Attachment: My Bumpy Journey Into Motherhood
July 12, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Faith, first year home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, rejects mom, Trust Based Parenting
I’ve started to write this post many times. Each attempt has found me closing my computer, and telling myself that this part of my story is too real, or too raw, or maybe just too much. But over and over again, as I’ve spoken to moms who are living out this journey, I realize that …Read More
Modified Cocooning: It’s a Small World After All
July 9, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, baby-wearing, Brandie, co-sleeping, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment
1. Keep his world small. I scribbled notes furiously onto the pages of the legal pad I kept for adoption related info. This particular page was titled “Attachment and Bonding.” 2. Don’t let others hold your newly adopted child. Check. 3. No hugs or kisses from friends and family. Waves or high fives are ok. …Read More
When They Don’t Choose You
July 7, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, bottle feeding, cocooning, Family Stories, first weeks home, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, Newly Home, rejects mom, Trust Based Parenting
God planted the seed of adoption in my heart when I was still in elementary school. There was a single woman who did foster care and her children were in my brother’s t-ball league. The idea that children didn’t have families blew me away, and I begged my parents to adopt. That was not God’s …Read More
Reflections: Attachment After Two Years Home
July 5, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, first weeks home, first year home, holidays, July 2017 Feature - All About Attachment, parent-to-child attachment, TBRI-based therapy, therapy, Trust Based Parenting, Whitney
We have been home with our daughter for almost two and a half years. My oh my… how that time has seemed to fly. If I’m being completely honest, there are many days when time creeps by at a pace much more snail-like that I’d prefer. Attachment and bonding to a newly adopted child for …Read More
What is Attachment?
June 25, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Attachment Disorder, Kelly, RAD, TBRI-based therapy, Trust Based Parenting
Attachment. It’s a buzz word. Outside the adoption world, people probably have heard it paired with the word parenting to refer to a lifestyle of co-sleeping with toddlers and discouraging mothers and fathers from the cry-it-out method to get their infants to sleep through the night. But, attachment at its core is way more than …Read More
Beyond “Surviving” Summer
June 7, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, TBRI-based therapy, therapy, Whitney
Because sometimes (often times) kids who have come from hard places require more structure than the typical kid, I thought I’d share the schedule our family is using to help bring in structure where structure might not previously exist. I cannot take full credit for this; to be honest, I’d probably be floundering, knowing we …Read More
Not-A-Baby-Anymore, But Still My Baby
June 3, 2017
adopting a boy, adopting again, adopting as first time parents, Attachment, attachment activities, co-sleeping, cocooning, Faith, parent-to-child attachment, Trust Based Parenting
We still co-sleep. That’s right. My 3.5 year old, not-a-baby-anymore, rapidly growing in every way, sweetest little boy still sleeps smack dab in the middle of our California King sized bed. (My husband is 6’5”, so that pretty much predetermined the bed size for us, but, yes I do recommend a big bed if you …Read More
Conquering Oral Aversions
May 4, 2017
attachment activities, cleft lip, cleft palate, feeding/swallowing therapy, March 2017 Feature - Feeding Challenges, oral aversion, oral-motor delays, refusing food, Sensory Processing Issues, speech therapy
Originally posted on Under the Sycamore When we arrived in China (almost 5 years ago), I thought she would try new foods pretty quickly. She didn’t. I thought once she was settled in at home, she’d be ready. She wasn’t. After several months of no progress, I joked that I was sure she’d eat a …Read More
From Death to Life
April 18, 2017
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Attachment Disorder, indiscriminate affection, older child adoption, parent-to-child attachment, rages, rejects mom, therapy, trauma
I glanced at the clock. It was 2:50. I felt my shoulders tighten involuntarily and a sick feeling start in my stomach. In 15 minutes, the most difficult part of my day would start: my daughter would walk through the door. It was the part of the day I dreaded the most. I wasn’t an …Read More
When My Non-Verbal Daughter Dreamed About a Butterfly
April 14, 2017
ASL, Attachment, attachment activities, developmental delays, Developmental System, low muscle tone, non-verbal, sign language
Talking is my strong suit. I love to talk. My grandmothers would both comment on my ability to talk, even at a very young age. I remember being at a Shoney’s (a restaurant) when I was around five or six years old. My grandmother shushed me several times. It was then I realized how much …Read More
Family Therapy: The Beginning
April 5, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Kelly, TBRI-based therapy, therapy, Trust Based Parenting, Whitney
Everyone said the first year was the hardest. They said that attachment takes time; relationships would grow; I needed to be patient. I listened. Year One passed, and I exhaled, a deep sigh, knowing that the worst was behind us. Except it wasn’t. Year Two progressed, and I became puzzled. Why wasn’t it getting better? …Read More
Never Let Go
March 27, 2017
Andrea O., Attachment, attachment activities
“Never let go, Mommy. Never let go.” It took my breath away when my youngest said that as she threw her arms around my neck when I picked her up. As she burrowed her head into my neck, she kept whispering it with her warm cheek pressed firmly against mine, and her little hands grasping …Read More
One Year.
