12, 2017
Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, Kelly, marriage, Newly Home, October 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption from the Experts, pre-adoption, prepping for China, siblings, TBRI-based therapy, therapy
You’ve dreamt for this day for months, years even. You’ve planned for it, are going to travel halfway around the world for it, and have played it out in your mind a million times. And yet, the reality of becoming a family through adoption is undoubtedly different. As we have focused on Preparing for Adoption, …Read More
The Waiting Place
November 9, 2017
Brandie, pre-adoption, waiting for referral, waiting to travel
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long and wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place… …for people just waiting. – Dr. Seuss /// I was a soon-to-be graduating senior when …Read More
Preparing for Adoption: A Family Therapist’s Perspective
October 23, 2017
books, China trip, guest post, I'm Ready to Adopt, Lifeline, October 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption from the Experts, pre-adoption, prepping for China, TBRI-based therapy
You’ve dreamt for this day for months, years even. Planned for it, traveled halfway around the world for it and played it out in your mind a million times. And yet, the reality of becoming a family through adoption is undoubtedly different. What happens next depends much on how you, as the adoptive parent, process …Read More
Walking His Road
July 21, 2017
adopting again, cl/cp, Craniofacial, Family Stories, July 2017 Feature - Craniofacial, should we adopt?, speech delay, undiagnosed SN
It was Memorial Day 2012 the first time my husband, Robert, told me he wanted to adopt. We lived in a delightful little suburb of Dallas and had spent the afternoon watching our three young boys play at the splash park. We were all hot and sticky as we drove home and he said, “I’d …Read More
I Can’t is Not in Our Vocabulary
July 4, 2017
Family Stories, June 2017 Feature - Orthopedic, limb difference, Orthopedic, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
I can’t. Such a short phrase can carry so much defeat behind it. It’s a phrase that I was sure we would hear often when my husband and I were called to adopt a child with a limb difference. So many questions and emotions ran through my mind the day that I stared at our …Read More
What I Wish I’d Known About the Special Needs Adoption Community
July 2, 2017
adoption community, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, should we adopt?
My wife and I sat there staring at the computer screen. We had filled out an application to adopt a two-year old orphan with arthrogryposis from China. All that was left was to click the “send” button. That’s it. Just click that button. Our hesitation wasn’t because pressing a button was a hard thing to …Read More
What If It Ruins Everything?
June 30, 2017
a father's perspective, adopting a boy, adopting again, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Mike, should we adopt?
Finishing up our June Feature, Thoughts from the Dad, with a post by Mike, a former (and greatly missed) regular contributor. The last time Mike shared was during our dad series two years ago… we are so grateful he was up for sharing once again. You can read all Mike’s previous posts on NHBO here. …Read More
How Adoption Changed Our Definition of Perfect
June 27, 2017
adopting a boy, adopting again, adopting out of birth order, arthrogryposis, Family Stories, June 2017 Feature - Orthopedic, mobility issues, older child adoption, Orthopedic, should we adopt?, wheelchair user
My husband and I met in middle school. We didn’t date until right after high school, but were close friends from early in our relationship. We dated through college and got married right after my graduation. We met a family who had children through adoption, and that was when the seed was planted. We knew …Read More
An Orphan’s Courtroom
June 21, 2017
adopting a boy, adopting again, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, should we adopt?
In honor of Father’s Day, the month of June is dedicated to Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… It was the spring of 2013. Our three older kids were out of the house and on their own, …Read More
More Than Meets the Eye
June 18, 2017
a father's perspective, adopting a boy, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, should we adopt?
In honor of Father’s Day, the month of June is dedicated to Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… “God is spirit and exists at the level of reality where the human heart, or spirit, also exists, serving …Read More
Thoughts from The Dad: Worth It
June 16, 2017
a father's perspective, Dads, Family Stories, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, should we adopt?
Welcome June! And, in honor of Father’s Day later this month, June is all about Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… What is my perspective, as a dad, on adoption? Since perspective is defined as an attitude …Read More
The Most Important Job: The Making of a Father
June 9, 2017
a father's perspective, adopting a boy, adopting again, adopting as first time parents, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, should we adopt?
Welcome June! And, in honor of Father’s Day later this month, June is all about Dads. During our Thoughts from the Dad series, we’ll feature stories written by fathers sharing their unique perspective on the journey of adoption. ……… “They’re so lucky,” I often hear, once someone learns of my two adopted boys. “You’ve given …Read More
For Life: What Happened When We Killed Our Dreams
May 26, 2017
a father's perspective, ASD, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, feeding challenges, heart defect, May 2017 Feature - For Life, medical needs checklist, Randall, should we adopt?
