July 23, 2016 adoptee perspective, adult adoptee, Perspectives, protecting their story, telling their life story 10 Comments

Hello Readers, I am new here at guest posting on No Hands But Ours. First, let me introduce myself. My name is Parrie Liu and I am a Chinese adoptee. Since the age of almost four, I have lived in Texas with a loving family. Currently, I am attending university and pursing a degree in …Read More

July 12, 2016 adoptee perspective, adoption realities, adult adoptee, Perspectives, telling their life story 1 Comments

Ni Hao and hello! I’d like to introduce myself. I am the Happy Panda from Europe. I was adopted when I was two from Sichuan. I am now 24 years old and just graduated as a social worker. I studied social work and during the lessons we learned to create/stimulate awareness. My goal is to …Read More

July 1, 2016 adoptee perspective, books, June 2016 Feature - Books, Perspectives, TongguMomma 1 Comments

Anyone who knows me knows that I love books. Goodness, we own so many children’s books, we actually created a Dewey Decimal System for our home library so that we can find them! Thankfully both of my girls also love reading and books and all things literary. This list reflects many of my oldest daughter’s …Read More

June 19, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Randall 2 Comments

About two months ago I stared at the number on the scale beneath my feet. I’d never seen a number that big before. Maybe the scale needed to be calibrated. Surely this wasn’t right. I stepped off. Calibrated it. Set a 10 pound dumbbell on it to confirm it’s accuracy. Then I stepped back on. …Read More

March 9, 2016 Amy, pre-adoption, should we adopt?, sibling perspective, waiting for referral 2 Comments

I remember several times over about 5 years talking to Jesus about adoption. I remember telling Him that I would if I could, but… my husband wasn’t on board. it was too expensive. it wasn’t the right time. the kids are too old. the kids are too young. our house doesn’t have any more room …Read More

February 29, 2016 adopting again, adopting later in life, Chris, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, sibling perspective, siblings 4 Comments

Wait. What? You’re not excited that we’re adopting again? But how could this be? Why? What’s the problem here? You were super excited when we adopted before… what’s so different this time? These were the questions we asked when we told our older children almost two years ago that we were growing our family through …Read More

February 27, 2016 February 2016 Feature - Siblings, sibling perspective, siblings 0 Comments

Not many people get two chances to be a big brother. Let me explain. I’m the oldest of three siblings that turned into four, then five, then six. Nearly 20 years are present in the gap between kids three and four. This gap has rendered and blessed me with such an unique and amazing opportunity. …Read More

February 25, 2016 February 2016 Feature - Siblings, sibling perspective, siblings 0 Comments

“How has adopting your sisters really affected your life?” I think the phrase, “If I had a dime for every time someone asked me that question,” is one I can relate to. Well-meaning strangers, social workers, family members, friends, church members, discussion panels, you name it and they’ve asked. It’s not a question I take …Read More

February 24, 2016 a father's perspective, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, Randall, sibling perspective 6 Comments

SHUT YOUR MOUTH We had a striking revelation the other day. When we began talking about our adoption roadmap, we had decided we would start the process when we turned thirty-five years old because women who get pregnant after thirty-five statistically have a 1 in 400 chance of having a child with Down syndrome. And …Read More

February 23, 2016 February 2016 Feature - Siblings, Rebecca, sibling perspective, siblings 1 Comments

“It’s kind of weird being the only kid born in the USA.” She stopped me in my tracks. I was a trained adoptive parent. I read the books, took our agency’s assigned courses on transracial families, and attended conferences. I’d also read about preparing my biological daughter for the adoption of siblings. We purchased Asian …Read More

February 17, 2016 Down syndrome, Family Stories, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, sibling perspective, siblings 13 Comments

Almost three years ago, a little stranger came into my life. And then six months ago, another one joined her: Pearl and Molly, our spicy Hunan girls. It’s so hard to think that they once were strangers to us, to our love, to our family. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like without …Read More

February 13, 2016 Family Stories, February 2016 Feature - Siblings, large families, sibling perspective, siblings 12 Comments