March 2, 2017
adopting a boy, Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, Family Stories, first year home, Megan, Newly Home, orphanage behaviors, parent-to-child attachment
We have been home one year as of January 10, 2017, and I can finally say that I love him. I can’t tell you when exactly it happened. There was not a lightening bolt moment. Nor was there an instant bond or attachment from the moment we met. I spent the better part of our …Read More
Confessions of a Former China Director Turned Adoptive Mom
January 24, 2017
adopting a boy, Attachment, attachment activities, cognitive delay, complex medical, developmental delays, Developmental System, Family Stories, first weeks home, first year home, low muscle tone, Newly Home, should we adopt?
Alternately titled: What I wish I would have known, and what I would like to share with other adoptive families I first started out with adoption in 2004 when I was just 21 years old. It was the summer before my senior year of college when I got a job as an intern at All …Read More
Feeding Challenges, Attachment and Trust-Based Parenting
January 2, 2017
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, feeding challenges, feeding/swallowing therapy, Newly Home, oral aversion, refusing food, Sensory Processing Issues, Trust Based Parenting
My introduction to the world of feeding challenges coincided with me becoming a mother. My firstborn son – a perfect, squishy newborn – refused to eat. He had no physical limitations or reasons for refusing food, he just didn’t see the need nor possess the desire to fulfill his hunger by eating. The first six …Read More
Then and Now: Deklan
December 3, 2016
adopting a boy, Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, November 2016 Feature - Then and Now, profound deafness, rejects mom
I find myself consistently caught in the deceptive trap of a compare and contrast representation of the last 345 days. Through the lens of retrospection, milestones can be simple to compartmentalize. I quickly disregard the messy tentacles that stretch from each “attained” behavior and stamp it “victorious”. I am learning that adoption carries an oceanic …Read More
From School Psychologist to Adoptive Mama: A Series Part Two (Trust Based Relational Intervention)
November 11, 2016
Amy A., Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, discipline, parent-to-child attachment, TBRI DVD Series, Trust Based Parenting
Because the majority of our NHBO readers are parents who have adopted children through the special needs program in China, part one of this series was an introduction to special education. My goal for that post was for parents to feel empowered by knowing their child’s rights. I shared links regarding the special education law …Read More
When Mom Works: Working and Attachment
October 14, 2016
Attachment, attachment activities, Courtney, first year home, October 2016 Feature - Working Moms, working mom
Navigating work and being a mom is tough under the best of circumstances, but it can feel even more daunting when you toss in the complex issues that accompany parenting your newly adopted child. So this month on No Hands But Ours, some been-there-done-that working mamas are here to help, with advice on everything from …Read More
Down Syndrome, Sign Language and Adoption
October 6, 2016
ASL, Attachment, attachment activities, Developmental System, Down syndrome, Family Stories, non-verbal, October 2016 Feature - Developmental, sign language, speech delay
When our oldest daughter, Reagan, was a baby, I had every intention of teaching her sign language. I had researched the benefits, both for parents and children, and was excited to go down that road. But then life happened, sleepless nights and other duties prevailed, and we never pursued it further.
