Beauty from Ashes

September 17, 2018 adoption realities, attachment challenges, disruption, first weeks home, mobility issues, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, rages, trauma, wheelchair user 5 Comments

This is a story of trauma and beauty and tears and hopelessness and hope. This is a story of my darkest moments, my greatest growth and the resulting joy. I cannot say that this will be everyone’s story, but I’m praying that you can see the hope in this story even in the darkness. Adoption …Read More

When All This Feels Too Heavy

July 23, 2018 a father's perspective, Dads, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Randall 3 Comments

“We’re not gonna make it.” Maybe you’ve felt that. Maybe you’ve even been so desperate to say it out loud. There are times when you’ve looked around at the carnage and the chaos of your family and social worlds and have thought, “We’re not gonna make it.” Maybe you’re feeling that right now. I hope …Read More

Understanding Early Intervention

March 9, 2018 Brandie, developmental delays, early intervention, Education, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, physical therapy, public school, speech delay, speech therapy 1 Comments

On a Monday morning twenty months ago, I rushed around to tidy my house before an afternoon appointment with an Early Intervention coordinator. At the time, I had no idea what Early Intervention entailed. I just knew that in the brief month that we had known our youngest son, we identified several areas where he …Read More

Post-Adoption Depression: Finding My Way Back

January 25, 2018 attachment challenges, first weeks home, first year home, January 2018 Feature - The Uninvited Guest: Post-Adoption Depression, Newly Home, orphanage behaviors, parent-to-child attachment, post-adoption depression, rejects mom 0 Comments

When I think of depression, I think of sadness, tears, poor appetite, and withdrawing from friends and loved ones. But what I went through was profoundly different. So much so that my family and closest friends didn’t recognize it. And, as the one going through it, I didn’t want to admit it — to myself, …Read More

Post-Adoption Depression: The Perfect Storm

January 23, 2018 Courtney, first weeks home, January 2018 Feature - The Uninvited Guest: Post-Adoption Depression, Newly Home, post-adoption depression 1 Comments

The long wait is over. After more than a year or two of dreaming, planning, and preparing for your child, there he or she sits at your table. The paperwork is done. The trip overseas is completed and now the real journey begins. Far too often this new adventure develops quickly into something many adoptive …Read More

Post-Adoption Depression: Finding Our New Normal

January 13, 2018 2018 Features, first weeks home, first year home, January 2018 Feature - The Uninvited Guest: Post-Adoption Depression, Newly Home, post-adoption depression 3 Comments

After a family’s dossier is logged in and they’re officially LID, our agency provides a resource packet containing information about what to expect in the coming months, different scenarios for Gotcha/Family Day, what travel will look like, and more. When we received that packet for our first adoption, of course, I practically memorized it. That …Read More

Preparing for Adoption: Therapist Q and A Part One

December 12, 2017 Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, Kelly, marriage, Newly Home, October 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption from the Experts, pre-adoption, prepping for China, siblings, TBRI-based therapy, therapy 0 Comments

You’ve dreamt for this day for months, years even. You’ve planned for it, are going to travel halfway around the world for it, and have played it out in your mind a million times. And yet, the reality of becoming a family through adoption is undoubtedly different. As we have focused on Preparing for Adoption, …Read More

What to Expect When You Adopt

November 16, 2017 China trip, first weeks home, Gotcha Day, Newly Home, November 2017 Feature - Preparing for Adoption, Rebecca 6 Comments

When You Adopt, Expect… Your knees to be rubbed raw from time knelt in prayer. That every step of the way, God has something to say, if you’ll only still yourself to listen. That if He is asking you to wait, it is intentional. That your adoption story will be completely unique from everyone else’s, …Read More

Say What?

