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A Few of Our Favorite Books

June 24, 2016 by nohandsbutours 0 Comments

We love reading at our house. Love it.
As a middle school Language Arts teacher, this love makes my heart soar with delight.

So. Yes. We have a ton of books.
And yes, we have many, many books about {China} adoption stories.
As well as stories set in China, stories about China, toddler/preschool books with Chinese vocabulary, elementary age chapter books written by Chinese authors, Chinese recipe books, Chinese craft books, Chinese holiday books.
You name it. We got it.


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Instead of writing about or featuring all of them (which I could easily do), I asked my two youngest daughters which books were/are their favorites. My girls are now 11 and 10 years old.

And boy, did we have fun.
It was a great adventure.
They felt important, helping mom with her post for No Hands But Ours.

We got the chance to “walk down memory lane” as we reconnected with some of our old dear “friends”. Books that brought back so many memories… taught us some many things…. brought us closer together as we navigated through some difficult but important conversations.

I asked the girls to choose one favorite book from when they were younger… like toddler/preschool/kindergarten younger. And they did.


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We’ll begin with Avery, she is my ten year old. We adopted Avery when she was just shy of being four years old. It was a long first year of bonding and building trust. When she first came home, she wanted nothing to do with cuddling and reading books with me. She would watch from about three feet away as her older sister and I would read books together. It took a long time for her to feel comfortable joining us. Inch by inch and day by day, Avery would move in a little closer to me…. would lean over to see the pictures… would start to put her little body next to mine. It was a process, but she was intrigued….

Eventually she would end up in my lap (thank you Jesus), asking me to read this one book… a book about adoption.. a book that was fairy tale based. Every.single.day…. sometimes twice a day….

The Red Thread – An Adoption Tale by Grace Lin
PreSchool through Grade 3


The Red Thread2


Avery loves this book because it’s a fairy tale. A king and a queen? A baby princess? Yes, please.
She was drawn to the fact that something was missing from the parents’ lives. So much so, they were in pain, mysterious pain in their hearts that nothing or no one could explain or fix.
They went searching for their hearts’ desire, pulled by “the red thread”. The traveled far. They traveled long. As they traveled, their pain became less and less. They would not stop until they found what they were longing for…
Their child.

Such a beautiful story. So many parallels and symbolism to the journeys many of us have made to as we traveled “far and wide” to reach our children. And I love how the author incorporates the Chinese belief that “an invisible, unbreakable red thread connect all to who are destined to be together.”

My older daughter, Shea, is eleven years old. She became our daughter when she was 26 months old. When we first met her, she thought books were for throwing, like a ball. Once she realized that books were meant to be read, she was all in! Reading to her daily really helped with the bonding process. The touching, the sitting in my lap, the sound of my voice, the overall interaction of this simple routine of reading did wonders for our relationship.


chris


When Shea was four, she loved, loved, loved a sweet adoption story told from the point of view of a ladybug.

Shaoey and Dot by Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman
4 – 7 years old


Shaoey and Dot


This book so beautifully tells how a lady bug, named Dot, accidentally finds a “bundle” that wiggles. Dot is immediately captivated by this “bundle”. Dot promises to stay with her new friend as she is taken to the “place where babies are found.”

Oh my!

Such a touching story of friendship and loyalty. Every time I read it, I cry!

This book is written in a poem format, so lyrical and easy to read. And fun!

The illustrations are lovely and captivating.

Shea loved this story because it re-told “her story” in a way that was non-threatening, but also touched upon some very real truths about adoption. Dot, the ladybug, is a true friend. She never left the baby’s side. I know this was an important aspect to the story for my daughter.

We read this story to her kindergarten class when the kids started to ask Shea questions about adoption. Again, because this is written as an “adventure” showcasing friendship and loyalty, it was a good book to read to five and six year olds who really didn’t understand how Shea became our daughter. And yes, both Shea’s kindergarten teacher and I were bawling as I finished reading this book to the class.

As they girls have gotten older, they have enjoyed books by Grace Lin.

Dumpling Days (A Pacy Lin Novel)
Grade Level: 3rd to 7th


Dumpling Days


The Year of the Rat (A Pacy Lin Novel)
Grade Level: 3rd to 7th


Year of the Rat


The Year of the Dog (A Pacy Lin Novel)
Grade Level: 3rd to 7th


The Year of the Dog jpg


Where the Mountain Meets the Moon
Grade Level: 3rd to 7th


Where the Mountain Meets the Moon jpg


Starry River of the Sky
Grade Level: 3rd to 7th


Starry River of the Sky jpg


Pretty much anything by Grace Lin, we have loved and enjoyed. I highly recommend checking her out here, here and here!