Our middle daughter, Reese, …Read More
Making the Grade: Choosing a Classical Approach
September 23, 2016
attachment activities, attachment challenges, cocooning, Education, homeschool, indiscriminate affection, Nicole, September 2016 Feature - Back to School
Our decision to homeschool began like many other families’ journeys, I’m sure. We wanted to give our children a Biblical worldview, be a bigger part of their lives (no parents ever regret spending too much time with their children!), and have the freedom to choose our studies based on individual interests. We also hoped to …Read More
Sign Language and Adoption: The 10 Signs You Need To Know
August 31, 2016
ASL, Attachment, attachment activities, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, China trip, prepping for China, sign language, travel tips
My name is Becky Lloyd and God called me “to coordinate the adoption of deaf orphans in the world” on March 18, 2008. Signs for Hope, Inc. (SFH) is an all-volunteer non-profit organization that was established to carry out that call and exists to share the hope of Christ by providing care for deaf orphans …Read More
Sign Language and Adoption: Getting Started
August 28, 2016
ASL, Attachment, attachment activities, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, sign language, speech delay
You might think that sign language is only for children who are deaf or hard of hearing. We’d like to encourage you to reconsider. Signing is an incredibly valuable tool in any adoptive parent’s tool belt. It makes communicating with your newly adopted child exponentially easier – no matter their age or special need. And …Read More
Sign Language and Adoption: The Gift of Communication
August 23, 2016
attachment activities, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, Developmental System, Down syndrome, prepping for China, sign language, speech delay, waiting to travel
You’ve made the decision to adopt. Your homestudy is underway or maybe even finished. You’ve taken adoption classes and read book after book. You’ve worked hard to prepare your home, your family and your hearts to bring your little one home. But what about communication? Have you prepared to communicate with your child? For most …Read More
When God Honors Our “Yes”: Our Sign Language Journey, Part Two
August 21, 2016
ASL, Attachment, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, BAHA, cl/cp, cochlear implants, hearing loss, profound deafness, Sensory System, sign language
In Part one I described how the adoption of our daughter, Ava, born with cleft lip and palate and deafness, set us on a journey to become skilled in sign language. Our desire to support her ability to communicate with others led us on a roller-coaster of experiences and emotions, which culminated in our decision …Read More
Going Through It: Navigating Scary and Hard Things
August 12, 2016
Amy, Attachment, China trip, sign language, Trust Based Parenting
We met in an alley in XinJiang. For her, the 14 days prior to our meeting consisted of 12 days in a Beijing hospital, 10 of them being in ICU alone. No nanny, no person, no mama. Just alone. IV in the head, arms restrained, and a diaper rash that was really a bedsore when …Read More
When God Honors Our “Yes”: Our Sign Language Journey, Part One
August 10, 2016
adopting as first time parents, ASL, Attachment, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, cl/cp, cochlear implants, Craniofacial, developmental delays, Family Stories, hearing loss, older child adoption, profound deafness, Sensory System, sign language
In May 2009, I first saw her face. She couldn’t possibly be our daughter; she didn’t “fit” any of the criteria we’d committed to on our Medical Needs Checklist and there was no way my husband would agree to adopting her. True, we’d agreed that caring for a child with cleft lip/palate was something we …Read More
Using Video Self-Modeling to Facilitate Connection
August 9, 2016
Amy A., Attachment, attachment activities
Before bringing our son home from China in October 2013, I worked as a school psychologist serving children, families, teachers, and administrators in the school setting. Although the majority of my work was completing special education evaluations, providing direct intervention services was one of my favorite parts about my job. While attending Indiana University for …Read More
Sign Language and Adoption: The Value of their Voice
August 7, 2016
ASL, attachment activities, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, Family Stories, Heart System, sign language, speech delay, tracheo-malacia, VSD
You might think that sign language is only for children who are deaf or hard of hearing. We’d like to encourage you to reconsider. Signing is an incredibly valuable tool in any adoptive parent’s tool belt. It makes communicating with your newly adopted child exponentially easier – no matter their age or special need. And …Read More
Sign Language and Adoption: An Interview with New Day
August 2, 2016
ASL, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, New Day Foster Home, NGOs, sign language, Stefanie