October 9, 2017 attachment activities, Brandie, early intervention, Education, first weeks home, first year home, hearing aids, hearing loss, Newly Home, sign language, speech delay, speech therapy, undiagnosed SN, velopharyngeal Insufficiency 0 Comments

“I don’t get it,” I said to my friend several years ago when she mentioned she was having her toddler evaluated by an early intervention team to assess his speech. “He’s not even two. He’s a late bloomer!” I assured her. I went on with anecdotes about our first born, now 15, who at two …Read More

Cocooning is Critical: Metamorphosis of the Adopted Child

July 29, 2017 Attachment, attachment activities, baby-wearing, cocooning, discipline, first weeks home, first year home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, Sharon, Trust Based Parenting 2 Comments

“Where are they taking me today? It’s a long way. I’ve never seen all these places. First a car, then a train, plane, but where am I going? I miss my friends. I miss my Ayi.” I’ve often wondered what my children thought when they left the orphanage the day we met them. Could the …Read More

Answers to My Attachment Questions

July 25, 2017 Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, first weeks home, first year home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Kelly, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, Trust Based Parenting 2 Comments

4am this morning. Lydia starts crying, not the kind of crying you can hope just quiets on its own. I mean screaming crying, calling our names, “I’m 100% awake” kind of crying. For the third night in a row, I somehow managed to remove myself from our bed to go in there. And, I wasn’t …Read More

Modified Cocooning: It’s a Small World After All

July 9, 2017 Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, baby-wearing, Brandie, co-sleeping, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment 2 Comments

1. Keep his world small. I scribbled notes furiously onto the pages of the legal pad I kept for adoption related info. This particular page was titled “Attachment and Bonding.” 2. Don’t let others hold your newly adopted child. Check. 3. No hugs or kisses from friends and family. Waves or high fives are ok. …Read More

When They Don’t Choose You

July 7, 2017 Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, bottle feeding, cocooning, Family Stories, first weeks home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Newly Home, rejects mom, Trust Based Parenting 4 Comments

God planted the seed of adoption in my heart when I was still in elementary school. There was a single woman who did foster care and her children were in my brother’s t-ball league. The idea that children didn’t have families blew me away, and I begged my parents to adopt. That was not God’s …Read More

Reflections: Attachment After Two Years Home

July 5, 2017 Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, first weeks home, first year home, holidays, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, parent-to-child attachment, TBRI-based therapy, therapy, Trust Based Parenting, Whitney 1 Comments

We have been home with our daughter for almost two and a half years. My oh my… how that time has seemed to fly. If I’m being completely honest, there are many days when time creeps by at a pace much more snail-like that I’d prefer. Attachment and bonding to a newly adopted child for …Read More

Deeper Than My Feet Could Ever Wander

April 15, 2017 adoption realities, Attachment, attachment challenges, first weeks home, first year home, Megan, parent-to-child attachment 1 Comments

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” – Hillsong I am sure that many of the readers of this post …Read More

The Battle Inside: Parenting a Child with Feeding Challenges

March 31, 2017 failure to thrive, Family Stories, feeding challenges, feeding tube, feeding/swallowing therapy, first weeks home, food issues, H-Pylori, malnourishment, March 2017 Feature - Feeding Challenges, Nutrition, oral aversion, refusing food 0 Comments

We began our adoption journey about three years ago and in that time we completed two separate adoptions. We first traveled to China in 2015 to bring home our son who was just a year old at the time and in 2016 we re-used our dossier bringing home our daughter who had just turned two. …Read More

Crying Over Cheerios: Overcoming Feeding Challenges

March 17, 2017 adopting a boy, Brandie, early intervention, Education, Family Stories, feeding challenges, feeding/swallowing therapy, first weeks home, first year home, March 2017 Feature - Feeding Challenges, Newly Home, oral-motor delays 2 Comments

Where I grew up, food was a love language. I learned at a very young age that food was the center of any worthwhile gathering. I remember once in the sweltering heat of a Mississippi summer, we attended a family reunion. It was a potluck, and table after table was overflowing with plates of styrofoam …Read More

Confessions of a Former China Director Turned Adoptive Mom

January 24, 2017 adopting a boy, Attachment, attachment activities, cognitive delay, complex medical, developmental delays, Developmental System, Family Stories, first weeks home, first year home, low muscle tone, Newly Home, should we adopt? 8 Comments

Alternately titled: What I wish I would have known, and what I would like to share with other adoptive families I first started out with adoption in 2004 when I was just 21 years old. It was the summer before my senior year of college when I got a job as an intern at All …Read More

