Lessons Learned from an Internal Processor

November 23, 2018 a father's perspective, Dads, developmental delays, Developmental System, Down syndrome, Lifelong needs, October 2018 Feature - Developmental, Perspectives, Randall, should we adopt? 0 Comments

Down syndrome is scary. I said that to myself five years ago. It took me awhile to admit it. But I was pretty opposed to all lifelong diagnoses. I had very little information about Down syndrome back then. And the information gaps gave my imagination plenty of space to run freely. I saw the shadows …Read More

When All This Feels Too Heavy

July 23, 2018 a father's perspective, Dads, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Randall 3 Comments

“We’re not gonna make it.” Maybe you’ve felt that. Maybe you’ve even been so desperate to say it out loud. There are times when you’ve looked around at the carnage and the chaos of your family and social worlds and have thought, “We’re not gonna make it.” Maybe you’re feeling that right now. I hope …Read More

Three Shifts Any Church Can Make Right Now To Prioritize Adoption

April 25, 2018 a father's perspective, adoption community, Dads, other ways to care for the orphan, Randall 0 Comments

I know many of us are part of great churches. In an ideal world, you probably feel supported and loved all the way through the process and post-placement. If you find yourself in one of these churches, your pastor has probably talked from stage on a regular basis about the value of adoption. They know …Read More

When I Feel Like a Failure at Winning

March 11, 2018 a father's perspective, adoption realities, Dads, Randall 4 Comments

I’m training for a half marathon. Actually, I’m starting today. And what I mean by that is, I downloaded an app today that tells me what I need to do. I look at Pins of runners and what forty-year-old dads can look like if they put in the work. I know how I want to …Read More

How To Trust When God Changes Course

October 10, 2017 a father's perspective, adoption community, Randall 3 Comments

I wish I could tell you it was easy… what you’re about to do… I want to. I want to sell you. Because it sounds like such an easy thing to sell. But I can’t do it. I can’t. I want to but I can’t. Because what you’re about to do is one of the …Read More

How To Regain Margin for Your Marriage

August 27, 2017 a father's perspective, adoption community, books, Dads, marriage, Randall 1 Comments

Randall and Kelley Nichols live in Coastal Virginia with their five kids. They’ve been in ministry for over twenty years serving couples and families. Recently they celebrated the release of their first book, Prayers of a Village, a 30-day devotional for adoptive parents. Learn more here. ….. Look… There are countless marriage resources out there. …Read More

When Enough Is Enough

July 28, 2017 a father's perspective, Dads, Randall 8 Comments

I’m not overwhelmed and throwing in the towel. Not yet. Not exactly. I really want to talk about our clawing for more. For constant progress. For trying to be the best or at least better than you are. The question I’m asking myself and I’m asking you is this: “What if exactly what you are, …Read More

How to Leave a Legacy for Your Children

June 24, 2017 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2017 Feature - Thoughts From The Dad, Perspectives, Randall 0 Comments

I’ll never forget it as long as live. When I was little, my family would travel from Alabama to North Georgia at the end of every summer to visit my great grandparents. My great grandfather, Wiley was his name, lived on a hillside off US Highway 27. He was the original DIYer. There was nothing …Read More

For Life: What Happened When We Killed Our Dreams

May 26, 2017 a father's perspective, ASD, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, feeding challenges, heart defect, May 2017 Feature - For Life, medical needs checklist, Randall, should we adopt? 3 Comments

Finish high school. Graduate from college. Get a job. Get married. Have a couple kids. Maybe even adopt one. Send them all to college. Celebrate their weddings. Spoil the grandkids. Retire. That’s the plan. Well… that was the plan. When I was getting ready to finish high school, I realized I had no idea what …Read More

Stay the course. Help is on the way.

April 27, 2017 a father's perspective, adoption community, orphan ministry, Randall 2 Comments

In an article posted by on orangeblogs.com it’s noted that 90% of people with special needs do not attend church. A study concluded in 2014 shows that 1 in 6 people in the US have a diagnosed special need. That means for my small city of 160,000 people there are roughly 26,000 with a diagnosed …Read More

Three Simple Essentials for Your Hospital Stay

March 29, 2017 a father's perspective, February 2017 Feature - Preparing Your Child for Medical Interventions, hospital stays, Randall, surgery 0 Comments

We live in a wonderful country. It doesn’t always feel wonderful, but when we realize how easily accessible basic healthcare is for us we are reminded that it truly is a privilege to call this place home. Many of the children in our adoption communities have been given a shot at a better life because …Read More

How to Know When It’s Time to Adopt

January 30, 2017 a father's perspective, adopting again, Dads, January 2017 Feature - Reluctant Spouses, Perspectives, pre-adoption, Randall, reluctant husband, should we adopt? 3 Comments

January last year, my wife sat across the couch from me as we do most every night. She has a way of asking a question that doesn’t leave you alone, even after you’ve answered it. The lights in the living room were dim and an episode of The Office was playing in the background. I was …Read More

The Greatest Fear of Every Dad

October 25, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Perspectives, Randall, should we adopt? 2 Comments

The morning was cool. The sounds of the city were waking up. But they hadn’t slept a wink last night. They huddled together under cover of night making the final plans for their new life. For years they’ve been overwhelmed by a life dictated by someone else’s dream. Forced to work for an ideal that …Read More

How to Find Your Tribe

August 25, 2016 a father's perspective, adoption community, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, first weeks home, first year home, Newly Home, Perspectives, Randall 0 Comments

“Your people are my people, your God my God. Not even death itself is going to come between us.” Ruth 1:16-17 When we started the adoption process, we were not even considering Down syndrome. It was too scary. In fact, the irony of it, is we decided our cut-off for having bio kids was age …Read More

You Can Do Hard Things

June 19, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Randall 2 Comments

About two months ago I stared at the number on the scale beneath my feet. I’d never seen a number that big before. Maybe the scale needed to be calibrated. Surely this wasn’t right. I stepped off. Calibrated it. Set a 10 pound dumbbell on it to confirm it’s accuracy. Then I stepped back on. …Read More

When Jesus Tells You What To Do

April 25, 2016 orphan prevention, orphanage realities, Randall, should we adopt? 3 Comments

A Hot Mess This week I got into a conversation about these two big ideas called expiation and propitiation. Sounds fun, right? Don’t worry, I’m not going to open up the discussion here. It’s really boring unless you’re a theology nerd. For sure, it’s an important doctrine, but how important? Important enough to argue over? …Read More

What Will This Do To Your Kids

February 24, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, Randall, sibling perspective 6 Comments

SHUT YOUR MOUTH We had a striking revelation the other day. When we began talking about our adoption roadmap, we had decided we would start the process when we turned thirty-five years old because women who get pregnant after thirty-five statistically have a 1 in 400 chance of having a child with Down syndrome. And …Read More

Three Ways the Church Can Support Adoptive Families

October 25, 2015 a father's perspective, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, orphan ministry, Randall, supporting adoptive families 7 Comments

A MOST NEEDED ASSET According to research data, of the tens of millions of families who have considered adoption, only 5% have walked the process through to completion. Certainly, there are a number of reasons for this. Psychology Today notes financial burden, obstacles, legal red tape, and emotional turmoil as the leading deterrents in completing …Read More

Seven Things I Learned from the Adoption Process

June 12, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, Down syndrome, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, Randall 2 Comments

Hey Dads. First of all, I know you’re probably a little scared. It’s okay. You don’t have to admit it, at least not yet. Just know that there’s somebody out there who gets what you’re going through. We’ve all felt it. Trust me, you’ll find a way to lead your family through the process. Take …Read More

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