You might think that sign language is only for children who are deaf or hard of hearing. We’d like to encourage you to reconsider. Signing is an incredibly valuable tool in ANY adoptive parent’s tool belt. It makes communicating with your newly adopted child exponentially easier – no matter their age or special need. And …Read More
Reading with your Toddler: China-themed Board Books
June 7, 2016
attachment activities, Faith, June 2016 Feature - Books, Newly Home, toddler adoption
I love to read, and was so excited to share that love with our boy when we brought him home. He’s two, so we are reading board books and picture books, and there are tons that feature China themes and Chinese people. We also like books that show both the English and Chinese word for …Read More
We Love the Llama
June 5, 2016
attachment activities, June 2016 Feature - Books, older child adoption, Whitney
Our June featured focus is books. Books that teach us about our children’s homeland. Books that help us understand our children’s past. Books that resonate with our kids once home. This month we’ll be featuring all kinds of books. It’s sure to be fun. And if you have some recommendations for our readers, please be …Read More
Sign Language and Adoption: A Reason to Sign
June 2, 2016
ASL, Attachment, attachment activities, August 2016 Feature - SIgn Language and Adoption, autism, China trip, Down syndrome, hearing loss, non-verbal, prepping for China, profound deafness, speech delay
When adopting internationally, almost every waiting parent worries, “How will I communicate with my new child?” Whether your new child is a year old or thirteen years old, if your child was not born in an English-speaking country, there will be some type of language barrier. This is even more true if you are adopting …Read More
Siblings and Adoption: 30 Ways to Ease the Transistion
March 30, 2016
adopting again, attachment activities, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, older child adoption, siblings
We have seven kids, four bio and three adopted. Our three children whom we have adopted are older kiddos with special needs. We’ve been home for only three months with our newest child….. so we are pretty much hands on at the moment. I have compiled a list of different things we did to help …Read More
Creating a Book to Help Children through Transitions
March 30, 2016
adopting again, Attachment, attachment activities, China trip, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, pre-adoption, prepping for China, waiting to travel
Children love books. The exciting pictures! The imaginative stories! The interactive tabs and hidden illustrations! The textures of a touch and feel! Typically, books allow a child to peek into an alternate reality filled with adventure but books can also be used as a tool to help guide a child through their own adventure. My …Read More
This is Real Life
March 13, 2016
adoption realities, Amy A., Attachment, attachment activities, first weeks home, first year home
When my husband and I stepped across the chasm – our old life on one side and our new life on the other – we had no idea what awaited us. Three and a half years later, we have a better understanding of the world we entered after saying Yes to adoption. So, in honor …Read More
Beauty from Ashes
February 19, 2016
adoption realities, Attachment, attachment activities, Katie, parent-to-child attachment, siblings
“I was so angry for so long. I felt real hate, Mom!” A child in my home recently confessed in the privacy of our conversation. They were speaking about the time when adoption trauma made its way into our home. When siblings were physically injured by a new addition, when lying became a part of …Read More
Love is a Universal Language
December 27, 2015
ASL, cochlear implants, December 2015 Feature - Sensory, Family Stories, hearing loss, Sensory System
Like nearly every adoptive parent in today’s international adoption realm, my husband and I began our adoption process with the (dreaded) Medical Conditions Checklist – a list of conditions that we felt prepared for and would be willing to review files for. Birthmarks, check. Missing digits, check. Sensory processing needs, check. As an autism specialist, …Read More
New Ears For Ellie Kate
December 1, 2015
ASL, attachment activities, cochlear implants, December 2015 Feature - Sensory, Family Stories, hearing loss, profound deafness, sedated ABR, Sensory System
When we started the adoption process for the second time, we knew things would look differently. Adopting a child through the Special Needs program in China was a huge step of faith for us and we had no idea what the next few months or even years would look for our family. While we were …Read More
Just One Thing
November 17, 2015
Andrea Y., Attachment, attachment activities, China trip, first year home, prepping for China
It was a rainy Sunday. A day of rest. I told the children to go grab books and have “reading and rest time” after church. All was quiet — and then our littlest who is now four and a half came quietly in my room. He came home when he was just over 2 years …Read More
Coming Home: Discipline or Behavior?