My youngest son, Jude, is really into “diggers” and all things construction. His favorite books seem to revolve around this “theme”. Jude is four years old and has been home with us for just over two years. Although his first “reading” choice would be about trucks, he will happily sit in our laps as we read to him just about any book, adoption themed or not.


chris1


I like reading to him one of Kay Bratt’s children’s books, Eyes Like Mine.


Eyes Like Mine jpg


Not only is this a great book that talks about love, acceptance and adoption, but it’s one of the few books that feature a father and son. One day, the little boy realizes he doesn’t look like anyone else in his family. He feels like he doesn’t fit in. He “runs away” to his treehouse. His father “finds” his son, and with such love tells that sweet boy all about his adoption story. This book is so endearing. It’s short story that tells so much! Perfect for on the go four year old boys!

Reading is definitely an important activity at our house. I (gently) push it and endorse it. We find time to read every day, whether independently or to each other.

I know with certainty that reading has helped our three youngest children with bonding.
And reading adoption/China themed books have been a springboard to many discussions…. some were light hearted, some were deep and thought-provoking. Regardless, these books got us talking…..

The Good.
The Bad.
The Ugly.
The Sad.
The Unknown.
The Redemption.
The Beauty….

Whenever our children, who have come from hard places, can open up to us – can share with us their questions, thoughts, fears – that is a good thing.

And if books can help in this process? That is a really good thing.
ChrisNHBOSig

Why We Won’t Be Seeing Finding Dory on the Big Screen

June 23, 2016 by nohandsbutours 25 Comments

Debuting on the 17th, Finding Dory has blown box office records out of the water, making its debut the highest grossing one for animated movies ever. It’s as if the crowds have been waiting for it for the last 13 years since its prequel Finding Nemo. My kids are among that crowd having grown up quoting “just keep swimming” and Crush’s “dude…” But, we’re going to be moving against the tide this summer.


finding dory poster


I’ve read the reviews. Critics are generally raving about it. It’s no surprise really; the Disney/Pixar crew are masters at their craft. I grew up watching cartoons; my kids are growing up watching animation that is so remarkable that colorful little fish and octopi become humanesque in every way. We had to exercise the suspension of disbelief to imagine that little penguins could dance and bunnies could talk. Not any more; the graphics look too legit for that. But, honestly, that adds to the reason why we’re not going to be seeing it.

Critics have applauded the underlying message: “it delicately explores the challenges of raising— or being — a child with special needs;” “it tugs at the heart strings; teaches valuable lessons about disabilities, teamwork, and the unconditional love of family”. Disney covered the sisterhood bond in Frozen and the intricacy of emotions in Inside Out; but special needs has been largely unchartered territory. Building on what they started with Nemo’s little fin is admirable. But, does that mean it’s necessarily good for our kids?

From the reviews and spoilers I’ve read, despite adoring parents who worked together to help their child strategize so that she could live safely with her differences, Dory’s “short-term remember-y loss” led her to be traumatically separated from her parents as a child. She was later adopted by our favorite clown fish family and fairly content with that until she started having flashbacks about her birth family, bringing up big feelings that lead to a big move. With help, she leaves home in search of her birth family, who viewers learn have been looking for her but who are now in captivity and dependent on Dory to save them.

That’s a lot for any kid to handle with real looking sea creatures jumping off the big screen. It’s even more for a kid to handle who understands in one way or another that his or her special need may have played a large part in the loss of his or her first family.


finding-dory-pic-2


I’m all for the hard conversations. I’m all for using every cracked-open door to enter into a conversation with our children about brokenness and big feelings. I make sure they know that we want to be a safe place for any conversation they may want to have. But, I’ve also learned that each one of my children responds best when we can meet them right where they are in those conversations which means they aren’t always convenient.

So, what does that mean for a family movie night for our family? What that means is that we absolutely will be watching Finding Dory at some point but not now. We’ll be watching it on our small screen in our own home where we can press pause every so often for a popcorn or ice cream break and chat as we’re dishing it out with things like, “I really like this movie, but it makes me feel kinda sad. I wonder if it makes you feel a little sad too.” “Watching movies about big feelings always brings up big feelings for me. Does it do that for you too?” “There is a lot in this movie about adoption and birth families, isn’t there? I wonder if it makes you think about your birth family at all. It does for me. It would be okay if it did for you too.”

Our daughter from China may or may not be emotionally affected; our biological children may or may not be emotionally affected. They could all watch it straight through and love every minute. But, if big feelings come and tears show up or they want to withdrawal, I’d rather be ready for it right here safely at home with remote in hand where we can control the intermissions, the volume, the lighting, and the company.


