Celebrating China In The Small Things

September 19, 2018 Chinese Culture, Chinese Holidays, first year home, Megan V., Newly Home 3 Comments

Somewhere, in the mess of paperwork I keep in an accordion file in my office, is information regarding our responsibility to celebrate our Chinese children’s culture. It may be the only paper that isn’t notarized and certified, but I’m pretty sure we promised. To go to stuff and do stuff and celebrate stuff. This promise …Read More

It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

August 19, 2018 Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, August 2018 Feature - Attachment Through the Years, Megan V., parent-to-child attachment 0 Comments

I thought bonding would be so natural. When I became a mom, they laid that freshly born boy in my arms and it was magic. The love had been growing for nine months. As sinews and tendons were knitted together to become our son, my heart was expanding to make room for the love that …Read More

Our Boy Forever

June 19, 2018 adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, Megan V., older child adoption, rages, trauma 1 Comments

The end of the school year can do crazy things to us. Make us do and say things we cringe about later, our brains and hearts a haze of goodbyes and remembering to bring sprinkles to the Kindergarten Memory Day. And then there are the days afterward, in which no one is getting enough sleep …Read More

A Particularly Bad Day

May 17, 2018 adoption realities, attachment challenges, complex heart defect, food issues, hoarding, hypervigilance, Megan V., older child adoption, orphanage behaviors, trauma 1 Comments

There is a constant editing process that goes on when your adoption isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It is a dance between saying enough and not saying too much. Between protecting his privacy and helping others by sharing our experiences. We’ve just celebrated Abe’s three year Family Day this week and it’s triggered stuff in …Read More

“Will Adoption Be Good For My Kids?”

April 15, 2018 complex heart defect, double outlet right ventricle, Heart System, heart transplant, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, large families, Lifelong needs, Megan V., older child adoption, siblings 1 Comments

As I type, I’m sitting still in a sun puddle, watching my 12 year old take Abe’s blood pressure because we are at nearly 10,000 feet elevation on a ski vacation and his heart is faltering as it is, even without the elevation change putting undue stress on his valves. And this is a monitoring …Read More

The Fire in Your Belly

March 17, 2018 China trip, Megan V., other ways to care for the orphan, prepping for China 4 Comments

My sister returned from China with her little guy a month ago and I think I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And a smidgen of envy. Because you will take all the classes your agency recommends; you are a rule follower and you want to be prepared. But you will quickly learn that nothing, no …Read More

A Thousand Prayers

February 19, 2018 Megan V., orphanage realities, referral, waiting to travel 2 Comments

Time hop on FaceBook is making me emo. Today it reminds me that four years ago today, we were separated from our baby girl by 7,000 miles and several months. That she was celebrating her birthday without us, again, and that, apparently, I thought Matilda was the perfect name for her teeny self. All these …Read More

The Checklist

January 19, 2018 aortic stenosis, complex heart defect, double outlet right ventricle, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, Lifelong needs, medical needs checklist, Megan V., pulmonary stenosis, TGA 0 Comments

There is a checklist. It is several pages long and includes medical jargon I don’t know and hope I never have to understand. Every person who has adopted has been faced with this list. What are you willing to weather? I agonized over that list, checking and unchecking things depending how I felt in that …Read More

The Numbers That Matter

December 18, 2017 developmental delays, Education, IEP, Megan V., public school 5 Comments

Today we sat across from a table full of people in the conference room of our beloved elementary school, screen full of numbers and goals. They were so kind, so tentative, explaining the testing process to us and how Maggie fared in each category. She’s behind. Universally behind and the numbers didn’t expose anything we …Read More

Truth

November 19, 2017 adoption community, adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, first year home, Megan V., Newly Home, rages, trauma 6 Comments

We are not the poster children for adoption. Our process was so different from many of the moms I followed on facebook that I shut by computer one day and walked away from it, determined to not check in again until things were going better. That resolve lasted approximately 4 days and then I was …Read More

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