September 28, 2015 Attachment, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 3 Comments

Bringing our little girl home from China was all that we had thought it would be: hard, messy, loud, heart-breaking, joyful, hopeful, exciting, exhausting, and worth it! Adoption is born out of tragedy. It is gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, and HARD. Our babies come from a place filled with unspeakable loss and trauma. Yet, God takes all …Read More

September 25, 2015 China trip, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 1 Comments

I was once told that your life after adoption can be compared to a child’s mobile hanging over a crib. When the mobile is bumped, it’s path becomes unpredictable and out of balance as it spins recklessly with no sure path. As time passes, the mobile will become stable again and maintain a smooth circular …Read More

September 23, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, Medical Momma, Rebecca, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, surgery 0 Comments

You are a newly home medical needs parent, and life might be feeling like triage. Your child needs to be catheterized, tube fed, dilated and medicated. They need therapy, glasses, wheelchairs, oxygen, blood transfusions, walkers, cochlear implants, casts, g-tubes and ostomy bags. They’ll need MRIs, IVs, ultrasounds, sleep studies, anesthesia, echocardiograms, X-rays, EEGs, CT scans, …Read More

September 21, 2015 adoption community, Andrea Y., Attachment, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 1 Comments

To help our friends and family understand attachment and our transition, we sent this letter to friends and family just before traveling. Please feel free to personalize if for your family if you are preparing to bring home a little one too… …… Dear Family and Friends, After so much preparing, hoping and waiting – …Read More

September 17, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 0 Comments

Launching a spacecraft into space is one thing. Bringing it back is another. Spacecraft re-entry is tricky business for several reasons. When an object enters the Earth’s atmosphere, it experiences a few forces, including gravity and drag. Gravity will naturally pull an object back to earth. But gravity alone would cause the object to fall …Read More

September 14, 2015 Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, TongguMomma 3 Comments

I used to blog several years ago, but I dropped off the face of the earth when my oldest asked me to cease and desist. Since I want her to still love me when she’s thirty, and since my husband and I don’t want to have to pay for extensive therapy when she’s in her …Read More

September 13, 2015 Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, Rebecca, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, siblings 1 Comments

When newly home two years ago with three year old, Eli, and one year old, Evelyn, life felt turned upside down for such a very long time. A few months in, I found myself focusing more heavily on the changes I was feeling and experiencing than on how my two little ones, who had been …Read More

September 7, 2015 Attachment, attachment activities, cocooning, discipline, first weeks home, first year home, hoarding, orphanage behaviors, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, Sharon, Trust Based Parenting 0 Comments

Continuing our September Series: Coming Home, today Sharon, mom of six from China, shares her thoughts on discipline vs. behavior. Amy shared on the Joy and the Struggle of the first weeks and months home, and Jenny shared on Helping Siblings Bond. You can find all posts in this series here …….   Our family has been to China …Read More

September 5, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, siblings 0 Comments

Lord, this humble house we’d keepSweet with play and calm with sleep.Help us so that we may give Beauty to the lives we live.Let Thy love and let Thy graceShine upon our dwelling place.– Edgar Guest I have that quote framed in our downstairs bathroom. I can’t tell you how many times a week I …Read More

September 4, 2015 cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 1 Comments

A feeling of peace and anticipation washed over me as we began our decent into Nashville, Friday, March 25, 2011. Our time in China was hard physically and emotionally and we were ready to be home. Due to several flight delays, it was almost midnight when we landed, yet we knew that a small group …Read More

August 28, 2015 China trip, feeding challenges, first weeks home, first year home, July/August 2015 Feature - Going to China!, Katie, oral-motor delays, refusing food 1 Comments

When we were adopting our two new daughters we were not really well prepared for what they could or could not eat. We knew one of the girls was severely malnourished, but we did not understand that it was entirely possible that nobody taught them how to eat or drink. Neither of our new daughters …Read More

August 23, 2015 Attachment, first year home, Nicole 0 Comments

It’s been 9 months since Dumpling has been in our arms. It also marks about 6 months of him seeking me out as “mama” and “mom” and “mommy.” I had to work hard for those titles though, they didn’t come easily. For the first couple months, he didn’t refer to me or DH as anything. He simply walked over …Read More

August 20, 2015 Attachment, first year home, hoarding, July/August 2015 Feature - Going to China!, orphanage behaviors 1 Comments

With both of our adoptions, we knew that parenting these children would look a bit different than parenting our biological children. Despite all the trainings and reading prior to the adoption, we ended up desperately re-reading “The Connected Child” on the flight home, trying to piece together some of the strange “orphanage behaviors” our children …Read More

