The Story of You Before Us: Writing an Adoption Lifebook

September 23, 2017 attachment activities, birth family, Chinese Culture, embracing their story, protecting their story, telling their life story 2 Comments

I often see posts in the various adoption groups I am in where parents are looking for suggestions for favorite adoption themed books for their waiting or newly home children. While in process for our first daughter to come home from China, we received a list of children’s books that addressed adoption during one of …Read More

1,000 Ways to Lose a Father

June 23, 2017 birth family, Carrie, Dads, telling their life story 0 Comments

In the days after Father’s Day, I’ve been thinking… there are a thousand ways to lose a father. My youngest girl will probably never know the man who gave her the curve of her smile; the crinkle in her nose; her ability to cross her eyes to seemingly impossible degrees when she’s being silly. Truthfully, …Read More

Love Stories: My Happily Ever After

April 19, 2017 adoptee perspective, April 2017 Feature - Love Stories, birth family, foster care, older child adoption, orphanage realities, telling their life story 4 Comments

We are so quick to fill in the blanks, aren’t we? We get one part of a story, and we use our imagination to complete the rest. But it’s too simplistic to do that with the care of orphaned children halfway around the world… to see an image and create a tragic narrative, hear a …Read More

The Nativity

December 11, 2016 adoption realities, Amy A., birth family, Christmas, telling their life story 2 Comments

Christmas. The word alone evokes so many memories, so many emotions from my childhood. Smells, tastes, laughter, and songs fill my mind, and the little girl inside me can feel the excitement and anticipation of Christmas drawing near. I can close my eyes and remember the sprinkles upon sprinkles being poured over sugar cookies doused …Read More

Why We Won’t Be Seeing Finding Dory on the Big Screen

June 23, 2016 birth family, Kelly, movies, telling their life story 41 Comments

*updated to add: due to the wide readership of this post, and the resulting comments, a follow-up post can be found here. Debuting on the 17th, Finding Dory has blown box office records out of the water, making its debut the highest grossing one for animated movies ever. It’s as if the crowds have been …Read More

Eyes, Nose, Fingers, and Toes

April 9, 2016 Amy A., birth family, DNA and genetic testing 4 Comments

I’ll never forget the moment when I first saw each of my four sons. After 16 hours of labor, my doctor placed Noah on my chest, and I simply marveled at the beautiful gift I had just received. I delivered Liam in the water, and while holding his tiny, slippery body in my heads, I …Read More

Hero and Rescuer

November 30, 2015 adoptee perspective, adult adoptee, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story 0 Comments

“Why don’t you look like me, Daddy?” “When did I come out of your tummy, Mommy?” “Why did my “real” Mom not want me?” “So, you are still my real parents, or are they my parents?” “Will you ever leave me?” If you are an adoptive father or mother, questions like these from your child …Read More

Embracing Her Story: Sarah

November 20, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, Jean, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, older child adoption, telling their life story 0 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

When Tragic Pasts Meet Hopeful Futures

November 19, 2015 birth family, Katie, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

Our children have stories that are a paradox of tragedy and beauty, of despair and hope. There is no easy answer to their stories. It’s complicated and so the way we handle it is complicated, and ever evolving. Children are beautiful. They are full of hope and they believe in miracles. They believe in unicorns, …Read More

Embracing Her Story: Ellie

November 12, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

You Came Home on an Airplane

November 11, 2015 Amy, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 0 Comments

I remember talking with our social worker almost four years ago about things that would come up in conversation with our adopted child someday; more specifically – “what will you tell her about how she came to be yours?” At the time we were 9 months away from receiving her referral, therefore we didn’t know …Read More

Embracing Their Story: This is My Daughter

November 5, 2015 birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 9 Comments

“Ma’am! Ma’am! You are forgetting your baby!!!” The Disney store clerk could not have been more panicked in her sincere guttural cry for this family to come back and retrieve their beautiful Asian daughter that they had so clumsily left behind. Just as primal was the sound that came from my throat as I realized …Read More

Diving Deep

November 3, 2015 birth family, Jennifer, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story 0 Comments

I think you can have all the plans in the world about how you are going to talk to your child about their adoption and the truth is, when they are ready to talk, you have to just go where they go. And fast. I’ve come to think about it like a child who has …Read More

Dear Birthparents, Our Missing Villagers,

October 31, 2015 birth family, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, Rebecca 6 Comments

The village it’s taken to build our family is a wide circle. It took a village of family, friends, adoption agencies, social workers, US and Chinese government agencies, donors, an adoption support group, grant ministries and orphan advocates to get our three China babies home. It took a village of nannies, nurses, a healing home, …Read More

Mothers Day

May 11, 2015 Amy, birth family 2 Comments

I know it’s really spelled “Mother’s Day”. Everyone knows that. The apostrophe means it’s a day for a Mother. It’s her day. It’s the day to reflect on what a Mother means to their child. It’s a day to remember a Mother or a Grandmother who is no longer with us and how her life …Read More

out of the darkness

February 27, 2015 Attachment, birth family, Carrie 3 Comments

I don’t think I will ever be the mom who believes God’s original and best plan for my daughter was for her to be in my home. I realize that’s a controversial statement, and perhaps many of the people reading this will feel something bristle inside of them as they think about their own precious …Read More

Bootiful

December 9, 2013 birth family, Nancy, protecting their story, telling their life story 1 Comments

Tess: I remember my first mama. My mama in beitnam. Me: Oh you do? Tess: She looked like an angel, but she didn’t have any wings. She wore a white dress, and she was bootiful. Me: I imagine that your Vietnam mama was very beautiful, just like you. Tess: And I love her. And at …Read More

Part II {Genetic analysis: to test or not to test}

October 9, 2013 birth family, developmental delays, DNA and genetic testing, Nancy 1 Comments

{Part I, Dark brown hair, Light brown hair is here} It’s discussed pretty regularly in the adoption community. To test or not to test. Now just to make sure we’re all on the same page here, I’m not talking about genetic testing as advised by your doctor for medical reasons. I’m talking about genetic analysis …Read More

Light Brown Hair :: Dark Brown Hair

September 9, 2013 birth family, Nancy, telling their life story 6 Comments

I was putting Tess’s hair into pig tails, getting her ready for school and tying bows in her piggies. We live in a Caucasian community bombarded with messages about what beauty is, and in its absence what it is not, in every magazine, billboard, and television commercial. I figure I need to counter balance the …Read More

Dear Cheeky, I Love You

March 31, 2011 albinism, birth family, older child adoption, Shirlee 0 Comments

Nine birthdays minus seven birthdays equals two birthdays. And Cheeky counts them. Last year. This year. Just as she counted her gifts this morning and noted that she had two more than she did on her eighth birthday. Does that mean we love her more now than we did then? Probably didn’t even cross her …Read More

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