So Much More than His Diagnosis

November 30, 2016 first weeks home, first year home, hypospadias, Newly Home, November 2016 Feature - Urogenital, Urogenital System 0 Comments

I could write for days about our journey — our growth, the process, the joy, the tears, the worries, the peace. But for today, I’ll focus a little on the medical aspect of our story because there are so many unknowns, so much research, so much hope…..and knowing you’re not alone in it helps, if …Read More

How to Find Your Tribe

August 25, 2016 a father's perspective, adoption community, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Perspectives, Randall 0 Comments

“Your people are my people, your God my God. Not even death itself is going to come between us.” Ruth 1:16-17 When we started the adoption process, we were not even considering Down syndrome. It was too scary. In fact, the irony of it, is we decided our cut-off for having bio kids was age …Read More

A Treasured Son: Adopting a Child with Cleft Lip and Palate

July 18, 2016 adopting a boy, cl/cp, Craniofacial, feeding challenges, first weeks home, July 2016 Feature - Craniofacial, Newly Home 6 Comments

I like to say our son, Bo, is an answer to a prayer I didn’t even know I had until we began the process to adopt him. ……. In 2004, my husband, Peet, and I became parents for the first time in a courtroom in Tomsk, Siberia, to a beautiful baby girl. Then in 2010, …Read More

Different Than What We Asked for, Better Than We Imagined

June 20, 2016 adopting a boy, Central Nervous System, cerebral palsy, Family Stories, first weeks home, Megan, Newly Home, pre-adoption, referral, should we adopt?, waiting for referral 5 Comments

When considering the orphans of China, many think of the the one child policy and specifically the incredible amount of girls that were abandoned as a result. When my husband and I began our adoption process we too thought that it was the girls most in need of homes and loving families. Like many others, …Read More

One Day

May 5, 2016 adoption realities, Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Whitney 1 Comments

Dear little boy of mine, We knew before we brought your sister home you might struggle a bit. We prepared you for this transition as best we could, using all of the information we could obtain. We talked using big words you couldn’t yet fully understand, words your heart wanted to understand. We prayed for …Read More

16 Ways to Prepare During the Wait

May 2, 2016 first weeks home, International Adoption Clinic, Jennifer B., Newly Home, referral, waiting for referral, waiting to travel 4 Comments

Those who have adopted, as well as those currently knee deep in the adoption process, know all about a little thing called waiting. Only it really is not a little thing; it is a big, difficult thing. The good news is that although the wait is hard, it gives families the opportunity to prepare for …Read More

International Adoption Clinics: Services and Locations

April 29, 2016 first weeks home, first year home, International Adoption Clinic, Jennifer B., Newly Home, referral, waiting for referral, waiting to travel 4 Comments

I can still remember getting ‘the call’ during our first adoption process. Our agency coordinator was on the phone and they had a file for us to review. I remember the many different emotions I felt as we opened the file and photos and began to read. Within an hour of opening the file I …Read More

This is Real Life

March 13, 2016 adoption realities, Amy A., Attachment, attachment activities, first weeks home, first year home 2 Comments

When my husband and I stepped across the chasm – our old life on one side and our new life on the other – we had no idea what awaited us. Three and a half years later, we have a better understanding of the world we entered after saying Yes to adoption. So, in honor …Read More

A Tribute to Primrose

February 25, 2016 adoption realities, first weeks home, glaucoma, Newly Home, Sensory System, vision issues, vision loss 4 Comments

Eryn is married to Chris and they have two bio kids – Madelyn and River – in addition to their new daughter, Primrose, who just came home from China. This was Eryn’s tribute to adoption on Primrose’s 2nd birthday. ………. These are mama eyes that only shut for 4 hours last night. And hands that …Read More

Victories from the Valley: An Unexpected Journey in Adopting a Child with NF1

February 18, 2016 adoption realities, cocooning, Family Stories, first weeks home, glaucoma, neurofibromatosis, NF1, older child adoption, parent-to-child attachment 2 Comments