August 5, 2015 first year home, hoarding, orphanage behaviors, Whitney 0 Comments

“If the child is older, he or she may hide toys or hoard food, because that is what they’d do in the orphanage if given the chance” – Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage “Hey, Mom?  I can’t find the container that has the hair clips in it.” My oldest daughter …Read More

June 23, 2015 a father's perspective, Attachment, Bryson, Dads, first year home, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 12 Comments

Of the many conversations we had with our caseworker from the adoption agency, I remember one much more clearly than the others. During this phone call, our caseworker (who, by the way, was amazing) was role playing and asking questions to help us prepare for the day we would meet our daughter, Lydia. One of …Read More

June 5, 2015 first year home, Whitney 2 Comments

How many of us on the finally-at-home side of adoption have thought this thought, uttered this phrase, typed it out on social media, or desperately scribbled it in a journal: “in the trenches today”? I’m guessing more than a few! Before we adopted our daughter, I hadn’t much heard this phrase related to child-rearing, but …Read More

May 25, 2015 Attachment, first year home, Kelly 11 Comments

When I asked you how things were going, you started to cry. Through your tears, you told me how great your new son’s eye contact is, how he likes to be held, how he lets you know what he wants. You told me how everything is really so good, so much better than you were …Read More

May 5, 2015 Attachment, first year home, Whitney 0 Comments

Is it okay to confess here that I’m not that great at math? Is this a safe place to let you know that my brain has just never fully comprehended the mysteries of equations and theorems? It’s too true. I have always felt more of an affinity for words because they can be changed and …Read More

April 3, 2015 April/May 2015 Feature Attachment, Attachment, first year home, Whitney 10 Comments

April is here and with it’s arrival we usher in a new series on No Hands But Ours. This month we will feature posts on attachment. Because bringing a new little person into an already established family isn’t easy. This month we will share real-life stories from mamas going through the attachment struggle at all stages of …Read More

August 27, 2014 Attachment, Carrie, first year home, journey to adoption, microtia 48 Comments

She’s been clawing – literally, until I cut her fingernails – at my legs all day long. Whining and whimpering and the hours go so slow I sometimes wonder if the clock is moving at all. Cora entertains herself, like she does almost every day lately, and I squelch the feelings that I’m letting her …Read More

June 1, 2013 first weeks home, first year home, heart defect, Kam 1 Comments

So the little prince and I were at Target the other day when my phone rang. Our dear friends needed a little help and thought of us… Because she said, “You guys ‘get it!’” And I guess she’s right about that. They have been home from China for six months with their sweet boy and …Read More

October 17, 2012 Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, first year home, Kelley, Newly Home, older child adoption, parent-to-child attachment 0 Comments

One of the most common questions we are asked about the adoption of our older child is whether she spoke any English when we brought her home and/or how we’ve dealt with the language barrier. There are many ways to communicate in those first days, weeks, and months. From playing charades (which didn’t work so …Read More

July 20, 2012 adoptee perspective, first year home, Kelley, Newly Home, older child adoption, telling their life story 5 Comments

On June 27th, our family celebrated our 13-year-old’s first “Gotcha Day” anniversary. As I was writing out my thoughts that day to share on my personal blog, I wondered what might be going on in Caroline’s head as she reflected back over the last 12 months. I explained my blog to her and asked if …Read More

April 25, 2012 Attachment, attachment activities, baby-wearing, China trip, co-sleeping, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, Nancy, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, travel tips 4 Comments

When we were in China, we traveled with several other families. In our travel group, I don’t think I’m exaggerating by saying that we had “the crier.” Unlike the other happy, giggly children in the group who were quick to return their parent’s smile, our sweetie was unhappy much of the time. Despite our efforts, …Read More

March 17, 2012 Attachment, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, Kelley, Newly Home, older child adoption 7 Comments

In just a few weeks, we will celebrate two years since our 3-year-old daughter’s Gotcha Day. In almost every way, it feels like Grace has been in our family since the very beginning of her life. She is not only fluent in English but has an advanced vocabulary (which she shows off in her Southern …Read More

October 7, 2011 Eileen, first year home 0 Comments

September 7, 2011 Chinese Language, Eileen, first year home 0 Comments

July 7, 2011 Eileen, first year home 0 Comments

March 20, 2009 Attachment, first weeks home, first year home 1 Comments

I recently was referred to this article by Deborah Gray and found it very helpful as we adjust to life with our newly adopted toddler. Top Ten Tips For the First Year Of Placement For those who are adopting an older child (2+ years), Susan Ward has also offered ten suggestions to assist you during …Read More