September 7, 2015
Attachment, attachment activities, cocooning, discipline, first weeks home, first year home, hoarding, orphanage behaviors, September 2015 Feature - Coming Home, Sharon, Trust Based Parenting
Continuing our September Series: Coming Home, today Sharon, mom of six from China, shares her thoughts on discipline vs. behavior. Amy shared on the Joy and the Struggle of the first weeks and months home, and Jenny shared on Helping Siblings Bond. You can find all posts in this series here ……. Our family has been to China …Read More
Bonding Tips While in China
August 15, 2015
attachment activities, China trip, Jean, orphanage behaviors, travel tips
Here I am writing about bonding while in China when the truth is…. I’m not so good at it! When we are in China there are so many emotions swirling around for our newly adopted child as well as myself that initial bonding is not my first priority… survival is! So maybe this is more …Read More
Attachment: Parenting Through the Hard Stuff
April 30, 2015
April/May 2015 Feature Attachment, Attachment, attachment activities, baby-wearing, Theraplay, Trust Based Parenting, working mom
A few weeks ago we read a post on Lauren’s blog and thought it would be an excellent resource to share here. Lauren was gracious enough to allow us to use it. There is so much good stuff, we broke it down into two posts, this is post two, post one is here. Thank you, Lauren, …Read More
Attachment: Room By Room
April 28, 2015
April/May 2015 Feature Attachment, Attachment, attachment activities, co-sleeping, Trust Based Parenting
A few weeks ago we read this post on Lauren’s blog and thought it would be an excellent resource to share here. Lauren was gracious enough to allow us to use it. There is so much good stuff, we broke it down into two posts, this being post one, with post two to follow shortly. Thank …Read More
Living with attachment issues long term
May 9, 2013
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, developmental delays, Nancy, parent-to-child attachment
I tell people all the time, especially when we’re knee deep in discussions about adoption or attachment issues. Ya know, some kiddos just don’t handle institutionalization well. Some come out of it just fine. Some go straight to their new family and never look back with smiles and enthusiasm. And others, like our sweet thing, …Read More
All About Love
February 13, 2013
attachment activities, Laine
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so let’s talk about LOVE! One of my favorite subjects! Some say, “Actions speak louder than words.” In some cases, that may be true. But we must never underestimate the power of words. When we meet our adopted children for the first time, we always say I love you lots and …Read More
Let’s Talk Communication
October 17, 2012
Attachment, attachment activities, attachment challenges, first year home, Kelley, Newly Home, older child adoption, parent-to-child attachment
One of the most common questions we are asked about the adoption of our older child is whether she spoke any English when we brought her home and/or how we’ve dealt with the language barrier. There are many ways to communicate in those first days, weeks, and months. From playing charades (which didn’t work so …Read More
Fresh Starts
September 17, 2012
attachment activities, attachment challenges, Kelley, siblings
There’s something about fall that renews my mind and soul. The crisp air that blows in at sunset, the comfort of Starbuck’s pumpkin spice lattes, the anticipation of new activities and routines. I was that dork in college who loved buying new school books at the beginning of the semester. Unmarked pages, un-battered notebooks, unused pens. It’s that …Read More
Attachment in the Trenches
April 25, 2012
Attachment, attachment activities, baby-wearing, China trip, co-sleeping, cocooning, first weeks home, first year home, Nancy, Newly Home, parent-to-child attachment, travel tips
When we were in China, we traveled with several other families. In our travel group, I don’t think I’m exaggerating by saying that we had “the crier.” Unlike the other happy, giggly children in the group who were quick to return their parent’s smile, our sweetie was unhappy much of the time. Despite our efforts, …Read More
Communicating through ASL
January 31, 2012
ASL, attachment activities, cl/cp, Nicole, Parenting Special Needs
This has probably been a familiar scene at some point in your home … your young toddler child is sitting in the middle of the floor throwing a temper tantrum. Tears are streaming down her face, her nose is running and her hair is matted to her face. She’s kicking the floor and screaming … …Read More