We had been home from China with our first daughter almost five months when we saw her picture: a sweet face with a deep downcast shown in her eyes. She was six years old. Her file had been passed over by a few families already because of the uncertainties of her medical condition. One eye …Read More

Kaleidoscope: One Year Home

February 5, 2016 first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Whitney 0 Comments

Today our family celebrates our One Year Home anniversary! I’ve often imagined what it would be like if I could travel back in time to those early days; what would I say to myself? What words of encouragement would One-Year-Home-Me have to say to Me-From-A-Year-Ago? This is how I imagine it would go… //// Hi …Read More

The Middle of the Road

December 5, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, Whitney 0 Comments

I survived a half marathon a few weeks ago. That’s right. SURVIVED. I trained for it for MONTHS. Really! Since July, a friend and I had been diligently setting our alarm clocks and waking long before the sun rose to hit the pavement. The morning of the race dawned warm and sticky. November in South …Read More

A Prescription for Holiday Success

November 5, 2015 Attachment, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, holidays, Whitney 0 Comments

This is our first round of fall/winter holidays with our daughter. If Halloween was any indicator at all, I know that the next two months are going to be filled with wondering… • what should we do? • how should we celebrate? • how do I explain to others why we do or don’t do …Read More

The What, Why and How of International Adoption Clinics

November 4, 2015 China trip, first weeks home, International Adoption Clinic, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, referral 2 Comments

International Adoption Clinics (IACs) were initially founded by a group of adoptive parents who were also physicians. We saw a huge gap in the health care given to our own internationally adopted children. Before IACs opened their doors we were trying to see international adoptees by squeezing them into the 15 minute or less appointment …Read More

From the Pediatrician: 10 Things Parents Should Know

October 27, 2015 China trip, first weeks home, Newly Home, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, travel tips 0 Comments

When we traveled to China in September of 2014 to adopt our son, we took a car seat and a vest that can be used as a restraint device for car travel – the guides loved the extra 10-15 minutes we took loading up our kids. I took along so much medication that I almost …Read More

Be the Village

October 23, 2015 first weeks home, Medical Momma, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, Rebecca, supporting adoptive families, surgery 2 Comments

“Let me know what I can do.” 

We make the offer to newly home adoptive families and families facing medical challenges or hospital stays. We all say it, and mean it, but we know they won’t take us up on. Not a matter of gratitude, help offers are always appreciated. And support is likely needed, …Read More

Adoption and How Neighbors, Friends and Family Kept Me Sane

October 17, 2015 Down syndrome, first weeks home, first year home, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, supporting adoptive families 3 Comments

While still in the baby steps of adoption, we stumbled into the realm of special needs adoptions, specifically Down syndrome. Although our initial plan was to adopt domestically, we discovered the Bamboo Project (a program committed to finding families for children in China with Down syndrome). And when I saw our daughter’s photo, I knew …Read More

It Takes a Village: A Letter From a Newly Home Family

October 13, 2015 cocooning, first weeks home, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, supporting adoptive families 7 Comments

Dearest Family and Friends, As you may know, we are about to deplane. Yes, we have returned with our precious cargo. We cannot wait to take a shower see you. You may not recognize our tribe at this point, as we have just survived the travel version of the Spartan race. This is what’s left, …Read More

Coming Home: There is a Season

September 28, 2015 Attachment, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 3 Comments

Bringing our little girl home from China was all that we had thought it would be: hard, messy, loud, heart-breaking, joyful, hopeful, exciting, exhausting, and worth it! Adoption is born out of tragedy. It is gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, and HARD. Our babies come from a place filled with unspeakable loss and trauma. Yet, God takes all …Read More

Coming Home: Tips for Medical Needs Parents

September 23, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, Medical Momma, Rebecca, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, surgery 0 Comments

You are a newly home medical needs parent, and life might be feeling like triage. Your child needs to be catheterized, tube fed, dilated and medicated. They need therapy, glasses, wheelchairs, oxygen, blood transfusions, walkers, cochlear implants, casts, g-tubes and ostomy bags. They’ll need MRIs, IVs, ultrasounds, sleep studies, anesthesia, echocardiograms, X-rays, EEGs, CT scans, …Read More