Finish high school. Graduate from college. Get a job. Get married. Have a couple kids. Maybe even adopt one. Send them all to college. Celebrate their weddings. Spoil the grandkids. Retire. That’s the plan. Well… that was the plan. When I was getting ready to finish high school, I realized I had no idea what …Read More
Which Child Is His “Yes” For Us?
May 13, 2017
Courtney, declining a referral, paperchase, referral, should we adopt?, waiting for referral
Any time I look at a file of a child, my heart starts to beat a little faster. I immediately wonder, “is this the one?” As my husband and I wade through pages and pages of medical information, reports, doctor assessments, places of abandonment, finding dates, pictures, and videos, we often find ourselves wondering if …Read More
This Is Why We Adopt
May 5, 2017
adopting out of birth order, aging out expedite, Family Stories, older child adoption, should we adopt?
Terrified, I sat on our bed staring at a 13 year old little girl’s picture. The Lord stopped me in my tracks as I read the brief description about her. Father, surely she is meant for another family… I am hearing your voice wrong, right? People will think we are irresponsible… they will think we …Read More
Elijah’s Story: You Don’t Have to Hide
May 2, 2017
adopting a boy, adopting out of birth order, aging out expedite, Family Stories, Klippel-Trenaunay Syndrome, May 2017 Feature - Vascular, older child adoption, should we adopt?, Vascular System
We had no clue what was about to happen. We have many folks in our circle of friends and family who have fostered and adopted, both domestically and internationally. We have loved supporting them, praying for them, and wearing the t-shirts. Shared stories and advocacy posts were a regular occurrence on our news feeds, but …Read More
A Beginner’s Guide to Special Needs Adoption: Post Eight
April 6, 2017
A Beginner's Guide to Special Needs Adoption, adopting again, dossier, Faith, homestudy, paperchase, pre-adoption, Theraplay, waiting for referral, waiting to travel
Becoming a parent, no matter how it happens, is never easy. But for those just looking into the possibility of adoption it can seem positively overwhelming. It is our hope to change all that. This 8-post series will go step-by-step through the process to adopt through the special needs program for those of you who …Read More
An Unfinished Family Portrait
March 25, 2017
a father's perspective, adopting a boy, Blood Conditions, Dads, Family Stories, hemophilia, hemophilia A, March 2017 Feature - Blood Conditions, older child adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
Looking up from a pile of leaves, a young, beautiful blonde-haired college girl smiles while being kissed on the cheek by a “somewhat handsome” college-aged boy. That young, twenty-year old girl, now even more beautiful than ever, is my wife, Amber. That college kid, who has not graced the twenty years since quite as well, …Read More
Different Routes Toward Adoption: Always Worth the Fight
March 19, 2017
pre-adoption, should we adopt?
We all have our buttons. One squeeze of the trigger, and we fire away. One of the quickest ways to trigger a release in my momma bear persona is to hear or read an often used comment in regards to adoption. No, I’m not talking about the things we all hear as adoptive parents when …Read More
Seeing Him in the Daily: A Transforming Perspective for the Hard Days
March 18, 2017
adopting again, Andrea Y., large families, other ways to care for the orphan, should we adopt?
Today. Today feels like one of those “the days are long but the years are fast” kinda days — busy, demanding, a mile long to-do-list sort of seasons of motherhood. Have you been there? Maybe you are like me and feel like you live there! It’s in these impossible laundry-piled days that’s it’s easy to …Read More
What I Didn’t Know: Adopting a Child with Severe Hemophilia
March 9, 2017
adopting a boy, Blood Conditions, Family Stories, hemophilia, hemophilia A, March 2017 Feature - Blood Conditions, should we adopt?, undiagnosed SN
Adoption for us was not something we thought about for years. It was something that God spoke to us in one day. On March 25, 2013 my husband casually mentioned he had been thinking about adoption. At the time, our daughters were seven, four, and two. I was overwhelmed and had no interest in adoption. …Read More
Seriously Blessed
March 4, 2017
adopting again, adopting later in life, adopting out of birth order, adopting two at once, complex heart defect, complex medical, large families, medical needs checklist, November 2016 Feature - Then and Now, older child adoption, should we adopt?
In 2011, our family looked like this. We were considered a large family by our friends and family. Dan and I had been married for 27 years at this point. We had been through a great deal during those 27 years. Our twin boys were born prematurely, three months before their due date. Our son …Read More
After the Honeymoon: Adopting a Child with Complex CHD
February 14, 2017
adopting a boy, adopting as first time parents, complex heart defect, Family Stories, February 2017 Feature - Heart, first year home, Heart System, heterotaxy, medical needs checklist, Morning Star Foster Home, pulmonary atresia, should we adopt?, surgery, waiting for referral
Prologue: In our son’s room, we have a picture that reads: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) We chose this verse for him, but in reality it applies more to us. My husband, Derek, and …Read More
How to Know When It’s Time to Adopt
January 30, 2017
a father's perspective, adopting again, Dads, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, Perspectives, pre-adoption, Randall, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
January last year, my wife sat across the couch from me as we do most every night. She has a way of asking a question that doesn’t leave you alone, even after you’ve answered it. The lights in the living room were dim and an episode of The Office was playing in the background. I was …Read More
Reluctant Spouses: Waiting on God’s Story to be Written
January 29, 2017
adopting again, adopting later in life, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, large families, reluctant husband, Sharon, should we adopt?