Upon learning that I am the oldest of fourteen children, six of whom are adopted from China, a typical response goes something along the lines of, “Bless your heart, that sounds crazy.” My answer is yes, it is crazy! Crazy in the most wonderful, beautiful, joyfully-chaotic way. Others might say, “Weren’t your parents busy enough? …Read More

November 30, 2015 adoptee perspective, adult adoptee, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story 0 Comments

“Why don’t you look like me, Daddy?” “When did I come out of your tummy, Mommy?” “Why did my “real” Mom not want me?” “So, you are still my real parents, or are they my parents?” “Will you ever leave me?” If you are an adoptive father or mother, questions like these from your child …Read More

November 23, 2015 adoptee perspective, embracing their story, heritage trip, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, orphanage visit, telling their life story 0 Comments

Their story with us didn’t start at the beginning. I think we jumped in around chapter 3 or 4. Much like opening a book midstream and trying to piece together a plot, our adoptions began with many unanswered questions and many holes that I knew we could never fill. Yet at some point, I knew …Read More

November 22, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

November 20, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, Jean, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, older child adoption, telling their life story 0 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

November 12, 2015 adoptee perspective, adoptee Q and A, birth family, November 2015 Feature - Embracing Their Story, telling their life story 1 Comments

We know that God is the only one who can heal hearts and redeem stories. But what of our role as shepherds of their hearts? One powerful, guiding gift we can dig into is the experience of others, young and old, who are willing to share their stories. As part of our Embracing Their Story …Read More

October 25, 2015 a father's perspective, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, orphan ministry, Randall, supporting adoptive families 7 Comments

A MOST NEEDED ASSET According to research data, of the tens of millions of families who have considered adoption, only 5% have walked the process through to completion. Certainly, there are a number of reasons for this. Psychology Today notes financial burden, obstacles, legal red tape, and emotional turmoil as the leading deterrents in completing …Read More

October 21, 2015 adopting as a single mom, China trip, Desiree, Developmental System, Down syndrome, Gotcha Day, grandparent's perspective, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village 2 Comments

For every nuclear family that is forever changed through adoption, there are grandparents somewhere in the mix. Hopefully, they are the family foundation for which the adoption is built on, but generationally, there may be relational, cultural, racial or even spiritual issues that hinder healthy adoption support. Even the bureaucracy of adoption can overwhelm and …Read More

October 8, 2015 grandparent's perspective, October 2015 Feature - It Takes a Village, supporting adoptive families 0 Comments

The announcement that you are going to be a grandparent again… this time through adoption. Being a grandparent is one of the most amazing experiences we could imagine. When our daughter and son-in-law announced the pregnancy of their first two children, we were so excited. When they announced their plan to adopt a child, we …Read More

September 25, 2015 a father's perspective, Bryson, China trip, Dads, Gotcha Day 17 Comments

Bryson, dad to 3 year old Lydia and husband to Mandy, shared several months ago on the challenges of attachment. We loved his post so much we asked him to come back and contribute regularly. Today he shares with us a true labor of love, his documentary film of their adoption journey. I encourage you …Read More

June 30, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, Mike 15 Comments

Finishing up our June Feature, Let’s Hear it For Dads, with a post by Mike, a former (and much-missed!) regular contributor. We at NHBO enjoyed this series so much that we are working on bringing in more “dad” voices. Because dads are awesome, too. So grateful that Mike agreed to share this wit and wisdom with …Read More

June 23, 2015 a father's perspective, Attachment, Bryson, Dads, first year home, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 12 Comments

Of the many conversations we had with our caseworker from the adoption agency, I remember one much more clearly than the others. During this phone call, our caseworker (who, by the way, was amazing) was role playing and asking questions to help us prepare for the day we would meet our daughter, Lydia. One of …Read More

June 18, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 0 Comments

I am an 80’s kid. I grew up watching He-Man Masters of the Universe, GI Joe, and Transformers. Growing up, the theme was always Good vs. Evil. From the Smurfs fighting Gargamel to the games we played in the backyard battling “the bad guys,” it was always about saving the ones we love. Sometimes we …Read More