Coming Home: A Letter to Friends and Family

September 21, 2015 adoption community, Andrea Y., Attachment, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 1 Comments

To help our friends and family understand attachment and our transition, we sent this letter to friends and family just before traveling. Please feel free to personalize if for your family if you are preparing to bring home a little one too… …… Dear Family and Friends, After so much preparing, hoping and waiting – …Read More

Coming Home: Re-entry

September 17, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 0 Comments

Launching a spacecraft into space is one thing. Bringing it back is another. Spacecraft re-entry is tricky business for several reasons. When an object enters the Earth’s atmosphere, it experiences a few forces, including gravity and drag. Gravity will naturally pull an object back to earth. But gravity alone would cause the object to fall …Read More

5 Things I Wish I’d Known 10 Years Ago

September 14, 2015 Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, TongguMomma 3 Comments

I used to blog several years ago, but I dropped off the face of the earth when my oldest asked me to cease and desist. Since I want her to still love me when she’s thirty, and since my husband and I don’t want to have to pay for extensive therapy when she’s in her …Read More

A Letter From Us

September 13, 2015 Attachment, first weeks home, first year home, Rebecca, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, siblings 1 Comments

When newly home two years ago with three year old, Eli, and one year old, Evelyn, life felt turned upside down for such a very long time. A few months in, I found myself focusing more heavily on the changes I was feeling and experiencing than on how my two little ones, who had been …Read More

Coming Home: Cocooning

September 9, 2015 Amy A., Attachment, China trip, cocooning, first weeks home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 4 Comments

You’ve made the exciting decision to adopt. Congratulations! At this stage, you are either waiting to be matched with a child, or you are longing to hold your son or daughter each time you see your child’s precious pictures. The adoption journey is two-fold. First, you paper chase and wait to bring your child home. …Read More

Coming Home: Discipline or Behavior?

September 7, 2015 Attachment, attachment activities, cocooning, discipline, first weeks home, first year home, hoarding, orphanage behaviors, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, Sharon, Trust Based Parenting 0 Comments

Continuing our September Series: Coming Home, today Sharon, mom of six from China, shares her thoughts on discipline vs. behavior. Amy shared on the Joy and the Struggle of the first weeks and months home, and Jenny shared on Helping Siblings Bond. You can find all posts in this series here …….   Our family has been to China …Read More

Coming Home: Helping Siblings Bond

September 5, 2015 first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, siblings 0 Comments

Lord, this humble house we’d keepSweet with play and calm with sleep.Help us so that we may give Beauty to the lives we live.Let Thy love and let Thy graceShine upon our dwelling place.– Edgar Guest I have that quote framed in our downstairs bathroom. I can’t tell you how many times a week I …Read More

Coming Home: {the Joy and the Struggle}

September 4, 2015 cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home 1 Comments

A feeling of peace and anticipation washed over me as we began our decent into Nashville, Friday, March 25, 2011. Our time in China was hard physically and emotionally and we were ready to be home. Due to several flight delays, it was almost midnight when we landed, yet we knew that a small group …Read More

Going to China: Feeding Concerns

August 28, 2015 China trip, feeding challenges, first weeks home, first year home, July/August 2015 Feature - Going to China!, Katie, oral-motor delays, refusing food 1 Comments

When we were adopting our two new daughters we were not really well prepared for what they could or could not eat. We knew one of the girls was severely malnourished, but we did not understand that it was entirely possible that nobody taught them how to eat or drink. Neither of our new daughters …Read More

Faith in Action: My Journey Through a Second Adoption

June 9, 2015 adopting again, Amy A., first weeks home 0 Comments

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been blogging every day on my personal blog, My Passionate Balance, about our trip to China to adopt our son, Tyson. This was my family’s second adoption from China in addition to our two biological sons. Now, I am the proud momma of four beautiful boys! How …Read More

miles to go

June 1, 2013 first weeks home, first year home, heart defect, Kam 1 Comments

So the little prince and I were at Target the other day when my phone rang. Our dear friends needed a little help and thought of us… Because she said, “You guys ‘get it!’” And I guess she’s right about that. They have been home from China for six months with their sweet boy and …Read More

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