Choosing to grow your family is a monumental, life-altering decision. And choosing to grow your family through special-needs adoption? Even more so. Which makes this decision an understandably difficult one to make – one that is typically easier (or harder) for one spouse than the other. This month we’re focusing on Reluctant Spouses. Or, when …Read More
The Road To Compassion
January 27, 2017
Andrea O., complex heart defect, should we adopt?, siblings
When contemplating the adoption of a child with complex medical needs, particularly those needs that may very well result in a shortened lifespan, families are often confronted by well-meaning friends and relatives with a variation of this question: “How will this adoption affect this children already in your home? How will this affect your marriage?” …Read More
Confessions of a Former China Director Turned Adoptive Mom
January 24, 2017
adopting a boy, Attachment, attachment activities, cognitive delay, complex medical, developmental delays, Developmental System, Family Stories, first weeks home, first year home, low muscle tone, Newly Home, should we adopt?
Alternately titled: What I wish I would have known, and what I would like to share with other adoptive families I first started out with adoption in 2004 when I was just 21 years old. It was the summer before my senior year of college when I got a job as an intern at All …Read More
Reluctant Spouses: Worth the Wait
January 21, 2017
adopting a boy, Down syndrome, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, pre-adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
Choosing to grow your family is a monumental, life-altering decision. And choosing to grow your family through special-needs adoption? Even more so. Which makes this decision an understandably difficult one to make – one that is typically easier (or harder) for one spouse than the other. This month we’re focusing on Reluctant Spouses. Or, when …Read More
Reluctant Spouses: Of One Mind….
January 15, 2017
adopting again, adopting out of birth order, aging out expedite, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, older child adoption, pre-adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
Choosing to grow your family is a monumental, life-altering decision. And choosing to grow your family through special-needs adoption? Even more so. Which makes this decision an understandably difficult one to make – one that is typically easier (or harder) for one spouse than the other. This month we’re focusing on Reluctant Spouses. Or, when …Read More
Waiting for Our Story to be Written
January 4, 2017
2017 Features, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, pre-adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?, Whitney
My journal contains the overspill of my heart, my prayers, my questions, fears, and joys. If you could read my journal entries from four or more years ago, you would probably come away believing that adoption was just never going to happen for our family. You would have read about the times we helped other …Read More
Without the Thought of Her, We Would Never Have Him
December 26, 2016
adopting a boy, December 2016 Feature - Adopting a Boy, either gender, pre-adoption, should we adopt?
Twelve years ago I had a dream birthed in my heart of mothering a child from China. In my mind’s eye I saw a sweet little girl, jet black pigtails, and pink bows. I had just spent time in the country, and even at a young age saw the crushing weight of the reality of …Read More
No More Fear in Saying Yes
December 17, 2016
2016 Featured Fundraising Families, adopting as first time parents, fundraisers, other ways to care for the orphan, pre-adoption, reluctant husband, should we adopt?
There are some conversations you have, and you know you’ll remember them long after they’re gone. Something about them seems like deja vu or like they’re happening in slow motion, and you can just feel the permanency in that moment. I had one of those conversations with a dear friend last spring, telling her I …Read More
Blessed by Boys
December 12, 2016
adopting a boy, adopting again, Brandie, December 2016 Feature - Adopting a Boy, dossier reuse, Family Stories, referral, should we adopt?, virtual twins, waiting for referral
I completed my first adoption in the fall of 1983. Cradling my new baby, I raised my right hand as I stood in front of my mother pledging, “I promise to love my Cabbage Patch Kid with all my heart. I promise to be a good and kind parent. I will always remember how special …Read More
Not What I Expected
October 30, 2016
Family Stories, infertility, pre-adoption, referral, should we adopt?, waiting for referral, working mom
Our family story. It’s not what I expected. Ten years ago when my husband and I decided it was time to start a family, “my time” likely caused God to laugh because nothing, really, has happened according to my desired schedule. Ten years ago we were the ideal parents. My husband and I went to …Read More
The Greatest Fear of Every Dad
October 25, 2016
a father's perspective, Dads, Perspectives, Randall, should we adopt?
The morning was cool. The sounds of the city were waking up. But they hadn’t slept a wink last night. They huddled together under cover of night making the final plans for their new life. For years they’ve been overwhelmed by a life dictated by someone else’s dream. Forced to work for an ideal that …Read More