5 Waiting Children from Bethel China

June 22, 2016 by nohandsbutours 0 Comments

During the month of June we are joining Bethel China in highlighting children who are available for adoption. All of these children are blind or have significant vision loss. All of them need a forever family. For more information on any of these children, please email Anna at Bethel China.


Josh is five-year-old boy who has been at Bethel for just six weeks. In that short time, he has learned to sit up and can now stand with support. We are so proud of him! Josh has learned some simple language and can get his teacher’s attention when he wants something. He just celebrated his birthday and loved eating cake and getting a present. He likes music and he’s learning how to dance to the beat. He is affectionate and sweet with his caregivers. We would love to see Josh in a forever family of his own! For more information about Josh, please contact Tabitha.

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Say hello to Mr. Dimples—AKA, Kyle! This Bethel cutie is three years old and he’s only been with us for a few weeks. He has a delightful giggle and loves getting attention from adults. Kyle is blind and has hydrocephalus. He is really smiley and he loves to be picked up by an adult. He is learning how to play and we can’t wait to see him grow and change. This little boy would be such a joy to have in a family!

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Daisy is a darling two-year-old girl who recently came to Bethel. She is completely blind but she doesn’t let that stop her one bit! She’s a little girl who knows just what she wants and how to get it. Daisy is very smart and has great language skills for her age. Not only can she ask for what she wants, she also knows what her friends want and asks on their behalf! She can also count, which makes her feel very proud of herself! For more information about Daisy, please contact Tabitha.

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Shirley is an eight-year-old girl who has been at Bethel for four years. She came to us with a lot of delays, but has worked so hard with her teachers and caregivers. She can now walk, run and jump and has fought so hard to become an independent little girl! Shirley loves to have her hair fixed. If you tell her she’s beautiful, she grins from ear to ear and claps her hands. For more information about Shirley, please contact Tabitha.

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Kenny is a four-year-old boy who has been at Bethel for one year. He has low vision. Kenny loves his Bethel caregivers and follows them around all day. They have started giving him special tasks like opening the door, throwing away trash, and carrying objects. He loves to be a little helper! Kenny has recently started improving so much and is now starting to babble. We hope he’ll be talking soon!

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For more information on any of these children, please contact Bethel China.

How Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale Found Its Way

June 21, 2016 by nohandsbutours 0 Comments

khc4

We all have a history. Even my picture book, Sweet Moon Baby: An Adoption Tale, carries a unique backstory. When I was four years old, I had three goals: a husband, a daughter, and a book. I was sketchy about how to accomplish the first two, so I tackled the book. In purple crayon, I …Read More

Different Than What We Asked for, Better Than We Imagined

June 20, 2016 by nohandsbutours 5 Comments

megan3

When considering the orphans of China, many think of the the one child policy and specifically the incredible amount of girls that were abandoned as a result. When my husband and I began our adoption process we too thought that it was the girls most in need of homes and loving families. Like many others, …Read More

You Can Do Hard Things

June 19, 2016 by nohandsbutours 2 Comments

randall2

About two months ago I stared at the number on the scale beneath my feet. I’d never seen a number that big before. Maybe the scale needed to be calibrated. Surely this wasn’t right. I stepped off. Calibrated it. Set a 10 pound dumbbell on it to confirm it’s accuracy. Then I stepped back on. …Read More

Multi-Cultural Adoption Books for Kids

June 18, 2016 by nohandsbutours 0 Comments

Multicultural-Adoption-Books-for-Kids

There is an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible, unbreakable red thread connects all those who are destined to be together. From The Red Thread by Grace Lin There is a subtle thread that ties some of these books together. It’s the bridge from Asia to America through adoption. When kids are placed into loving …Read More

Adoption Infertility: When Not Now Feels Like Not Ever

June 17, 2016 by nohandsbutours 0 Comments

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“Come, sit amidst the ash heap; pick up your potsherd and pray.” That was a phrase borne in my heart from a season of personal lament… a time during which my own sorrowful meditations were keenly focused on the circumstances of the biblical saint of old, Job. How he must have pondered there in that …Read More

Cherishing Today: Adopting a Child with OI

June 16, 2016 by nohandsbutours 3 Comments

marie6

Our littlest love, with us now for three months, has Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), also known as brittle bone disease. Adopting a child with OI was not something we set out to do, nor was OI something we had ever been exposed to or educated about, but when Tessa Kate’s adorable picture appeared on the China …Read More

Book Review: The Story I’ll Tell

June 15, 2016 by nohandsbutours 1 Comments

jean

I was so excited when I was asked to review this book. Our children love new books especially when they are about adoption. When it arrived at our home I caught a few of them checking it out before our reading time! The Story I’ll Tell by Nancy Tupper Ling Illustrated by Jessica Lanan The …Read More

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