June 12, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, Down syndrome, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, Randall 2 Comments

Hey Dads. First of all, I know you’re probably a little scared. It’s okay. You don’t have to admit it, at least not yet. Just know that there’s somebody out there who gets what you’re going through. We’ve all felt it. Trust me, you’ll find a way to lead your family through the process. Take …Read More

June 5, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, Developmental System, Down syndrome, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads 7 Comments

You don’t know me, but if you’re a dad (or prospective dad) considering adopting a child with Down syndrome from China, I think I know you. I think I was you. I know you worry about caring for a child with developmental disabilities and lifelong needs. I know you worry about health problems that are …Read More

June 1, 2015 a father's perspective, Dads, hearing loss, June 2015 Feature - Let's Hear It For Dads, reluctant husband, Sensory System 3 Comments

June is here and as we move into a new month, we also begin a new Feature here on NHBO. In April and May our focus was on attachment. This month, in honor of Father’s Day, our focus will be… you guessed it, Dads. We are looking forward to sharing posts from adoptive dads all …Read More

February 19, 2015 a father's perspective, adoption realities, large families, Mike 39 Comments

“When you go back…” In the weeks before we left for China for our first adoption, Anne and I met with some family friends who had adopted three Chinese daughters. The goal of our time with Kevin and Vicki was to better understand what to expect on the trip and in the months to follow. …Read More

January 19, 2015 a father's perspective, gender as a special need, Mike 8 Comments

It started with Adam It was at McDonalds on a crisp December morning in 2002, and we had just completed an ultrasound appointment for our second child. During the appointment, we learned that our first child, Abby, was going to have a baby brother. Over her tray of hash browns and an Egg McMuffin, Anne …Read More

January 7, 2015 adoptee perspective 0 Comments

My name is Becky, aka FullPlateMom. This is my first time contributing here at No Hands But Ours. I am mom of ten amazing children who all came to us through adoption, and wife to one never-endingly patient man who I call Joe, but is lovingly referred to as FullPlateDad on our family blog. You …Read More

December 22, 2014 a father's perspective, Christmas, Dads, Mike, reluctant husband 4 Comments

Let me paint a picture for you. A wife comes to her husband and explains that she wants to have a child. He responds that he is not sure about the timing, but he is willing to try… or at least practice a lot. But then she explains that this isn’t that kind of child. …Read More

November 19, 2014 a father's perspective, adoption realities, Chinese Culture, large families, Mike, transracial adoption 10 Comments

I am the textbook definition of a white guy. Beyond simply a scarcity of melanin, I have almost every other stereotypical characteristic that one might associate with my race – a general lack of rhythm, limited vertical leap, a “John Cougar Mellencamp” playlist on my iPod, an unhealthy relationship with ketchup, and a generalized ignorance …Read More

October 19, 2014 a father's perspective, age assignment, Mike 4 Comments

Or, how my son got younger since we adopted him. We recently celebrated Round 2 of my son Sam’s fourth birthday party. On the surface, this may not seem unusual. A lot of people might have two different birthday parties – one at school and one at home, one with family and one with friends, …Read More

• age assignment

September 20, 2014 adult adoptee 14 Comments

My adoption story is a common adoption story. It began in South Korea. Through a sequence of unknown events and decisions, I spent time in both an orphanage and foster home before I was adopted at the age of five months. I was welcomed into a family in Michigan with two parents who longed to …Read More

September 19, 2014 a father's perspective, adoption realities, Mike 11 Comments

As an adoptive parent, I sometimes forget that my adopted children had a life before me… that their life did not start when we met in a Chinese Civil Affairs building. The following essay was written last year by my 9 year old daughter, Mia, as part of a class assignment on “A Place I …Read More

August 19, 2014 a father's perspective, Mike 4 Comments

When we started investigating adoption, one of our greatest concerns was the impact it might have on Abby and Adam – our “bio kids.” We loved our family of four. Through the completely objective lens of all young parents, our kids seemed smarter, nicer, and better looking than all of the other kids at the …Read More

July 19, 2014 a father's perspective, Mike 7 Comments

We are on the verge of a major transition in our home. For the last 14 years, we have had at least one child who needed an afternoon nap. In recent weeks, it is becoming clear that our youngest, Sam, may no longer need one. As my three-year-old transitions into a big-boy schedule, we are …Read More

June 15, 2014 a father's perspective, adoption realities, affording adoption, Mike 13 Comments

As a dad, one of the most common concerns from prospective adoptive fathers is on the finances relative to adoption and larger families. This provides some perspective on our experience: This month will be the 10th anniversary of when we moved into our current house. We built this house, and it was the perfect size …Read More

May 19, 2014 a father's perspective, BAHA, hearing loss, microtia, Mike, Sensory System 1 Comments

April 19, 2014 a father's perspective, HIV, Mike 7 Comments

It was just over one year ago that Anne and I returned home from China with Sam and Ellie. And as I reflect upon our time in China, I am struck by how much I treasure my memories from those first days together. I remember laughing at our first meal together when Sam and Ellie …Read More

March 19, 2014 a father's perspective, HIV, Mike 6 Comments

Mike is dad to six. Two of his children, adopted from China, have HIV. Today he shares from-the-heart about their journey. You can read a previous post he shared here. Growing up in the Midwest in the 80s, my picture of HIV was framed by after-school specials, the evening news, and MTV. I had never …Read More

March 12, 2013 a father's perspective, HIV, Mike 6 Comments

— A guest post by dad-to-six Mike Jutt who is currently in China bringing home his twins! “This is going to be the most shocking phone call of your life…” Those are the first 13 words Anne said to me when I answered the phone at work that afternoon. But it was the next three …Read More

February 9, 2013 Nancy, Perspectives, sibling perspective 5 Comments

This post is written by Livy, my 16-year-old amazing daughter. She traveled with us both on our first adoption trip to Vietnam to get her now 5 year old brother and sister, Jude and Tess. And 10 months ago to China to get her new baby sister, Mimi, who is 2 years old. All three …Read More

December 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian, spina bifida 2 Comments

August 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian, spina bifida 4 Comments

If you happen to want to adopt internationally, and you live in Ontario Canada, there is a certain course you have to take. It’s called the PRIDE course. And it covers many wonderful topics. The PRIDE curriculum provides information to help prepare all adoptive parents for the responsibilities involved in raising their children and incorporates …Read More

July 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian, spina bifida 2 Comments

… I’m sorry. It’s a good thing I’m cute! I’m sorry I judged you too quickly. I’m sorry that at the sight of your disheveled hair, clad in your 1972 floral print muumuu, with mismatched socks, I judged you. I’m sorry that while your child lay on the ground, feet flying up in the air, …Read More

July 20, 2012 adoptee perspective, first year home, Kelley, Newly Home, older child adoption, telling their life story 5 Comments

On June 27th, our family celebrated our 13-year-old’s first “Gotcha Day” anniversary. As I was writing out my thoughts that day to share on my personal blog, I wondered what might be going on in Caroline’s head as she reflected back over the last 12 months. I explained my blog to her and asked if …Read More

May 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian, spina bifida 2 Comments

Happy Mother’s Day! Um, okay, maybe that’s a little late, but this is really the first time I’ve had to post since Mother’s Day. ComicCon 2012 – what better way to say “Thanks Mom!” I hope Mother’s Day was great for everyone… lots of flowers, and chocolate, and other such things. Our Mother’s Day, well, …Read More

April 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian, spina bifida 6 Comments

So this post is a little unexpected. I’ve got a post about Miss G’s B-Day, and that hopefully will be funny. I’ve got a post about some other stuff, again, hopefully funny. They always look cute when dressed up as a duck But driving home today, Ping had said something that I think I need …Read More

March 21, 2012 a father's perspective, Adrian 0 Comments